Reminds me more of Disney's Tarzan; it's the dreads.

 

I hope there's a montage where I can play "Strangers Like Me" while reading.

Also: awesome artwork is :awesome

 

When I started writing 'The World', I admit that I had been hoping to one day be included in the Library of the infamous Dark Lord Potter forum. But now, having read what many of you have said to this point, I can't help but feel disappointed.

I know my writing style is mediocre at best, the idea behind the story seems vague and simple (even if it's somewhat original), my familiarization with the various characters is weak, and I don't have the touch of a professional author add the proper amount of drama, action, whatever to keep everyone happy. I know my own shortcomings quite well.

That is why I had hoped and looked forward to one day getting on this site. A site where both experienced and inexperienced authors and fans could debate the pros and cons of my story. They could point out what parts they enjoyed, what needs improvements, and (most importantly of all) what mistakes I've made that need correcting.

Instead I find my story to be nothing more than the source of an argument between the people I'd been hoping to help me improve. If my story is only good for causing a people yelling at each other about how the other is so wrong and that they themselves are so right in their views (all without explaining WHY), then I am ashamed of myself for even considering the possibility of getting onto this site.

Unless you guys can stop this pointless pissing contest and begin actually debating the pros and cons, maybe even help me come up with some new ideas to thicken the plot later on, then this forum has truly fallen from being one of the best to just another run-of-the-mill chatroom.

For the record, I'm not focusing this rant on any one person. Nearly all of you share an equal level of blame for this.

 

what a butt, ur a butt

 

To quote DarthBill, a mere 18 posts behind yours:

You need to fall back and recognize, first and foremost, the overwhelmingly positive response your fic has received. That being said, the lack of any real feedback (aside from points for originality) is expected, as this is just not that kind of a story. Honestly, it's like getting into the finer points of what was wrong with The Fast & the Furious: a pointless exercise.

Nobody is going to want to debate the intricacies of making a Harry-with-Allosaurus fic work; people here will most likely sit back and wait (with anticipiation; "overwhelmingly positive response," remember?) for what you can bring to this story. For this kind of story, we just don't do that sort of thing. And the types of reviewers that do give feedback would end up spewing dumb shit, like "Next time, make Allie trample over Ron Weasley, because I hate him and that would be funny hahahAHhahahAHa," or "Make Harry's claw/glove/thingy slash through that Old Coot's Elder Wand, hehehHEhehEHEhehehEHhe," and other such nonsense. So less of the waggy-finger admonishment, and write more; you're doing fine without anybody's help, and any "help" you got, trust me - you wouldn't want it.

But if you want serious feedback, write a serious story. It's that simple.

 

Jeez it's not that hard to get onto this site. You simply register by choosing a username and password, wait for a confirmation email, and then post the story yourself in the Work By Author section with clear cut instructions that you wish to improve things and you want DLP to help you out. Bold letters help.

Despite what Blaise said about positive response, I'm going to stick with the opinion that the story's average with a side of average, and that original ideas are not a free ride to Decent Story Ville.

 

Actually, your fic got plenty of reviews from people who were giving their opinions -- and mentioning, just as you wished, the pros and cons. The possible exception is Averis, who posted several times to answer negative comments, but I don't see what's reprehensible with that; it didn't even have the time to become annoying. Then some UFO barged in and started spitting all over the place. People stomped all over his face, not necessarily because they disagreed, but because he was spitting. Which, as you know, is just bad manners.

And now you're complaining because your fic gets attention, but isn't being analysed as deeply as you desire.

In conclusion, I am tempted to bite you.

Stop derailing your story thread now, you'll be a good boy. Oh, and welcome to DLP.

 

You should be wary. When Tinn bites, it hurts.

 

Ditto this. Granted most of it is firmly ensconced in our opinions, and surrounded with a mild cloud of derision, but if your story is rated three or better by the majority of the people here you're doing quite well.

Keep in mind you're asking the opinions of the arguably most jaded group of Hp fiction enthusiasts on the 'net, our responses are bound to be rather underwhelming.
Most of us don't even bother reviewing anymore unless there is something either massively unique or absolutely atrocious in any given story.

