Title: Harry Potter and the Vampire Slayer
Author: hammerathogwarts
Rating: T
Genre: Supernatural/Romance
DLP Category: The Alternates
Status: WIP, 8 chapters, 45,000 words, weekly updates
Summary: AU after Ootp and set in Season 3 of BTVS. During the final battle with Voldemort, a seventeen year old Harry Potter is thrown into the Slayer dimension due to some unstable magic. There, Harry must accept that the fight against darkness will never be over.

Good Harry/Buffy crossover. The author has done a good job of avoiding making Harry too powerful, characterizations of everybody are good, solid if unspectacular writing. It starts as a slight retread of Buffy season 3 with Harry slotted into the story, but is now starting to branch off in its own direction. Solid 4/5 in my opinion, maybe a 5/5 in the not so distant future.

 

This made me think of a certain senator of California.

This made me chuckle.

And this made me question Voldemort's logic.

The story is decent. Decent, decent, decent. The author writes nearly flawlessly, until he/she/it suddenly drops one mother of a spelling error. That gets old pretty quickly.

The rest is alright, if not seen before.

3/5

 

Eh. Not bad, but nothing special. Several spelling errors bugged the hell out of me as well. 3/5

 

Some slight problems with tenses in the beginning here
-Winces-
Make that word usage in general

Two of the more obvious ones:

should be 'Dove' and 'Spun' respectively.

Seems to have a thing for characters casting a 'Strong gold shield' too. And I love how voldimorts magic is 'Darker and more powerful' than everyone else's.

Likes having Harry's name in every other sentence.

The aforementioned 'AVADA KERDAVA'

MuggleFighter!Harry wins. End chapter 1

Dunno guys, this is looking aweful 2-ish to me. I'll give it another chapter...

Edit:

Chapter 2:
Harry Appears in a bolt of lightning out of bright red storm clouds, and Giles decides to investigate on his own... and as a side thought grabs a Stake and some holy water just in case...

Aaaannnd Harry breaks a set of chains bolted to a stone wall without using active magic.

Sorry, Suspension of disbelief has been bent to the breaking point and snapped.

2/5

Could be a 3-3.5ish with a good beta, but as it is, no dice.

 

Dear lord no. 1/5 =[

Seriously, did this person type in notepad or something? Pretty much EVERY word processor comes with a spell check.

 

Huh, just read this.

So far - it's readable, but not good. It's like the author emphasized solely Apocolypse Thou's semi-bad habits of making Harry overpowered and following canon religiously (I do like Apocolypse Thou's stories though) and threw in a really shitty cryptic OC named Koas. Seriously, in the Ascension of Ra Harry can throw lightening, here he can throw fire. Oh, he's also some kick ass male slayer apparently in this story.

Actually Koas kind of ruined it for me. If you're going to have an uber-powered OC who is cryptic as hell, don't make me think that you were trying to be cool by misspelling "chaos" "Kaos" and you simply had a typo.

2/5.

 

Coincidence? There are a few other parts that seem suspiciously similar...but nothing I could really start accusing the author over.

Besides, both of these fics suck.

 

I'm not sure I can stomach reading a *worse* version of Slayer dimension, as the setup and timelines are near identical iirc. If I get truly desperate I might read this later. Male slayers named Kaos sound like super!fail though.

 

I've made everyone suspicious. The Red Scare: DLP style.

The story sucks, tbh. I wouldn't even put it in the recycling bin.

1/5

 

Quote for Truth.

I give a 2/5. It was alright, but nothing I'll even lightly follow. The bigger spelling errors got in the way, and the ignorance of proper tense put my teeth on edge.

Still though, to mirror some other folks, a good beta could probably bring this up to a 3... perhaps even a 4 with a good amount of hard work and toil.

 

Yeah I went back and reread some of the errors you guys pointed out and realized that it isn't as good as I thought, and I probably overrated it because of the fact that it is a readable/nonslash BTVS/HP crossover.

 

Kinda a guilty pleasure at best, regrettably like all the half-decent HP/BTVS crossovers. It's readable and I'll read the new chapters when the alerts come up, but I don't really think it's library material.

 

Generous, since this ape can barely string two sentences together without fucking one of them up, usually multiple times.

