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WIP Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin By The Sinister Man - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by iamnotreal, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. TallDarkStranger

    TallDarkStranger Fourth Year

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    I really liked this fic.

    Positives:
    1. Lockhart, competent, and talented as well. Very nicely written.
    Especially the interaction with luna and team mysterio

    2. The snake lair. Pretty cool, and the way malfoy grows a pair was interestingly done.

    3. Pettigrew as someone who's redoubtable in his own way. Solicitor is a great angle.

    4. The scene with Ron pointing out where Ginny stands in her family. Very well written.

    Negatives:

    1. The unnecessary formality. Where did all this shit come from? Which 11 year old talks of alliances all the time? smh


    Probably my favorite rewrite fic along with The Santi.
    I love the author's intricate portrayal of a lot of convention-killers (werewolves for eg. )
     
  2. AinoUta

    AinoUta Muggle

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    I know this has been said before, but I'll voice my opinion on the story anyway:
    Not the best, but not the worst. A tad bit clichéd (EX. brother of Assumed boy who lived has to be abused.), but still better than some of the stories out there. The grammar is decent. Guilty Pleasure, 3/5 .
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2016
  3. Hiraelle

    Hiraelle Third Year

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
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    104
    I went to read this fic not expecting to like it. But I did quite a bit (I do have a weakness for Slytherin Harry though).
    I even liked the first year.
    Yes, there are problems.
    - The Potters are... well... even if the authors does give reasons why they left Harry with the Dursleys, it still doesn't explain why they didn't even check on him. James is a moron. Harry's twin Jim is a moron. Lily's a little better. They weren't too present in the story though, at least not to the point of annoying me.
    - The author's way of explaining everything with magic is sometimes ridiculous (the "learning potions" for example, like "oh you give your children potions so that in a few days they automatically learn basic maths and writing and reading and so much more, like what - thankfully that's just said in passing, not a plot point, and I hope it will not be).
    - I also forget they're supposed to be 11. They don't speak or act like children. Not even like teenagers. But well. I suppose for a story like that it's more interesting that way?

    Positives :
    - Updates regularly (like once a week it seems)
    - The author seems to have a plan for where he's going.
    - Pettigrew's characterisation. In fact, almost all of the characters are interesting. He even tried to add some depth to the Potters, even with what they've done to Harry.
    - Snape is OOC, but I like the author's reasoning for it : "I know he's a right git and a detestable man in canon so I decided to change it and make him OOC" (not "oh he's so misunderstood in canon" as is usually thought). And I don't mind an OOC Snape as I really don't like canon Snape.
    - The plot is interesting. It's not dragged down by canon rehash (yes there is a bit of that of course, but there are enough new things other than that). It makes me wonder what comes next and what the fuck is up with some characters.
    - Dumbledore is not evil. And if there's bashing it didn't bother me. That's a big plus, especially in a WBWL, Slytherin Harry story where usually it's bashing galore.
    - Last but not least : I thorougly enjoyed it. Despite the flaws it has and all. It has good qualities. It's good. It's fun to read. I'd recommend to give it a go and see what you think.

    Rating : I hesitated to give it 4/5. But given that I was really engrossed when I was reading it, I'll give 5/5.
    It's not perfect. It's not a masterpiece. But it was an excellent way to pass the time and I really had fun reading it.
    Plus bonus for update rate.
     
  4. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    352
    I've decided to lift my rating from 3/5 to 4/5, because ... well, today I sat there, eagerly anticipating the next chapter of this story and you simply don't do this with "almost recommended" stories.
    Anyway, the second part of this story is definitely better than its rating here on DLP.

    Whatever: Read Me, I'm An Update!
    I thought this chapter to be really exciting. First und foremost, the "Jim is capable, but by far not as good as Harry"-approach the author used in the early chapters, is definitely gone here.
    The duel between Jim and Harry and the brother wand effect are very interestingly portrayed and ... well, I love epic scenes :D
    I don't want to spoil too much, so I won't go into further detail about the ending of the conflict, but, frankly, I don't care about pretentiousness if the author manages to rewrite a scene that well.

    The only criticism I have is that, seeing the repeatedly critized very sophisticated language and behaviour of all children, Harry's announcement to Jim and the reasons for it seem somewhat petty.

    EDIT: I'll only judge Ron's reaction if it becomes clear if he has got the diary. If he hasn't, it also was quite a letdown.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  5. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The premise is too ridiculous for me to get past. I tried, I really tried. Living Lily and James abandon their other son to a horrible abusive life because they think he'd be JEALOUS? What?!?!

