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WIP Harry Potter and the Unlocked Knowledge by kmfrank - T

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by kmfrank, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    You need to start updating...I saw another Harry get's voldemort's memory fic today. No, it isn't DLP worthy though it is still only 2 chapter's in. But I'm gonna take a guess and say it is crap. (My most hated author you see, know him from Naruto fanfiction. The guy that put me off timetravel Naruto)
     
  2. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    Interesting read if a little forced in places. I'll give it a 4/5 for now.
     
  3. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Has anyone else noticed all the decent writers have hidden themselves away?
    And vice versa all the fangirls have come out in force?
    *Sigh* At least the story makes for a refreshing read.
     
  4. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    It is because most writers have exams that they need to focus on. The fangirls have no life beyond being sluts so they don't need to study.
     
  5. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    Fan-girls are sluts? I thought they just sat around watching gay porn and using vibrators? You're inferring that fan-girls have a life and I have to disagree. How else would they manage to get 4 chapters of absolute crap out a day?
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2008
  6. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Shit. My GCSE's.
    Meh.
     
  7. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Hello all. Just letting you know that I'm still alive, in case there were any inquiries. Like many, I had school and exams take a place above writing, unfortunately, and since then I've been regrettably uninspired. I've tried, but have succeeded in writing nothing but fail for the chapter. I'll eventually soldier through it and continue, though, as this "middle" part is just sticking a bit, and I have loads of plans where to do after I get through it, including at least one sequel.

    In the meanwhile, I have started another story - its a time-travel story that's only one chapter right now. Its posted on ff.net, so feel free to read and let me know what you all think of the start I have.

    Harry Potter and the Alchemist's Apprentice

    Cheers,
    Kevin
     
  8. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    The GCSE's were easy. A-levels is where things start to get hard.
     
  9. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I updated the story yesterday.

    I've gotten some positive reviews, but this chapter was quite difficult for me to write, so I'd like to hear what the critics here have to say.

    Cheers,
    Kevin
     
  10. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

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    A solid chapter, but then again, all your chapters are. Your style, with gradual development of plot and characters, means your stories are much better when seen as a whole, then when analysed chapter by chapter.

    One thing I disliked is your tendency to spice up the plot with random action scenes. This is like the third pointless death eater attack, which main purpose seems to be to give Harry an opportunity to show off and improve his skills. IMO both Death Eaters and Harry should have a bit stronger agendas than that - Death Eaters should try to actually achieve something with their raids and Harry should find a way to practise duelling against real opponents instead of wasting time with children.
     
  11. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Hmm, pointless Death Eater attacks? I understand what you mean in that there is little preface to them, but are there ever indications of terrorist attacks?

    In this one, I think it was far from pointless in that an important witness was there, even if he might not remember it, in Professor Flitwick...

    Glad you liked the chapter, and I appreciate your analysis of my writing style, which I agree with.

    Thanks as always, ip,

    Kevin
     
  12. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    It was an excellent update. I got the alert last night, read the chapter, and then re-read the entire story. My rating is now 4.5/5
     
  13. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Just letting everyone know that I posted both of my stories up on PatronusCharm. Thanks to Raven for putting such a great site together - sure kicks the shit out of FFN!

    Updates will follow, please be patient as I've gotten distracted by The Dresden Files but am finished now.
     
  14. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Chapter 14 updated on PC and FFN.

    It's not the most exciting chapter, I don't think, but the timeline gets progressed a bit and some important plot points are furthered. Let me know what you think!

    Kevin
     
  15. Mirkwood

    Mirkwood Seventh Year

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    I enjoyed this chapter, but why-oh-why didn't you let Ron die, I couldn't stand the Ron-loves-Romilda Vane part, I hated it in HBP and I didn't like it in this.

    I liked everything else though, very good story.
     
  16. Twisted

    Twisted Guest

    Progressing solidly, I've always been a fan of this fic. The Katie romance is a decent addition to the story and you had me think "Where is Katie?" when he was neglecting her XD.

    Perhaps a bit more HBP deviation is needed, but I'm still enjoying it.
     
  17. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Ha, glad you noticed that I was intentionally ignoring Katie for awhile. I hate those stories where there are these "perfect" romances. I've actually had a relationship or two in my time, so I know that, generally, the first ones you have don't work out, and you make mistakes. Even with Tom, who knows how to seduce 'em, in his head, Harry makes mistakes. Fallability is always attractive to me as a reader, as it makes characters more real.

    Anyway, here's a review I got, that I'd like to share with you to discuss. What I think happened here was that he saw Grawp at the end of the story and thought that it was too much like Hack from jbern's Bungle. Note: that entire scene was in preparation for one other, possibly two, and Grawp will not be a companion to Harry on a long journey involving banging trolls or something.

    No offense, jbern, but then you probably wouldn't want me copying you anyway.

    Anyway, the reviewer isn't totally off the ball, as I definitely consider my Alchemist's Apprentice story to be creatively superior to this one.

    Here's the review:
    "*ing hell, do you seriously have to rip off every *ing thing that was any
    good in every *ing good story on FFN?
    Seriously, every single feature here is ripped off from something? Did you
    even ask for permission from JBern or LordDWar?"

    Validity? Feel free to candidly discuss.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2008
  18. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

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    Well you did take parts from other well known fics, but its your story through and through. Like it was said earlier you have stuff that is generally the makings of a fail!fic but have taken a slightly different angle on it that makes it refreshing and not a total ripoff. Quite frankly the Grawp in your story did not strike me as being very much like Hack from Bungle at all. Having a large creature that likes to fight is not exactly a c&p of a character...

    So as an after thought to all that...

    Update moar naow !!!!1!! ;)
     
  19. SilverOtter

    SilverOtter Seventh Year

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    This fic has been abandoned for about 3 years, any chance of revival?
     
  20. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.
     
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