Title: Harry Potter and the Past That Never Was
Author: RobertStorm
Rating: T (PG-13)
Genre: Time Travel/AU
Pairing: Currently Unknown
Status: WIP
Summary: Transported back to just before his eleventh birthday, Harry gets the chance to right the wrongs in his life. But, "knowing then, what you know now," isn't always all it's cracked up to be. Your best friends may not be your friend, your enemies may not be your enemy. Even the greatest enemy may be easily dispatched. But evil will remain as long as there is good. Harry discovers changing the past leaves the door open to a future that may be worse than he can imagine. Will our hero prevail?

Link: http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/robertstorm/HPATPTNW.html

The pairing, according to the site's way of listing, is Harry/canon witch, which rules out Hermione, Angelina Johnson, Bellatrix, Blaise (female or otherwise), Cho, Fleur, Lavender Brown, Luna, Narcissa, Tonks, Pansy, the Patil twins and, mercifully, Gin-slut (despite the overtones of the first chapter). That probably means someone like Susan Bones or Daphne Greengrass, which is always a good thing. Main characters are listed as being Harry, Hermione and Draco (reasons are obvious by the end of Ch 6). The main reason I have put this up for review is the unique reasoning behind the time travel and the events of HBP (ie, makes it seem like less of a ). Still waiting to get to the meat of the story, but the setup looks promising. Only possible problem is Harry still being a little bitch, but I think it will be a decent fic anyway.

 

I've only read up to chapter three so far and will be reading chapter four as soon as I finish this note.

Yeah, Harry is a little bitch so far. This is definitely the Harry 'Dumbledore's Man' Potter we saw in so he's very reactionary. In fact he seems to have regressed back to his physical age mentally. Most disappointingly he doesn't even consider getting angry at the deceptions he was apparently forced into or the needless mistreatment he's suffered through. The only positive outcome thus far seems to be in his decision to learn occulmency for his own sake and the fleeting question he has of Snape's true loyalties.

And really, why is he so trusting of Snape, even if he was supposedly on the side of good all along? Harry just spent the previous year screaming and screaming to people who'd not listen that Snape was a bastard, shouldn't there be a massive amount of distrust still ruling his internal thoughts? Shouldn't he be screaming at Dumbledore he was an eediot for trusting Snape like this, when Snape was the reason his parents were dead in the first place? You might get away with most of the rest of this setup, but that last bit refuses to be explained away.

So far they've explained away the need for the whole half-baked plot, but it still seems a bit half-baked to me. I mean, something they've worked on for nearly twelve years? (According to my reading it was six years of research and another six years of preparations to perform.) And then now that they've got their 'do-over' they abandon its preparations and lose their ace in the hole? I don't buy it.

I mean sure, this whole thing explains the laissez faire Dumbledore has had to everything over the years--he knows he can just start over again if he doesn't like the way things go--but to me it cheapens the sacrifices that others have made just so Dumbledore can play around, see what sticks.

I'll keep reading but so far this looks like something to read, not necessarily something . . .

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Okaaaaay...So Harry's not the only one to come back. And without giving away too much I'm beginning to see a chance there for a good Independent!Harry if the author is able to use other characters to influence him. The last line of chapter six is where you see that possibility being ushered out. As is the choice of whom it is that came back with him. Assuming we see still more people traveling back in time with Harry, this could be a sign of an independent front being opened in the war.

The way the various adults act in chapter four? Or is it five? makes it clear that despite Dumbledore flat out telling the Order he will have fumbled the war to come so badly he will be willing to use an untested and highly dangerous time spell, they still see him as infallible.

I'll keep reading to see if it picks up, but it'll take a bit of work to de-pussify Harry, and I don't know if the author intends to do so or not. Like I said above, they shining ray of hope comes in the last line of chapter six that Harry and whomever it is that came back will be intelligent enough to think for themselves and take action for their own benefit and not just play good little soldiers...

--bornagainpenguin (crossing his fingers)

EDIT - added more thoughts after read the next three chapters.

 

I'm wondering if you actually read Ch 4 or not. There is a question and answer session between Snape and Harry where there is something of an explanation about his parents, and while he probably trusts Snape a bit more than he should, I think much of that trust can be put down to the fact that he has a second chance. There's also the fact that he is pretty much relying on Dumbledore right now, and if he can't trust Dumbledore and his judgement at this point, he can't trust anyone. I can't see a ten-year-old Harry getting too far on his own at this point, and the sort of knowledge he has would be impossible to keep from Dumbledore anyway.

As for aborting preparations for the "do-over", yeah, that is a bit stupid. I think the author was trying to be too clever and tripped himself up. Either that or it's a "one-shot" sort of thing, but anyway...

I think it's too early to tell if this is one for the library or not. It's hasn't been three days since Harry was sent back, so there's no way of knowing what's going to change. I just thought it was one to keep an eye on.

 

I had said I haven't if you'd read what I said.

I read up to chapter three, commented then read the next three chapters, and commented again. And I said that was what I was doing before I wrote.

