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WIP Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin By The Sinister Man - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by iamnotreal, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Sataniel

    Sataniel High Inquisitor

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    It fits what horcrux-Riddle shows about his personality. What exactly would be his plan we might only speculate. He might've initially wanted to frame Abraxas, get a foothold with muggleborns displeased in current situation, both at once, or maybe something else. Nothing really points to any goodwill at his part.
     
  2. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Except what Myrtle says: "He changed so much after that". I'm not sure what to make of this quote and that's why I'm not willing to let the thought that Riddle might've had honourable goals initially down entirely.
    However, you're right, it is improbable.
     
  3. Sataniel

    Sataniel High Inquisitor

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    And it turns out that you were right.
    And I'm disappointed with this instant transformation. I'm beginning to worry about third part. Especially with rememberball around.
     
  4. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    In general the last three chapters felt weaker than what he did before. This chapter here was basically a canon rehash which I found disappointing. However, there are subjects mentioned Harry and Dumbledore can have interesting conversations on. Apart from that, we're still four chapters away from the end of year two?
    Given his current update length, that makes 40,000 words. Maybe the Lockhart mystery gets finally explained.

    And while I appreciate humour in every fanfiction and I have so far liked his humour, Harry's casual attitude towards Jim apparently dying was simply unrealistic and sociopath-y. Apart from that, it completely destroyed any dramatic tension this moment could've had.

    EDIT: All criticism aside, I really liked Jim's conversation with the hat.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2016
  5. JErosion

    JErosion DA Member

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    I think the Lockhart Mystery will come back much later, as is there is a multitude of unresolved plot points that probably wont be even addressed in the next 4 chapters.

    Harry has to find Hufflepuff's Ewer and get everybody unpetrified
    There is the issue of where the Diary came from, however im more inclined to think Mrs Malfoy was the one to plant it rather than this version of her Husband.
    And the attempts on Harry's life, both by Pettigrew and by Narcissa's Elf.
     
  6. Absolutista

    Absolutista Fifth Year

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    I am really disappointed with the latest chapter. Even called it. This story is fun to read but some things are really bothersome.

    Turns out Riddle really was a nice guy. Having made a muggleborn network, he was petrifying muggleborns to frame Abraxas and purebloods in general. Myrtle was his friend and adored him, by mistake, caught the eyes of the basilisk, fell (because midstep) and died to a head injury. It seems odd to me that a petrified person could be injured this badly. I'd expect to seen more deaths if that was so.

    In any case, Tom can't handle muh guilt, decides to flip a switch using occlumency and becomes a sociopath, unable to feel attachment to others so he won't feel the pain of loss and even guilt if he thinks it's his fault. Voldemort is born.

    Blaming the horcruxes for his insanity would be a better approach, and this is not a good thing.
     
    Last edited: May 3, 2016
  7. plutoplex

    plutoplex Squib

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    I'm not sure it's necessarily a bad thing, since it was pretty heavily foreshadowed in earlier chapters. Unlike the normal horcrux explanation, it explains sociopathy without actual psychosis. Also, the treatment of characters who were very flat in canon (Pettigrew, Lockhart, etc.), that I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that Voldemort won't be as evil-because-evil as he was in canon.
     
  8. Nadassar

    Nadassar Squib

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    Plus it actually makes occlumency actually seem risky and dangerous, rather than the normal -building shields around your mind version- and explains why it isn't taught widely despite the numerous advantages it gives you. Screwing with your own mind should carry consequences.
    Like the story itself the writing is good enough, that I'm willing to give him the benefit of doubt. It helps, that I haven't read this explanation for Riddle's actions during the first opening of the Chamber before and it makes Tom look like the clever charismatic charmer people claimed he were, but we never saw in action.
    The plan is clever without being overcomplicated (which is how many authors try to portray their character's intelligence) and was flexible enough to have a chance of working.
     
  9. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    I cannot help but agree with both of you. Took some time to get used to, but why not, after all? He also made his Lockhart work.
     
  10. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    His solution for Lockhart is indeed very well done. But what I liked most about this chapter was definitely his Dumbledore.
    "To be perfectly honest, I have long thought that "for the Greater Good" were the four most dangerous words in the English language as there is almost no crime they cannot excuse when used by one who believes his cause is just."
    I believe this to be spot on and it's something I've almost never seen anyone's Dumbledore say.
    I'm definitely excited for his third year.

    If I had to judge the second year alone (and I think we've reached a point where I can do that) the story would be 4,5/5, 1/2 point only deducted for minor things like Harry's occasionally too smart behaviour, the James-bashing that was apparent at some times and the slight stretching of the plot towards the end.
    It's well written, it subverts many commonly known tropes, it has humour, the protagonist is interesting and far from perfect and, most importantly, its plot is well thought-out and thoroughly captivating.
     
  11. Sataniel

    Sataniel High Inquisitor

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    So my suspicions about identity of Lockhart were right after all.
     
  12. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Indeed, you actually did even mention the metamorphmagus ability. And it turns out your red herring sense was right to tingle after all.
     
  13. Sataniel

    Sataniel High Inquisitor

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    But how the hell I didn't get Lazarus White. It's so obvious in hindsight, but I didn't even pause to think about the name.
     
