Ya know, it might be April first, but I’m still not quite sure that this is a prank.

Harry Potter is bisexual.

 

Wtf...

 

I'm like 78% certain that's April Fools tomfoolery.

It's really sad that's not 100% though...

 

The publication date of February 30 should be the giveaway.

But I agree with the general sentiment that, for an April Fools joke, it is uncomfortably close to reality. As it should be.

 

It would certainly explain all the UST with Draco.

 

This isn't a meme, it's a very serious piece of literature, but I've got no idea where else to put it.

 

I can totally see Hermione as an antivaxxer.

 

Though it's not impossible, I'd rate Luna and Ginny over her on the antivax scale. Ginny because she once heard and didn't really care to dig deeper, and I don't think I need to explain Luna.

The top tweet (on the phone) is perversely amusing somewhere, though.

 

Nah, Luna would be doing the multiple layer conspiracy where the antivax movement is actually a conspiracy by the Rotfang conspiracy to control the population.

 

I can see that as well.

 

Why is this not a fic already? And if it is, can anyone link me?

 

Plot twist: it's third year.

 

A humorous one shot of Harry trying to kill lupin would be fun

 

“This is so wrong.” Harry was looking down at his homework in horror. “Snape gave us a chapter on werwolves. What if this is some sick way at him repaying my dad? What if this is the life-debt that he feels obligated to pay?”

He stood and walked over to the chalkboard, sketching a series of lines and diagrams. Hermione and Ron watched with something between concern and awe.

“Snape owes dad. Doesn’t like me. Feels obligated but wouldn’t be shook up if he did his part...” he trailed off, stood back, then leaned back in. “If I’m too stupid to not be proactive, too stupid to not put the pieces together, that’s on me, not him.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, trailing white chalk dust in streaks.

“Somehow I survived this month. He didn’t come for me. Time must have not been right. Doesn’t matter.” He turned to the tome on the table and scanned the page, finger stabbing down like a knife.

“Twenty-eight days. We have twenty-seven days left to plan, and somehow execute that plan to remove a professor.”


Edit: fixed spelling because mobile keyboards.

 

Today in mental images I really did not need.