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Harry Potter Memes Part III

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Oz, Jul 19, 2012.

  1. vlad

    vlad Auror Prestige

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    "Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back."

    Moving past Snape to something much more important, thank you Cat for bringing this sentence to my attention. I remembered the incident and considered referencing it, but I'm glad you did, because...

    The other Slytherin girls. Usually, we have Pansy or Millicent, or Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy. This is I think the first time I can recall where there are other Slytherins present who are 1. In Harry's Year 2. Girls 3. Plural

    We have literally uncovered the second time in canon where Daphne Greengrass unambiguously appears. This is an excellent day that will be remembered in the annals of fandom forever.

    Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back.

    Edit: Bonus - all the stories that have Harry meeting Daphne because she and Hermione hit it off in Aritmancy class DEBUNKED.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2019
  2. Sorrows

    Sorrows Order Member Prestige DLP Gold Supporter

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    I mean. Considering the (presumened) ethnic makeup of the majority of the students and staff. Making the bitter, arsehole charecter who joined the magical KKK/Nazi's explicitly black and the only significant POC would not have been a great look, particularly amoung American audiences. It probably would have gotten pushback, not because black=automatic sympathy points but because there would be some uncomfortable parallels at play.

    Whether people would be more team snilly if Snape were black? It's possible. But it would depend on the audience. The financial and social disparity in Britain falls more strongly along class lines than it does amoung racial lines. James is a pureblood magical aristocrat, Snape is working class northan half-blood with a Muggle dad, clearly at the bottom of the magical class system (particularly in Slytherin.) The same principles of social standing and power apply, and for British audiences at least, the automatic socital power imbalance between the two is already apparent and resonantes well enough. Perhaps to an American audience making him black would have a similar effect.

    Frankly he gets plenty of unearned sympathy as it is, I'm sure that had his race been a factor it would have been added to the fangirls pile of piss-poor excuses as to why he's should be excused for being a petty bitter bullying cunt.
     
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2019
  3. Longsword

    Longsword Fourth Year

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    What ? HP-verse doesn't have aristocrats, nor do we have proof that James' parents were ever.
     
  4. Agayek

    Agayek Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    He was wealthy enough to die and leave gigantic mounds of gold sitting around in a vault, so he at least had a fair bit of money, even if he didn't belong to the nobility.
     
  5. vlad

    vlad Auror Prestige

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    A is for ARCHETYPE

    It should also be noted that aristocracy is often used interchangeably with nobility, but they are not strictly speaking the same thing.
     
  6. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    If Snape was black we wouldn't have to deal with as many fan girls thirsting for him.

    Unless they cast Samuel L. for him.
     
  7. Arthellion

    Arthellion Supreme Mugwump

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    I was thinking Idris Elba personally.

    In which case we should have a Morgan Freeman Dumbldore.
     
  8. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Tactical Tomato DLP Supporter

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    I thought Elba at first but that's just exacerbating the Rickman Problem.
     
  9. CareOtters

    CareOtters Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

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    I don't see the issue. Personally I always pictured Snape as black.
     

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  10. Silirt

    Silirt Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    No, this is turning into a crack in my head.

    Alternate world in which Snape is black and wizards give a shit about race
    _____________________________________________________________________________________
    "Professor McGonagall!" Harry called as the three of them caught her in the corridor in the dead of night, nearly out of breath. "We need to talk to Professor Dumbledore!"
    "At this hour of the night? I think not, Mr. Potter."
    "It's about the Philosopher's Stone!" Ron protested, generating a look of shock in the face of the wizened Transfiguration teacher.
    "Mr. Weasley!"
    "It's true, Professor! We know about the Stone and it's not safe!" Hermione insisted. Before Professor McGonagall could deduct House points, Harry gave her the rest of the story.
    "Snape's going to try and steal it!"

    There was a noticeable pause.

    "Harry, why exactly do you believe this?" the teacher asked with a strange degree of caution.
    "Well, he's limping from going after it once already- Hagrid's dog must have bit him."
    Professor McGonagall winced. It was such an alien expression for her that Harry paused before Ron jumped in for him.
    "Never seemed to like dogs, Professor. Don't think they care for him much either."
    "Miss Granger, please, tell me this was not your idea." the Deputy Headmistress pleaded, pretending to ignore the previous statement entirely.
    "Professor, you just need to fire Professor Snape, please. He can't steal the Stone if he doesn't work here. He'll never work again!"

    Hermione, being a bit cleverer than most first-years, detected a possible reason for the pause.

    "Well, it won't be by his own choosing or anything." she continued.
    "I mean, once everything about Voldemort and the Stone comes out... no one will want to hire him... right?"

    Challenging an authority figure had never been this much work. It was not something that came naturally to her.

    "Okay, maybe he can find part-time work somewhere, I don't know, what I don't mean to imply is that he would live off Ministry-"

    McGonagall raised a hand, silencing her.

    "Whatever you three have heard and wherever you have heard it, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry does not for any reason condone stereotypes or racial profiling." the imperious witch explained. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, your parents were and have always been staunch opponents of such philosophies, and I expect you have severely disappointed them. Miss Granger, you may have the most compelling reason of all to find this manner of thinking abhorrent-"

    The cogs in Harry's mind finally stopped turning, having reached their conclusion.

    "Wait a minute!" he shouted. "We can't suspect him for stealing something because he's black!"

    Comprehension dawned on Ron's face, though it appeared Hermione had already reached that conclusion.