  14. JErosion

    JErosion DA Member

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    Ugh, This story and it's cliffhangers. But the author has done a lot to tie up things such as "Harry's too smart behavoir" with Luna's ability, hinting at why a boy who has never read any Oscar Wilde can recognize and quote him. Although it would be interesting if Luna saw some Astral creature perched on James Potter's shoulder that's sucking all the common sense out of him.
     
  15. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

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    Alright, I'm changing my rating to a 5/5. The good parts of this story have long outweighed the bad. I've never really changed a negative opinion of a story this far into it (usually because I stop reading earlier on), but I can honestly say this goes above and beyond the average fanfiction, and manages to use cliches in creative and intelligent ways.

    The early chapters are still poorly written (and Harry's interactions with Dumbledore, Jim, and James seem outright odd when his more recent interactions with them have been taken into account) and I hope that the author revises them at some point - but it's well worth the read, and has managed to keep me intrigued for a long time now.
     
  16. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Yeah, the new chapter might be just a little bit melodramatic at times (although I myself don't think so). Yes, it might be a little bit too long (although I believe its length to be entirely justified).

    But damn it, this was a masterpiece. One of the very rare moments where you are glued to the screen despite knowing what's about to come.

    This is perhaps the story in the "Almost Recommended" section which would deserve most to be in the library. Oh, and I'm changing my rating to 5/5. Simply to improve the average rating.
     
  17. sildet

    sildet Sixth Year

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    This last chapter was a great standalone chapter arc for Regulus. I loved it. So tragic.
     
  18. Legend3381

    Legend3381 Seventh Year

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    I like the story and concept but, wbwl fics get really good in the later hogwart years. The story is really long for just the second year and I think the author is trying to incorporate to much in just Harry's second year
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    How the bloody hell did I miss this fic? ...I ask that, but the name, the summary, and a few comments make me realize why I probably never bothered.

    Easy 4/5

    I didn't think I'd find another fic at the 250k+ mark that would capture my interest ever again. I thought I'd read all the ones that are out there, and I thought I'd catch all the upcoming ones before they got this long.

    So some replies and then some comments.

    First, @Dicra - *fistbump* bro for championing this fic as well as you did. You didn't go overboard, ignore the many issues it has, or get defensive.

    That said, I don't blame people for rating or commenting without reading all of it. I never rate things that I don't give a fair shot to, but if I read 10k words or a couple of chapters? I figure that's enough of a time investment that it should have made an impression.

    So I'd chill a bit on giving people a hard time for not reading at least 30 chapters. It shouldn't take that long to get good. Personally I was interested a lot earlier than that.

    It's an AU, not a simple canon divergence. There are a lot of things in this fic with no foundation in canon, and some of those things are the best parts. Granted this particular part was meh, and even with all the explanations I never quite got on board with how things with Harry played out. But it wasn't as bad as you made it out to be, even if the explanations were given so late in the fic that I'm not surprised many people never got that far.

    This is personal preference. I vastly prefer stories that spend time prior to 5th year, because for me... it's 5th year where stories usually get boring. It's the same time I lost interest in canon. There's usually an upswing in romance (blargh) and teenage drama and bad 'indy' tropes.

    But I'm biased because in general I enjoy reading about kids (not older teens) dealing with real issues.

    @Narf - I liked it a lot too buddy, cheers.

    I agree with most of what you said. A lot of the tired cliches do end up being explained. Though in some cases, even with the explanation, I think the story would be better off having done them differently.

    But the thing you said that I agree with the most is that... it's nice how different everyone is. How everyone has their own plot line and feels like their own character. There's not a lot of pure black/white, but unlike most stories that do that this one also isn't grim.

    That said, even if the characters are done well... some of them still make me roll my eyes in a way that can't quite get past my suspension of disbelief.

    I found the story because Dicra linked me to Chapter 50 in this thread. I liked what I read and I immediately went back and started Chapter 1... which, yeah, was a lot weaker. But I knew it'd get a lot better, and it did.

    I think the best things in this story are where the author took something from canon and twisted it around a bit.

    Providing reasons to discriminate against werewolves without approving doing so, giving a reason why 'free' elves are dangerous, playing around with concepts like esoteric spells and wild magic, etc.

    I think the worst parts are bits that were added wholesale... and the worst culprit is actually the Prince of Slytherin concept.

    If there was going to be another room hidden by Salazar sitting around, then I'd like to have seen more out of the other Founders as well. Barring that, the room... it's just, pointless and plot oriented. A magic hidden room that keeps everyone from talking about what goes on in it! No. Everyone associated with the room and the Prince could have been handled in a less cliche / stupid manner.

    Other things as well.

    TL;DR - This story and Forging the Sword are the two stories I've read that come closest do doing what I eventually want to do with a story. There's a lot of material here and it ticks off a lot of boxes for what I personally like and want to read even if it has a lot of areas where it could improve.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2016
  20. Dicra

    Dicra Groundskeeper

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    Malfoy seems to be a good guy in this, and I'm interested in what other "ambitions" Regulus might've had.

    Ron planning to kill himself was ok after what he's been through, actually going through with it ... don't know what to think about that. I mean, he's twelve after all. Though I had to laugh at the end of the chapter.

    Apart from that, not really an outstanding chapter, but it does what it's supposed to do and there are lots of interesting details in here.
    Additionally, year 2 seems about to end next week or the week after.
     
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