How could we ever forget to add those? *gasps*

QFT.

 

My Summarization card trumps your Thesaurus!

 

Oh where oh where has our little joey gone?

 

Just curious, but why is this an independent story, rather than an AU? Sure, most of the same events happen, but Harry was raised by Remus, is two years older, isn't the Boy Who Lived... That's AU.

 

I'm studying for my exams and writing at the same time - I can tell you that the next chapter will contain:

More on Harry's illness
More on Moody
Madame Maxime
The Second Task (told as it happens)

It'll be rather long . . .
​

 

Can't wait.

 

Ok, I decided to give this story a try, and it's really not half bad. Him playing the guitar in the first chapter was easily skipped over. It's a decently well written story, but a few things bug me:

1. Super!Harry. Don't try to tell me it's not. For Christ's sake he is an animagus, can nonverbal cast, and can cast NEWT level spells in his second year. I'm all for Ravenclaw!Harry and Talented!Harry, but this is easily Super!Harry, which I don't so much enjoy. Common, I doubt even Voldemort and DD were doing NEWT level spells in their second year.

2. The trial scene where they appeal the right to have Remus' bar is laughable and cringe worthy. I don't remember it all to well because I was too busy facepalming.

3. The author tries way too hard to make Harry 'cool'. First it's the guitar, then it's the super abilities, then it's him walking up and molesting Professor Vector in Ch. 11. Yes, I said molest, because kissing someone without their consent is definitely molestation. The thing that bugs me is that this scene is just to show how Harry is heterosexual, and how much of a 'badass' he is. Of course he only gets a week of detention, when if someone pulled something like that in canon (or real life), they would be suspended or facing charges.

4. They (Harry and Archie) know more than they should about sex, and make way too many sex jokes. I knew about sex pretty early in life myself, but I didn't start with the whole sex joke phase until I was like 14. And yet, Harry and Archie here have no qualms about talking and joking about sex in front of adults and fellow students, WHEN THEY ARE FUCKING 12 YEARS OLD. And of course, since Harry is a super badass and can do no wrong, everyone just laughs and goes along with it like it's something you see everyday.

5. They are way too intelligent and worldly for their ages. This is separate from the Super!Harry. So many authors, when they do a 7 year Smart/Intelligent/Slytherin/Ravenclaw!Harry, fall into the fatal trap of having 11 year old kids talk and act like they are adults. This fic is guilty of this on many levels. Even extremely smart kids don't talk and act like they've been doing in this fic. They have way too much confidence, composure, and social skills. No one I knew when I was that young was that awesome when they were 12.

6. The Archie/Stephanie relationship. Jesus, do I need to actually talk about this? This is so Mangarific and animelike that it makes me face palm. Totally unrealistic and unnecessary. I know you have to give the OC's quirks to make them seem like real characters, and the author has done that well, IF IT WAS AN ANIME AND NOT HP. GTFO with this shit.

There are probably a lot more things in this fic that bugs me that I can't remember off hand. I'm going to continue reading it because it's decently well written, but I have a love/hate relationship with it. On one hand it's better than 95% of fics on ff.net and has some original ideas, but it has many, many face palm moments, and things that get me pissed off. The whole fic is basically the author trying to show how cool, awesome, and badass Harry is, which does get tiring. How will Harry one up his last stunt? I'm sure I'll find out, with liberal use of face palm.

 

You're killin' me, Smalls.

 

Yeah, I didn't feel like reading this whole thread, and I felt like posting my thoughts on it. Glad I'm not alone in my criticisms.

 

At least you managed the plow through it, instead of bitching about 'teh failure guitar' in the beginning.

 

Unfortunately, criticism and Joe go together about as well as oil and water. They don't like each other and avoid mixing if possible. Criticism is not something to be taken on board so he can improve his fic, it's something to be defended from.

Oh well. The fic's still pretty good.

 

Whilst this fic does have it's...failings, it is still a fairly good fic.

It gives us a different view of Harry/ Fleur, that's for certain.

I honestly enjoyed this fic because despite it's failings, it's still a good read, got a fairly good plot and doesn't jump right in with Harry mooning over Fleur.

I'd rate this fic...4.5/5. It may seem high but consistent, good, long Harry/ Fleur fics are difficult to find so you may as well savour what's here.

SerpentSannin's works are fairly good and I'm definitely enjoying his Pokemon fic.

Keep it up, SS and update soon!