 

Hm, perhaps my previous post did come off a bit harsher sounding than I'd intended. It was late and I'd just gotten off work at the time, so I really wasn't thinking too deeply at the time. I do apologise about that, I am sorry. And I am aware that many people seem to enjoy the story, it's kinda hard to miss the 200+ reviews of 'Great story!' and 'Update soon!' after all.

I guess what I was looking for was perhaps just some new ideas to consider for what could happen in the future of the story. I know that many people will likely post the same or similar crap as the 'cut the Elder Wand' or 'trample Ron'. I know when and where to draw the line in that matter, no matter how appealing some of them might be. But there's always the chance that someone out there will offer up something that could drastically alter the story for the better.

As it stands now, I (and likely you all) know what's going to happen in the first arc fairly well, even if we don't know exactly how it will come to pass. I have a tentative plan for what could happen after this first arc, but any new ideas would be a real blessing at this point. Especially since I'm still laying the foundations for the tower at the moment.

So, would anybody be willing to help me here? Or would you rather just take the 'wait and see' approach?

 

To put it bluntly, your story, you write it. We aren't here to tell you what to write, and how to write it. We critique what people write, ie, REVIEW it.

IF, and only IF, you are an author of high calibre, we go beyond this and make suggestions, and do everything we can to help improve a fic. Take Shezza or Joe for example. Even so, this is actually done in the WBA forum, not the "For REVIEW" section.

Either way, I personally thought that my criticism of this fic is completely valid, and am rather disappointed that you are simply writing it off as part of a "pissing contest".

So frankly, fuck you. We provide what we provide, if you don't like it, get the hell off our forum.

 

Thank you, Xiph0. That is more or less what I was trying to say at the beginning.

And my 'request' still stands for anyone who wants to donate ideas. An author should always be willing to explore new ideas and opinions, especially from his fans. If s/he doesn't, how does s/he know if s/he's doing a good job or not? Am I wrong?

 

In spite of what Ellisande says, we try to help everyone, if the story shows work and promise. Just not in For Review. If you want input, you have to post in WbA.

 

Oh, I see. I'm still new to this site, so I apologise about bugging you like this. Thank you for pointing that out to me, World.

 

Yeah, I kind of liked this story. Not epic, but it's readable and I'm anticipating the next chapter. 3/5 for the story, 1/5 for the fanart. Brown haired Harry. Seriously?

 

I'm still in the "could go either way" phase with this story. Interesting, yes. Different, definitely. Can the author continue to make this story a worthwhile read? We'll see. For now though, it's a solid 3.5/5 for me.

And as for the author, as a site, we tend to sit back and wait for a fic to get well beyond a mere 35k words. Every vocal member of this site has been disappointed over and over by a fic that starts out with a new idea, a new twist, or a really kick-ass writing style. The fic is either never finished, (*cough* Vash *cough*) the author pulls it into either a slash-fest or some other retarded relationshipey direction that involves no build-up and very little, if any, characterization that continues the entertainment value, or (as in the case of Meghan) writes a story through to the final chapter and then FUCKING NUKES THE SHIT out of a fic that could have been one of the greats.

So excuse me if I take this particular stance about your fic. Your idea is interesting but a one trick pony is still a one trick pony and I like variety.

And while we're on the subject, look through the trashbin sometime. A 3 will get you into the library, a place that generally only houses the best of the HP fanfiction world. Take what you've got. We're jaded, we're cynical, and most of us are bastards. We're happy with that. If you don't like it, go sign the petition to shut DLP down for being too critical.

 

His writing style is...irritating to say the least. It seems a bit ( I REALLY dont know how to describe it). Its well written and a bit..unique with how it plays with the cliché, but its still confusing. I agree whole heartedly, the annoying creature guessing game was really grating on my nerves as I read it....it has potential I guess, but it needs some work.

3.5/5 for me, nothing more than that, at least until the stupid guessing game stops.

 

Updated. I am pleased with this new chapter, it seems much better than the previous ones. Finally! A change.
As its 6 am and I'm not asleep, I'll come back and review it more thoroughly.

 

Chapter 9 is up