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WIP Harry Potter and the Untitled Tome by Ihateseatbelts- T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Puzzled, Sep 6, 2015.

  1. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2009
    Messages:
    1,544
    Location:
    UK
    High Score:
    2,296
    I started reading this a few weeks ago, but couldn't quite get into it; something about the first couple of chapters didn't quite sit right with me. Having pushed through though, I think there's a lot to admire, largely in the world building details and quality of writing (I don't necessarily like everything, like the fact that only some 'witchfolk' are able to use wands, but it's just one of many interesting ideas that make up something rather impressive). I'm reminded a little of PotDK.

    I do feel it's a little sluggish, given that we're 23 chapters in and only just beginning to get an idea of what the plot might be (I'm also aware that some of 'Hallowed's readers would accuse me of rank hypocrisy for that comment, but never mind!), but on the whole this is a pretty impressive piece of work so far.
     
  2. Researcher

    Researcher Second Year

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2015
    Messages:
    69
    Location:
    Sweden
    High Score:
    0
    The story comes with some fresh ideas, something that's quite rare nowadays. Some are good, some are less better... But it's new thinking, which I appreciate very much.

    The story is quite sluggish, and it would be more enjoyable to have faster pace. But the fact that the story gets regular updates quite often make up for some of it.

    3.5/5
     
  3. Anarchy

    Anarchy Totally Sirius DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    3,472
    Location:
    NJ
    This story is pretty good. One of my favorite types of fic are those that go into depth with the magical world. This is one of those stories that essentially just takes cliches and "does them proper". That is to say, use them in new ways, while being well-written. That sort of thing has been a DLP mainstay for years.

    However, being a new take on tired ideas and well-written doesn't make them interesting or enjoyable to read about. It seems like there's a lot of changes for the sake of changes (and not usually for the better), and then you have things like that power level thing, which no matter how well-written or thought out it is, it's still ridiculous and stupid, and not really enjoyable to read about. And then you have Harry's power ugprades, such as wandless magic - "controlled accidental magic", which combined with the ridiculous power level stuff makes it into a Harry-wank story where everyone gushes over his prodigal like power. The author tries to curb it by arbitrarily putting in a plot where Harry accidently messes up a point (by doing an extra half-stir, really...) but it falls quite flat.

    Don't get me wrong, I like the story a lot, but a lot of the times it's just so dull and boring, so much so that I have to take frequent breaks from reading it. A lot of the extraneous "world-building" is just a chore to read through, and I feel a bit disconnected from what the author is writing and what the words are dictating I should be feeling.

    Anyways, I give this a 4/5. It's just a new take on the same old stuff, but done in a complete package rather than the pick-and-choose style that plagues FFN. Still, I couldn't help but feel this story could be better if it was a bit more streamlined - a Diagon alley shopping scene with obligatory goblins and vault accounting is still exactly that, no matter how it is dressed up.
     
  4. Ennead

    Ennead Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    200
    It's certainly an ambitious fic. The world building and magic system seems solid (though with distinct similarities to PotDK) despite what little we've actually seen of it. Harry's just entered year 2, iirc, so that's understandable.

    What I can't forgive is that the character interactions in this story are completely shallow. New characters flit into and out of Harry's life with little impact on either him or the reader. We're told that Harry gets along with his dorm/classmates but none of them are what I would call his friends. Does he even spend any of his free time with them or does he just skulk around in some corner writing in his diary? It's not even that Hermione or Neville lack characterization...it's just that the fic shifts into their POV to accomplish this; Harry himself expends little to no effort at all to relate to them, making every relationship he forms one-sided.

    I also find it hard to pinpoint Harry's motivations as well. At one point I thought he wanted to go back to his orphanage to see if they still remembered him...then he wants to figure out who his parents were...suddenly he turns into a mystery solving duo with Hermione? If anything, the writing is good. It's just a bit all over the place.
     
  5. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2006
    Messages:
    432
    Harry Potter and the Untitled Tome has been updated with a new chapter.

    Story Stats
    Chapters: 28
    Words: 219,819
    Updated: 2018-10-14 16:52:33 UTC
    Published: 2014-03-23 12:42:37 UTC
    Previously updated: 11 months ago
    New Summary:
    The Battle of Nurmengard ended in a stalemate. Half a century later, Harry Potter feels adrift in a world teeming with millions of fantastic folk, until one book leads him on the path to discovering his ill-fated parents' efforts to conceal a most dangerous magical secret. In the meantime, Chief-wizard Malfoy has his eyes set on Hogwarts, and only Sir Albus stands in his way.

    Brought to you by Scryer story thread updates.
     
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