Regards
Aerin

 

I had wondered where this was... anyway I'll say this. This is a good fanfic in my opinion. I first found it after reading Puppet Master Naruto by the same person and I agree with him on the EPIC!fail that is Itachi's death. But yeah I've been following this for a long time. Although I have one question... why the hell did you rename yourself Fettucini?

4.75/5

 

This fic is getting closer and closer to jumping the shark. The only reason I haven't stopped reading it is that it is decently written, and I have already invested a good amount of time in it, so giving up now would mean that I wasted 5 or 6 hours of my time.

Lets see, as of chapter 17 we have:

1. Harry doing wandless magic while in Azkaban (wandless magic is usually fail, and since Harry is already way overpowered in this fic, it's definitely fail). While it was only one instance and not very important, I bet it will become more prominent later on. After all, the author just can't resist making Harry as powerful and cool as possible.

2. The whole imprisonment scheme of Lucius/Fudge. Fucking fail. Even if Fudge is a complete idiot in canon, I don't believe he is that corrupt. The plan itself was nothing short of complete stupidity, and merely another vehicle for Harry to show how badass and smart he is.

3. Slytherin's Library. FAIL.

4. Archie repeatedly said to be more skilled than Snape in potions. While I don't particularly like Snape as a character, he is brilliant in potions, and I highly doubt a 14 year old could be more skilled than a potions master, even if he was trained in the subject from lets say, oh, 6 or 7 years old.

5. Harry getting the spot on the English Quidditch team. What, it wasn't enough that you have Super!AnimagusAtAge6!Harry, you need him to be super skilled in Quidditch as well. Just another vehicle to show how awesome Harry is. GTFO.

6. Reference to Jessica Alba in ch. 16 or 17, as well as the fact that it's specifically mentioned to be the year 2005. Why the fuck did the author do this? Was it just so he could bust out the Jessica Alba reference? If you are going to do something that extreme, you need a damn good reason to do it, which sadly there appears to be none. I can look over the fact that Harry is 3 years older than in canon as it's an interesting idea, and opens the door for unique plots and situations, but moving the time ahead that much is just fucking retarded.

7. This motherfucking Serpent Staff that we keep hearing about. Staffs (staves?) are fail. Whether it's Merlin's, Gryffindor's, Syltherin's, etc. it doesn't matter, staffs are fucking fail. The chapter where Harry gets the staff, as it's inevitable that he will, is probably where I will stop reading. I don't even know how I can go on with all the motherfucking FAIL in this fic.

8. Remus/Tonks. If Tonks is getting any dick, it has to be Harry's. Without exception. I don't like this pairing in canon, and I certainly don't like it in fanfiction either. It's creepy and I honestly don't think it would work out due to the massive differences in their personalities and situations.


One thing I haven't criticized that happened in the first few chapters that I will now get around to:

Harry becoming an Animagus at age 6. You know, I can overlook the fact that Harry was doing NEWT level magic at age 12, as it isn't nearly as bad as other Super!Harry and God!Harry fics, but Animagus at 6? Give me a fucking break.


Seriously, this fic is so full of fail but somehow I can keep reading when I have stopped reading fics for much less. I predict that I won't get another 5 or so chapters without clicking out though. The amount of fail is reaching my breaking point and will soon pass the threshold.

 

You know I agree with most points but this one most of all. Seriously his body wasn't even finished growing at this stage, It makes no sense that he would be able to complete the transformation with a body so young.

 

It doesn't make sense that a 80+ years old woman can become a cat, which lives a lot less. Or become a cat at all. We know nearly nothing about animagus transformation, except that it's rare; thus not a lot of people can or willing to teach it. Remus most probably did, though.

Yeah, I know I'm stretching it, but I like this story so don't ruin it with details It's an important piece for the progress of the plot, so Harry will be able to watch naked women, why are you complaining?

 

I can totally see the huge amount of fail in this fic. Which is what makes it so controversial. It has some of the key ingredients of DLP's generally accepted fail, at yet it's strangely addicting. Theres no denying the Super!Harry aspects to the story. I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping that this means Voldemort will be relatively well-empowered.

 

That's assuming it's continued...

 

Eh. I'd just say that when you make the transformation, you'd turn into the age equivalent of that species. 7 human years = 1 cat year and all that.

 

I'm assuming that if Voldemort would have known of magic and had a competent tutor like Remus, he would have achieved this sort of things and more.

And Taure, that's for dogs, but you never know.