Title: Harry Potter and the Weapon of Atlantis
Author: Warlord Harrsk
Rating: T
Category: Action/Adventure
Status: WiP
Summary: Harry unleashes an ancient force that was imprisoned within Hogwarts for over a thousand years by the founders of Hogwarts. Now the most powerful magical entity ever to exist, greater than Merlin himself, walks the earth once more.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2307700/1/

Pretty good, has a couple of WTF moments though.

 

A Couple?

The entire Fic was one giant wtf moment.

 

I don't think I'll even bother with this one.

 

The weapon is empowered by the strongest mages of the strongest magical kingdom ever, yet the four founders, possibly above average strength wizards, in a time period where folks lived in straw huts, managed to defeat it and imprision it... yeahhhhh okay.

Harry somehow unexplainably meets the boy in a sudden weird paragraph, and after the confused weapon meets Harry, Harry decks the kid.

-The story is condemned for this line alone:

I'm so sick of this it's not funny.

The writing is very, very rushed, reaching near spaz-matic heights of WTF-ness. I couldn't read it anymore after chapter 5.Up to chapter 4 it was at least close to approaching readable, chapter 5 just goes to crap. The writing is almost all dialogue, so you wind up with piss poor described atmosphere, among other things, heh.

 

very wtf - although i did like the key thinger that ubermaster atlantis guy shoved into Harry... i want one

 

*shrugs* I've read worse stories...a lot worse

 

god this story is the ultimate WTF fic I stopped reading it I hated it

 

i have the same opinion

 

Post

Person to a god overnight in my opinion this story is not worth reading.

 

And....Harry's not even the god...so you have a OCC taking center stage? That's definitely not going to float around here.

 

I quite liked it at first despite its complete WTF-ness, then i gave up in the last few chapters *yawn* "change the record please"

 

Giovanni nailed it in 2005. Atlantis, 700,000 year old wars, supreme beings, god-like little kids, all of it stirred and seasoned in a creamy bouillabaisse of What-The-Fuck.

It's incoherent, and it's only barely a Harry Potter story.

1/5

 

The stories of old in which I have written in times long lost bring back memories of a life when all was perfect in just mind alone.

It has now been four years since I wrote that story, and I must say that I was most surprised to see my story come up in a thread anywhere on the internet after so long. My writing style has changed so much since then that even I raise eyebrows at my former techniques and methods. At the time, I was fascinated with the concept of breaking conventional writing limits to see the "what if I could do this to always solve my problems" limited only by character actions and ulterior motives of the characters alone to drive the story.

Today, while I don't write on Fanfiction anymore (but perhaps in the future), I explore deeper into an individual's mind, their personalities, a much more detailed look into their character in how they became who they are. Influence from people, from information they receive, the answers they form on their own due to these influences, and the end result in adulthood. I was fifteen at the time when I started on the story and thus had absolutely no insight in that so my only option was to formulate works based on a combination of others: primarily the Japanese anime Dragon Ball Z, The Matrix trilogy movies, and even a shallow understanding of The Lord of the Rings trilogy books.

In the time since then, my life has been much more eventful than I would have liked, but the resulting "me" that was produced from that gives life today a much different outlook I had then.

I'd like to take the time to thank all of you to for even taking a fleeting glance at my old story, and would like to say that I just might be inspired enough to complete my unfinished sequel with a much more...developed style of writing.

Oh, I wrote that story when my username was "WarlordHarrsk," a non-canon Star Wars character from the Expanded Universe novel "Darksaber." There was influence from even that . I presently use the screen name Luminous Sun on Fanfiction if there is any confusion to the names.

 

I read this story back in '08, as one of the last stories I found from trawling ffnet. I thought it was 5/5 work back then, and I still have an inkling to what the plot is, so I consider that to be okay. However, whether I now rate it as 3/5 or 4/5 relies on how the writing is.

Before you pointed it out, I didn't realize how Dragon Ball Z-esque the fighting later in this story is. Everyone flies, for one.

 

At this point, I'd consider my own writing skill level of that story at something along the lines of 4 out of 10 on my own scale. There's an awful lot of one liners...

It's interesting that a lot of people didn't pick up on the style of combat I used in the story. I wasn't very fluent at the time in ground based combat so I decided to make it simpler by taking combat off the ground. At age 15, imagination is active...but content lacked quality.

I never intended to write the story as a "Harry Potter" story in the first place. I didn't want to duplicate Rowling's style, but also wanted to go all out to see how much I could put into the story at the time. In retrospect, I probably should have focused more on the characters themselves, although I must admit that just writing about "supreme power" got me rather carried away, a concept quite fascinating at the time. In the years since then, I've given that concept quite some thought that I've even created another character to redefine it. That however is a different story altogether.

I'm also quite surprised to even discover that my story was even brought up anywhere on the internet at all. I expected to see results linking to Fanfiction and nowhere else, and to actually have people comment about it in a capacity other than merely posting reviews was so amusing that I had to register just to talk about it .

My greatest regret about this story though...is that I wrote it before discovering the works of H.P. Lovecraft. That was five years later. Had I read his works prior to writing that story, I would have defined "supreme power" quite differently...

Hm... Now that I'm caught up in this, I think I'll go re-read Lovecraft's works and decide whether or not I'll finish that broken sequel.