    "That bloody bastard!" the red-haired wizard interjected. "He's got us by the bollocks!"

    Hermione might have look scandalized, but she forced a determined nod.

    "I'll tell you what he is-" Harry started angrily, memories of every harsh word, every unfair punishment bubbling to the surface in his mind.
    "Mr. Potter, I absolutely forbid-"

    THE NEXT DAY
    ________________________________________________________________
    Dean Thomas was sitting by himself at lunch when Harry, Ron, and Hermione appeared as if out of nowhere, sitting down across from him. He had not known the three of them long, and he could not say he knew them properly, but he could only guess they were up to something again, and he most likely wanted no part in it. There was no need for a repeat of the troll incident.
    "Dean, will you please sign this?" Harry asked politely. Unable to imagine what kind of ridiculous request he was being asked to grant, curiosity got the better of him as the boy opposite him slid a piece of parchment across the table. "It'll mean a lot to me, since it'll get me out of detention."
    His eyes widened. Horrid black and white images of people being whipped passed before him in his mind. He stayed like that for a whole minute before finding the words to speak.
    "Harry Potter, there are absolutely no circumstances under which I would ever sign an n-word pass."

    He slid the square of parchment back across the table.

    "It's for Snape." Ron explained.

    A moment passed.

    "How many do you need?"
     
  11. Nevermind

    Nevermind Groundskeeper

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    6368C01C-D3C2-4CC4-ABA3-5A91CB0A6F39.jpeg
     
  12. vlad

    vlad Auror Prestige

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    "So Dean, have you asked Angelina to the ball yet?"

    "No... why would you think I would anyway?"

    Ron waved his hands vaguely. "Oh no reason."
     
  13. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Harry groaned in frustration as he sat before the fire in the common room. He had less than twelve hours to figure out a way to get to the bottom of the Black Lake and he was no closer when he started.

    The sound of the portrait closing snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Dean, Seamus and Neville walk in. A fit of desperation made him think it was time he swallowed his pride and asked for help.

    "Hey Seamus, Neville. Think you guys could help me out?"
     
  14. vlad

    vlad Auror Prestige

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    I laughed in the theatre during film 6 when Harry asks Ron if he thinks Dean is dating Ginny "because of her skin."

    Best out of context canon(ish) quote. Up there with Hermione telling Harry he tastes much much better than Crabbe or Goyle.
     
  15. Silirt

    Silirt Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Ron and Hermione were in the library doing research, the prior wishing he were anywhere else. Unfortunately for him, the latter set a dusty tome in front of him and read the title, which if nothing else was exactly what they needed.
    "N-Word Pass Terms and Conditions by Jesse Jackson the Magnificent..." she trailed off as she opened it gingerly and started reading.
    "This is legal?" Ron asked. "This is going to get Harry out of losing one hundred fifty points?"
    "I think so, the wizard who wrote it declares himself to be the emperor of black people in the introduction."

    They shared a look of uncertainty.

    "At least it means he knows something." Ron decided.
    "It says here that no one RN may sign more than eighteen hundred sixty-five passes in his lifetime."
    "Well, who could possibly need that many?"

    Hermione simply stared back.

    "Ron, each student is here for seven years... with Professor Snape. Lifetime demand..."
    "Okay, okay, we'll ask Angelina after we've run Dean out."

    They read quietly for a few minutes, mostly not finding anything useful. The table of contents made it clear enough that most of the details that pertained to their case would be found in the back.

    "This looks interesting." Hermione noted. "It says here that in addition to a signature, each pass must have a date of use, date of signature, and of course an acknowledgement of these Terms and Conditions."
    "I can see how a date of use would make sense if you've already used it. Why does it need a date of signing?" Ron asked after a momentary look of concentration.
    "I have a hunch. Have you ever heard of Michael Jackson?"
    "No. Is he related to the author?"
    "Ron, you can't just assume that two black people are related."
    "They have the same last name!" he protested.

    The vulpine senses of the librarian were hardly necessary to detect his outburst and shush him.

    "Well, suffice to say, Michael Jackson lost his status as an RN sometime within the last three years. Any passes signed by Mr. Jackson in 1991 are void." Hermione paraphrased at a whisper, squinting here and there.
    "At least that means Snape's in hot water."
    "Why?"
    "He's best friends with the Malfoys- he's got to have signed at least a thousand this past fortnight."

    Hermione may have been wrong, but it appeared despite the seriousness of the situation, Ron was almost skipping on the way out of the library.
     
  16. vlad

    vlad Auror Prestige

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    It brings a tear to the eye that when confronted with question of "would Snape deserve more sympathy if black", DLP responds with fanfics about n-word passes.

    Truly best forum in the fandom.
     
  17. Rehio

    Rehio Heir DLP Supporter

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    Being bullied is not a normal social issue that a child should have to undergo because "It's a part of growing up." Puberty is a part of growing up. Being torn down by peers over and over until driven to suicide isn't some normal part of the world that people should have to go through.
     
  18. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  19. Silirt

    Silirt Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Honestly I spent way too long last night thinking up all sorts of ridiculous scenes for this colossally stupid idea; these were just the first two chronologically speaking.
     
  20. momo

    momo Groundskeeper

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    Yes and when bullying is taken to that level, it is an issue.

    However, in this case, we see pranking. Pranking/teasing is not the same thing as bullying. There is a very clear line.

    Snape on the other hand, literally got James killed. But you still have people claiming that James was in the wrong.
     
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