As for the author tripping himself, yes, in my opinion he did. It would ahve been better if the author would go back and edit into the chapter where Dumbledore announces he'll have to tell Snape to cancel the preparations, after all the spell only works once in a given situation. ( But how could they know this unless they had tested the spell? And wouldn't the test make it impossible to do the spell again? )

And I'm wondering why the hell Harry would trust the Dumb bastard enough to tie his shoes? (Hmmm...that would explain Dumbledore's sock fetish, wouldn't it? The man cannot tie his own shoes...) He's fumbled the war completely--from Harry's perspective anyway--and then the explaination of events includes 'Oh-by-the-way-we-mind-raped-you-to-send-our-memories-back' ...Why the HELL would Harry trust him now? Sure he's physically ten or so, but mentally he's much much older!

I agree. And that's more or less what I said in my review. I was simply pointing out the flaws as I saw them. Others will read and post after me their thoughts on the flaws and the gems in the story. If you look at the stuff I posted in the EDIT on my message, you'll note that I saw signs of a change in the story for the better.

I don't expect a complete change over from CannonSixYear!Harry, that would be unrealistic--what I do expect is to see some signs the heroic figure we read about in books one through four is still alive! You don't take Superman's repsect, you don't belittle King Arthur, and you don't turn Harry Potter into a weak little bitch. That goes for JKR as well! What I'm hoping for is those who came back with him will be able to make Harry wake the hell up and start fighting for his right to life a 'normal' life. (Yeah, I know and I think it's unrealistic for him to be normal, but that is the goal he's always had for himself.) I want to see Harry take control of his own life and start doing whatever he must to be free.

--bornagainpenguin

 

Sorry, my bad.

Feel free to or or . I need sleep. Just disregard that post, except for the second bit.

As for trusting Dumbledore, I think it's more the fact that he wants to trust him at this point than anything else. You said it yourself, it would be unrealistic to have a complete change of his personality from sixth year, and the knowledge that Dumbledore had this sort of backup plan gives him a fairly big carrot to trust him. With the mind rape thing, I think (and I seriously hope I'm not being a tool again ) you might have read that bit wrong. I'm pretty sure that was a requirement for the time travel spell itself, rather that the "send memories back in time" thing.

Again, apologies for the cock-up before.

 

No problem. Get some sleep then. Sleep is good. Good sleep. [bornagainpenguin pulls out pocket watch and starts swinging it back and forth] Sleeeeeep.... Sleeeeeeep...

I may have misread that, but my thinking was that rather than being required for the spell to work, it was the whole point of the spell. Despite the whispered conversation that takes place in chapter four or five between Dumbledore and Snape about how "innocent" Harry seems to be I think the author has written a cold uncaring Dumbledore who only sees Harry as a tool for himself to wield against Voldemort.

But yeah, the story is still young and I'm seeing hints Harry will have his "innocence" wiped away when his friend who came with is able to make him look at just how badly he's been misused.

--bornagainpenguin

 

I thought the author has a good grip writing "canon characters", Snape seems a bit off, but things like the visiting of Bill in the St. Mungo's was very JKR ish.
The story is not as "stiff" as DrT's "Harry's second chance" and I hope we won't see Super!Harry that has popped up in many of the of back in time fics.

I would not be surprized if it turned into a hp/hg pairing with the way it is set up now(what other girl can he confide in?)

I hope the Robert Storm use the butterfly effect to take the story way off the book plot lines. Some ideas: finding the power, curse breaking the DADA
office/position, taking out death eaters early (what did Peter say, boy was he giving the kiss fast eh?) fighting Dumbledore, the leader of the Wizgamot sure wasn't doing his job letting all those DE sneak out of trials, Taking on Umbridge early, fight the press (Wizard Wireless vs daily prophet), Black and Potter vs
corrupt politicians. In short move the storyline outside the halls of Hogwarts.

Lets keep the story in review and see were it goes.
I give Robert 1 star for the non angst ridden, different from harry won the war but the cost was too high start, right off the bat, another for decent characterization, and hope he can earn a few few more soon.

 

Hoooooooorrible, absolutely horrible...

The dunderhead trio is at it and Ginslut is being included....
I have no idea after chapter one but chapter one is filled with sickenly bad jokes and some fluff...
And then theres the whole point with Harry bribing the Dursleys with 10,000£
and seems compleatly unfrazed by the ammount of money he gave them...


BAD READ!

1/5

 

I really liked it, it managed to keep my interest whilst i was eating, not many fics do.

4/5

 

Well actually he seemed completely disgusted with them afterwards.

See what I mean? He kept on getting sicker and more disgusted each time he thought of it. What bugs me (and yes I know it wouldn't have been inline with the author's plot bunny,) is he never thought to use the knowledge of this experience upon returning to the past. In fact I'm really peeved at the fact his first thought was to go running to Dumbledore at all! Then again we've all read the fics where he tries to keep his head down and be "slytherin" (in the cannon sense) and this is something new...

I gave it 3/5 (but only because the line at the end of chapter six gives me hope things will move into a more independent Harry).

--bornagainpenguin

 

Any other opinions and ratings?

 

Yeah. When is this guy gonna UPDATE already?

--bornagainpenguin

 

I've read this, and overall I thought it was a rather creative time-travel story with an innovative explanation of canon events (such as Snape's behavior during Occlumency, or the need for Snape to kill Dumbledore), and a fairly good Butterfly-Effect situation where Harry et al feel no need to try to keep the timeline on the rails.

But yes, the updating has halted...

 

This has been an interesting story I think it should be more considered a hummor fic but hey I liked it anyway and will keep reading it not to many things that I can find wrong with the story so I give it a 4 / 5