    No. Just no. Beyond no. 125% No. If this makes it into the library I'll stage a protest, a boycott.

    No/5
     
  6. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    First: They didn't know his life would be abusive. In fact, if not for another circumstance, it might not have been.
    Second: They thought Jim might drain Harry of life and magic if they´d stay together. (which is in general quite ridiculous, but better than the premise WITHOUT that reason)
    Third: They believed Harry to be a squib because of Jim - and it can indeed be pretty horrible to live together with someone doing something marvelous which you yourself can't do because he basically stole it from you.

    That's not to say the premise isn't flawed: It is, horribly so. But as the author specifically states he wants to subvert WrongBWL!Harry and Slytherin!Harry clichés it was maybe inavoidable.
    Seeing what it led up to, I can forgive the story what is most possibly its biggest flaw.
     
  7. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    Aug 19, 2014
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    I can't take a fic seriously if it has this retarded a premise. Sorry.
     
  8. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Oh well...
    I readily admit I forgot about that little detail. And I really can't find it in me to defend THAT.

    So, I will try to forget it again and hope it'll never be mentioned as the story goes on.
    Yes, the "lalalala, I can't hear you"-approach. Because some points of the story are really well done and I don't want to miss that because of a flawed premise. Even if it is *THAT* flawed.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  9. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Personally I really enjoyed it, nice and easy reading without being ridiculous or silly. An easy 4/5 for me, I can see myself coming back to re-read it in future.
     
  10. Darth Disaster

    Darth Disaster The Waking Sith ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm sorry, what, no. "Drain Harry of Life and Magic" That's just making crap up with absolutely no foundation in canon at all to justify his retarded premise a bit more.

    Same goes for the third.

    As for the first...

    So, not only did they 'not know' that Lily's magic hating sister and her magic hating husband would mistreat a child born from a magic family? PLEASE. Not only that, they didn't even apparently bother to check in on him well enough to see how he was doing?

    No. No. Lily and James were intelligent, dedicated, caring, loving, loyal people who would, quite literally, die for their children. But apparently the author has made them out to be not only ignorantly reactionary (based on crap he made up with no support from canon) but also abusively uncaring about the state of their other child because they 'feared' he might be a squib.

    "Oh well, our other kid might not be magical, lets just fob him off on my terribly unpleasant sister and her equally unpleasant husband, because that doesn't tell a child that he's less worthy of the love and attention of his parents than living with a possibly more talented and gifted sibling"

    If he's trying to subvert the Wrong!BWL and Slytherin!Harry tropes, he started it off in the worst possible way. Horrible misinterpretations of characters normally horribly misinterpreted for this trope added onto flat out stupid rationalizations in a trope laden to the gills with stupid rationalizations.

    My opinion remains the same. This is not worthy of the library. I don't care how technically competent the writing is, the whole premise is stupid beyond belief. It's at best worthy of 'almost recommended'. And that solely on the technical quality of the writing, which I have to admit is pretty good.

    Edit:

    LOL, I forgot about this bit too. WOW. Stupidity +1.

    No.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  11. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    If you're looking for canon-compliance, you're definitely wrong here. I mean, SO wrong.

    Your whole point is about wrong characterisation of James and Lily, and it's valid, but not the main point of the story and therefore not that meaningful to me.
    I can however understand why it is a dealbreaker for some.

    EDIT: You know, I can really sympathize with your signature :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  12. theronin

    theronin Order Member

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    867
    So I decided to read this, and got through most of it. It's pretty awful, but at least held my attention enough that I read 100k+ words of it. Then again, I've been procrastinating all week, so who knows.

    The main issue is the sheer amount of stupidity by everyone and their cousin in this story. If you can disconnect your brain and try not to think too hard about it, the story sort of works I guess, but it also has a tendency to jump through all kinds of hoops to justify things that are happening. All in all, I don't think I would even recommend it at a decent time waster, unless you are really bored and desperate for something to read.
     
  13. Mal

    Mal Squib

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    Sep 24, 2015
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    6
    The premise of this story is ridiculous and the execution can't really mask all the tired cliches. At best I would give this a 3/5, but I couldn't get past the first few chapters, so maybe it gets better afterwards.

