I've uploaded the chapter without it being beta read. I think the time between updates has been long enough as it is. My computer has decided to be a ass and I'm not sure it's going to live long enough for me to wait for the beta read chapter.

There will, undoubtedly, be punctuation mistakes in there. For that I appologise. However, I thought you'd much rather see it in this state than wait until I manage to get this pile of shit computer sorted out.

Please leave a review, it's nice to know what people think.

 

Where not getting any younger Sree, check out how many people are having B-Day's! anyway seriously Cervus the name is fine, it's what attracted my intrest before i saw it on here, so i think death with kitchenware to the individual who bitched! Seems to have taken an age to update so im ansty and expecting heaps, i know i wont be disappointed.

 

Just to note... If I go missing in action for a few days it'll be because I haven't managed to find a replacement PC. I will respond to any messages left here as soon as I can. This heap of junk is going back to the shop today but I haven't got time to go buy a new one as well. I'll respond to any messages as soon as possible, as well as upload the beta read chapter.

 

I read this when you first posted the un-beta’d version to your yahoo!group, but I didn't review so I wouldn't spoil it to the people who were waiting for the beta'd version (in vain, it seems )

So, it was a nice chapter. Your new OC is interesting - reminds me of Scrimgeour somewhat.

Harry's reaction to Ron and Hermione felt more violent that necessary, but it's not like I mind getting rid of them too much.

As for Osbearn preshadowing, I didn't like how Harry had just pussied out and gave the film to the professor who has a grudge against him. After all the changes towards more cold and calculating Harry, this is a pretty lame way of getting rid of the film, while leaving a shadow of doubt on Osbearn. Honestly, I expected Harry to flatly refuse and take the whole matter to Dumbledore - what could that professor do to him, anyway?

If you really wanted to have him destroy the film, it should have never reached Harry’s hand - Osbearn should have gotten to it first and just took it away.

But anyway, it is not a bad chapter, considering you had a block while writing it.

 

Superb. I like how you deftly, but not irrationally, dealt with Ron and Hermione. Harry is growing up, yet he's not flying off the handle or making big dramatic changes over the course of a week.


GREAT STUFF!!

I think Harry should get retribution on Colin. Will Harry try to extract the memory through a pensieve? That would be helpful, and it would allow Harry to examine the memory.

 

Well, I have't read it yet, but i've been pretty busy. Listen, everyone just ignore my previous posts where I speak in third person. I learned that I can't do that unless I want an, ah, enthusiatic response.

 

oh come on don't stop now. we need some amusement here. :lol:

 

It was funny for like, the first two posts. But it gets old. Plus, no-one takes a third person post seriously.

 

Just finished reading the update and yeh i agree with Chuck on the Ron and Herms topic, that you didn't quickly and uneffectively get rid of them i can see that your moving to make them grow apart from each other...well i think thats whats going to happen? Your introduced character seems to be interesting but i thought Harry would of kinda got the point that he would quite willingly piss in his face then wake up on the right side of the bed the next morning?

 

I've managed to get my old computer up and running. Though I'm not sure this pile of shit is any better than the pile of shit I sent back today.

The most common complaint I seem to be getting about this chapter is Harry's reaction towards Osbearn. Rest assured that Harry only reacted the way he did because I needed a way to bring something into the next chapter. I'm pretty sure that you'll all see my reasoning when the next chapter comes out. Harry's not yet reached the level of 'Darkness' that I'm aiming for, although the next chapter will make a giant step towards the character I want Harry to be. Just rest assured that while Harry acted like his old self in this chapter it will be a contributing factor to the 'darkening' of his character.

As for Ron and Hermione, I didn't want to fall into the trap of just flinging them to one side without reason. The way I'm trying to deal with them in this fic is to slowly have the trio grow apart. Having Ron and Hermione being spies for the Order or something was good the first time I read it, after reading it countless times, though, I think it might just make me stop reading.

I'm actually feeling quite happy at the moment, though the reason might seem a little weird to some. I received my first ever flame. A flame from someone with serious spelling problems, but a flame none the less. It brought a smile to my face anyway.

 

That's when you know you've made it. 8)

 

liking the new chapter

 

The beta read version of this chapter is finally up, so those purest that were waiting for it can now read chapter seven. There's not many changes in all, most are punctuation or changes to sentence structure. All in all it reads a lot better now.

 

That's the same type of amusement as watching someone dragged through hell and back, while you laugh and say "poor sucker. Ah well, least it isn't me, right?" YOu have no shame.

 

Just to let you all know that I haven't forgotten about this fic. I'm having a pretty hectic time at the moment and as such I just don't have the time to write.

My main computer died on me (or, as some like to think, I killed it) and still has all my notes and stuff on. My grandfather died this week after battling with cancer, I'm awaiting the results of the post-mortem and then I have a funeral to arrange. To top it all off I start a new job tomorrow which has longer hours than my previous job, that's another chunk of writing time gone right there.

As you might guess writing isn't the biggest thing on my mind at the moment but I haven't given up. I'll still be writing whenever I can, but given the mess of things at the moment I can't guarantee when the next update is going to come. It will come though.

 

I offer you my condolences.
Don't listen to all the too demanding readers and sort your personal problems first.

 

Gotta agree with Shnitzel here. Sort things out even if it take a month to do, family&friends comes first always. If you need to write a onepiece fic and just shove all your emotions over your grandfathers passing into it so you can get them off your chest if needed.

You and your family have my condolences as well. Plain and simple do what you need to do and take your time, then when your ready get back to writing. Thruth be told I haven't read this fic yet but have seen it before and will be reading it soon.

 

This story is not even on FFnet anymore. Delete/recycle bin this.