Mother fucker... No concept of you're/your for the lose. Should I even give the author credit for the 'cunning strategy' of ALWAYS using "you're" so that he's 'right' at least some of the time?

Which raises the question, "In how many ways does hammerathogwarts resemble a broken clock?"

1. It's only right occasionally.
2. It was probably dropped once or twice when it was new.
3. It belongs in the trash.
4. You shouldn't rely on it for accurate readings.
5. Should it wake me when I'm in a foul mood, I wouldn't feel that bad about savaging it with a bat.
6. The only sure way to stop it from misleading people who aren't already certain of what's correct, is to break off its hands.

[Hey, litigious douchebags, I don't condone the ass-whupping and dismemberment of stupid authors IRL, just for being ill-educated morons, but the thought does make me grin. There, I've got all the legal bases covered; back to the show.]

'nuff said.

What the hell is a "magic Tom?" is it the same thing as the "useless Remus" that was mentioned earlier? Learn to use a fucking comma.
Incidentally, it is now officially correct to use either "Are you stupid, hammerathogwarts?" OR "Are you stupid hammerathogwarts?"

The only difference is that the first question gets asked before you read the first chapter, and the second question-

Well, you get the point.

Note: I totally endorse referring to Remus Lupin as 'Useless Remus', but only if you're consciously aware that's what you're doing.

Was it big and huge too? Maybe it was massive and gigantic. Why do I get the sneaking suspicion this story was written out on the same wide-ruled paper that kindergartners use to practice writing the alphabet?

Lightning, you thunder-cunt.

And even I had to report you to the Department of Redundancy Department, even.

There are more and much better examples of redundancy in this story, but listing them would be-

Aw, you know...

Would it be nitpicking to point out that if you have a dominatrix fetish, you probably aren't a dominatrix? Either way, "dominatrix" should be "dominance and submission."

Were this coming from a competent... anything(!), I'd give the author the benefit of the doubt and assume that, since it's Harry's thoughts we're reading, he just doesn't acknowledge the distinction. But this writer is a mook, and doesn't get the benefit of anything from me.

I realize that when people come up with a plot that involves Harry traveling to a different world/reality/time, that what happens once he gets there is the focus, not how he gets there, but this is just about the flimsiest plot device EVER!

It's not even because of what Voldemort does (which causes Harry's relocation), though one certainly wonders why he didn't use this 'blood magic' spell before, if it were so all-fired powerful, it's what Harry does to defeat him.

"Oh, that? It blocks all magic and muggles created it."

Really? How about a bit more info. Which muggles, where? How did they even know about magic? What witch or wizard allowed these muggles to study them long enough to come up with this, and how did Harry get a hold of it?

And just what is going to happen to the Wizarding World once those 'hundred muggle SAS officers' get through? Odds are that the Statute of Secrecy is well and truly fucked + device that cancels magic = end of magic, wizards and witches enslaved/imprisoned/executed?

Nice job breaking it, hero?

Oh, right... doesn't matter; pay no attention to the wanker behind the curtain. We've got a plot to ram through here.

And if it cancels magic, why didn't it snuff out that 'ball of magic' that Voldemort created? Oh, yeah, because then Harry would have missed his ride to the Buffy-verse.

So just what was that ball of magic? Why, it was a massive plot-hole, of course; Harry fell into it, and came out in the Hellmouth (while we just landed in literary hell).

...sometimes I fuckin' hate...

And for some reason, if a person doesn't even properly capitalize their username, I already count that as a strike against them; this is one of those situations where such prejudice proves well and truly justified.

Well, you're damned right about that!

 

If you aren't familiar with the idiosyncrasies of my Grammar Gestapo-ism by now, feel free to peruse my previous posts.

To wit, if I had a 'gash', this kind of writing would make it dry up, not leak.

 

Quoted for truth.

This is the point I was trying to make. You just do a much more complete job of it.

: )

 

The entire time I was reading it I felt like it was a bad story. Other than what's been pointed out, I just felt like the pacing and steps in logic were bad.

Not to mention the "if it were Hermione" argument. Godfuck was that irritating. Hermione, when she's normal, is not evil. Angel, when normal, is Angelus.

Argh stupid logic is stupid.