    User was warned for this review. This is an example of an "empty" review, and therefore I consider it a shitpost. What premise did you find ridiculous? What tired cliches bothered you? Mention something specific to the damn story next time, please.
    ~Ched

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 24, 2016
  14. JErosion

    JErosion DA Member

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    Feb 14, 2015
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    166
    The prologue and first couple of chapters of this story is pretty bad, the prologue especially since the author commits the fanfiction sin of telling rather than showing in that chapter. The rest if the first year is kinda meh, but it written well enough to keep your attention. However the real meat and potatoes of this story becomes clear once the second year gets going, the failings of many characters become clear. There has been several discussions in story about Wild Magic, which in this story is Sentient Magic. And one of the aspects of wild magic is Prophecy, further prophecies want to come true. To do so Wild Magic will prod people into taking to make it so. Be it causing Alberforth to discover Snape and prevent him from relaying the full details of Trelawney's Prophecy to Voldemort, and then cause the downfall of the dark lord. Likewise the Potter Prophecy is working the same way.

    At some point in Harry's Future is an event in which he will make an important choice. Wild Magic is pushing events here and there to get Harry to the point where he can make the decision. So as a result Lily allows her fears to make her send her son away, James has that extra finger of whiskey that erodes his rationality just enough to send that Howler to Harry.

    There are a lot of good things going on in this Fic, while the first year is weak, second year has been amazing. Lockheart, Lockheart's research into Narles, wild magic, Draco's character growth, Jim doubts in his role. I could keep listing things, but I'm watching the battery drain away on my phone as I type this. If the author can keep up the quality of the second year and continue it into the third and fourth, I could then see the story working its way into the DPL libraries, but it still has some way to go.
     
  15. Sillyminion

    Sillyminion Squib

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    Jun 16, 2015
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    5
    As far as a guilty pleasure fic goes it hits just about every point you want to read. Sure there are some cringe moments and some ridiculous ideas (Pettigrew is able to out wit Dumbledore but not a 12 year old Harry Potter) but it's well written and updates on a consistent schedule.

    Pacing can be an issue but as long as accept the fact that it's not filled with original concepts (though it does have a few so far) it's a good 4/5.
     
  16. KingRoger

    KingRoger Second Year

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    Jun 16, 2012
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    Australia
    Every time a spell is cast, it's typed in capitals, bold, AND italics. Are they screaming every time they levitate a feather?
     
  17. bob eddy

    bob eddy First Year

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    I don't know. All I know is that it's dark, wet, a
    The second year is defiantly better than the first. I would say moving from a guilty pleasure to a good fic. 3.5/5 rounded up to 4/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2016
  18. trollolol

    trollolol Third Year

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    103
    If you force yourself to ignore the ridiculous plot devices used to create this particular AU, it can be very enjoyable largely because of very interesting characterizations and somewhat original ideas.

    Also this story is best enjoyed by skipping whole segments of endless useless paragraphs that are neither interesting nor add anything to the story. All quite damning, but still, I kept reading and somewhat liked it.

    3.5/5, very much almost recommended, but not Library quality for very very obvious reasons.

    Given the dire state of HP fanfiction in 2016, I was glad to read it.
     
  19. KingRoger

    KingRoger Second Year

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    After trudging through first year, I can officially say that second year is much better. There are still glaring issues with use of bold and italics for weird reasons, and the cliche "introduction of a concept just to make wizards look stupid", but Lockhart is fascinating, and everyone speaks significantly less like they have a rod up their collective ass.
     
  20. Sage_LFC

    Sage_LFC Squib

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    I've been reading this as it updates and is definitely the type of story I enjoy. I'm a big fan of Slytherin!Harry and this is a good addition to that group of fics. It's by no means perfect, but a very enjoyable read that I'd give a 4/5.

    As has been mentioned by a lot of posters already, there are original takes on Lockhart and Pettigrew in this story that are thoroughly enjoyable. Pettigrew has flourished since graduating from bumbling tag-a-long to wizarding lawyer, and is portrayed as far more cunning than anyone usually gives him credit for. Lockhart on the other hand explains away the faults in his books through censorship of what actually happened in his adventures, and his research groups are a novel way to throw something new into the Hogwarts syllabus.

    There were some problems I had originally which are common in poor quality WBWL fics. First, that Harry was abandoned by his parents, and secondly that the sibling who everyone believes to be the saviour is laughably weak in comparison to the true hero. While I'm not entirely convinced about how the first point is being resolved, a combination of Dumbledore's machinations and a prophecy passed through the Potter family leave me willing to wait before judging it. As to the second, this was resolved in the latest chapters where Harry actually finds himself losing a dual to his acclaimed brother.

    The Slytherin house parts of the story, along with the legal battle about Harry's inheritance keep the fic politically intriguing. There's real growth in Jim and Draco as characters, and with the prologue showing Sirius as Harry's guardian and in direct opposition to James, I'm really interested in seeing where this story is going.
     
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