I generally don't mind clichés if used sparingly, but this one is overloaded with them. The first chapter wasn't that bad, but the seconod ruined it.

Seriously, Dumbledore was pathetic, with all the 'He is mine!' bullshit he was screaming. The only difference between this and the other retard!Dumbledores is that this Dumbledore screams at McGonagall while in others, he screams to himself.

But the real thing that I hated more than anything was

DOM... Why do people do this? How long does it take to type 'Department of Mysteries' anyway?

And 'fiasco'! What is it with this fucking word? Can't people use some other word like 'the Department of Mysteries incident'? This thing is developing into my Pet Peeve.

Overall, 2/5 for the good writing style.

 

I gave it a solid 3.5 (meaning in practice it comes out to a 4 star) rating. I like this fic and it really seems to me its intentionally parodying the various cliches it invokes. So long as the author continues to put actual twists of originality in this, I think this will turn out good reading in a meta-fictional way.

--bornagainpenguin

 

I think it's because of the world/character limit in the summary. He's probably just trying to save space.

But yeah, I do agree that the 'fiasco at DOM' is pretty stupid but it's still a relatively minor thing.

 

I agree.

<filler>

 

While the story is an interesting insight into Harry - McGonagall's analysis of Harry's attachment (or lack thereof) to the Wizarding world was very good - the pace of updates does not seem promising. Nearly four months and just two chapters?

While the author has been analysing the Potter side of it, it will be interesting to see the reaction of the Death Eaters to this little episode.

The story is too short to give any rating, so we will have to watch for future chapters.

 

Dumbledore here is a bit OTT for me.

No matter how manipulative he is, I just can't see Dumbledore pimping off students.

However, since it's well written and has some Weasley bashing, I'll give it 3/5.

 

It's ok for now. I need more. 3/5 for now.