Merged with the first thread.

 

So... after reading that and thinking "Hm. I know that I have a friend who I have absolute trust in..." Then I looked at the author and nearly shat myself.

Anyway, I've picked up the story again today and I do like it. It's entertaining me. The progression of Harry learning knowledge is a bit fast, but then again it seems to suit the pace of the story.

I'm hoping for further updates.

 

Story has been updated. Fairly good, though warning, Hermione is a bit of a bitch.

 

For most of this story, the only thought is "WTF is going on?"

Things are written quite awkwardly at times (example: the entirety of the wedding and Harry getting Veritaserum)

And arguments between characters, most notably, jump out of nowhere every single time. Mostly involving Nutso!Hermione. Seriously, that's a crazy bitch - if I was Harry, banging her would be last on my list.

Even so, I was able to finish it, so I'll give it a 3/5.

 

Update again.

And note (read: kmfrank) that it's the new version that's been updated, and not the old version.

Spoiler: Harry killz. 4.5/5

 

I read to the end of the first chapter and reviewed it out of courtesy, but couldn't reach the end of the second.

The start is uninspired, spurning originality and a hook to keep reading in favor of a not-very-funny joke.

I won't condemn the story because of it, but that puts pressure on the writing itself, which is lacking.

The description/imagery is terrible.

The commonplace 'rain is falling' opening has been done hundreds of times in fanfics, and this is, without the slightest exaggeration, one of the worst I've seen. This occurs at the beginning of the first chapter, which confuses me because people often write that to show off their skills at weaving imagery.

The story was better off without it.

Normally I would harp on the lack of description, but after reading that paragraph, I'm more likely to thank the author for not writing more.

Then there's Hermione, nearly more grating than the writing. By chapter two Hermione begins to resemble Hermione in Deathly Hallows, except it's worse.

She not only knows the spells that Ron and Harry don't, but Harry admires her and acknowledges she's better than him. To which I say: no.

No interest value either. Fics don't have to start with action. Intrigue or plot development would make great substitutes, not low-level interaction with the Dursleys and with Harry-Hermione-Ron written in a bland writing style.

There's canon-friendly, then there's when I question whether the author actually wants an audience.

Argh, and Harry crying over Ginny. Ron's spiel on the Weasley temper was infuriating, then Harry's outburst just fell flat.

2/5. It's readable, but that's the most that can be said for it.

Edit: LOL, I was concerned I had unfairly ranted against the story because I was reading the old-version, but nope, I got the rewrite and it still sucks.

 

Lolwut? This isn't a bad story - definitely not meriting placement in the Recycling Bin.

I'll agree with Andri - the intro bordered on nonsense, but the rest is solid. Decent-sized chapters, reasonable pacing, and pretty good characterization. Hermione is more talented than Harry so far, so arguing otherwise is just silly, I'm sorry Andro. That being said, I expect the reaming he got from Dumbledore's portrait (whose characterization I really liked) and the memory chest will tip the scales in his favor soon enough.

Overall, 3/5, with hopes that updates are qucker.

EDIT: Whoops...I was thinking 3 was the minimum. Oh well.

 

The writing is sub-par, the plot is, well, unambitious, and the author keeps sneaking these stupid moments in there. I'm not convinced it's not an outright bad story.

Ron insisting that Ginny will force herself on Harry was just awkward and stilted.

Hermione being more talented I won't argue with, but don't make Harry acknowledge that someone who couldn't even fight for her own life is better than him.

The only reason Harry is going to kill Voldemort and not Hermione is because of the prophecy.

Just not worth the time spent reading it, whether it's a bad story or just an average one.