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Has the "Harry gets buff" trope been done well? Can it be done well?

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by wox2d, Jan 10, 2019.

  1. DarthBill

    DarthBill Dark Lord

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    Okay, right now I'm picturing Harry and Draco squaring off like this:
     
  2. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy Heir DLP Supporter

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    So THAT'S where that gif comes from!
     
  3. awinarock

    awinarock Prisoner

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    Rise of the Wizards was a shit fic then and it's a shit fic now. RoW!Harry is a genocidal maniac who was looking for an excuse to carry out his Final Solution and an absolute cunt. You can't tell he's a cunt though because almost everyone in that fic is unlikable. He is literally a Wizard Hitler.

    It's also pretentious as fuck. The fic starts off with him sipping fire whiskey and staring into a fire for gods sake. That in and of it self wouldn't be so bad if he didn't start bashing Hermione, the Weasleys, and masturbate about how amazing his new law was and how that uppity mudblood just couldn't understand why tearing children away from their parents was so fucking necessary.

    RoW!Harry and his Ubermensch ass can suck a big muggle dick.
     
  4. Arthellion

    Arthellion Chief Warlock

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    I stand by my original comment. It was a solid, enjoyable read at the time. Never a 5 star but enjoyed reading. As we have refined our tastes I’d give it two stars but it was fine for its time.

    Better than any fic I’ve read written by you :p
     
  5. awinarock

    awinarock Prisoner

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    It was a 2/5 guilty pleasure then and 1/5 waste of time now.

    That isn't much of an accomplishment considering my body of work consists of single incredibly mediocre short story I posted in CareOtters's Triwizard Tournament challenge lol.
     
  6. Arthellion

    Arthellion Chief Warlock

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    That’s the point lol
     
  7. awinarock

    awinarock Prisoner

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    My shit writing doesn't make my points any less true. You don't have to be a master of a craft to spot garbage.
     
    HMM
  8. Arthellion

    Arthellion Chief Warlock

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    I’m not saying your lack of writing makes your point any less true. I’m saying your lack of writing makes my statement that it’s better than anything you’ve written more true.

    Being ironic.
     
  9. awinarock

    awinarock Prisoner

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    I get that but even someone who hasn't written a single story can spot a pile of garbage. My pile of garbage is a lot smaller than Tuefel1987's and I commend him/her for the effort, dedication, and courage it takes to simply weote/post a story online and complete it. Still doesn't make Rise of the Wizards any less shitty.
     
  10. vlad

    vlad Professor Prestige

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    Swole Harry with potions roids is obviously the only way this trope ought to play out. Plus some really experiemental work in the many uses of enlargement charms. Harry does room of requirement weight rack and then realizes that he knows magic, so why not just take cast a strengthening charm on himself double no triple no dodecaple his weight load.

    Make it Swole!Harry/MuscleGirl!Tonks for best effect.

    Or (apologies in advance before u read the next line)

    Harry/Madame Maxine
     
  11. Microwave

    Microwave Slug Club Member

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    ‘Another half-giant, o’ course!’ said Hagrid.
    ‘’Ow dare you!’ shrieked Madame Maxime. Her voice exploded through the peaceful night air like a foghorn; behind him, Harry heard Fleur and Roger fall out of their rose bush. ‘I ’ave nevair been more insulted in my life! ’Alf-giant? Moi? I ’ave – I ’ave large amounts of anabolic steroids that I take every day this will one day give me heart problems but who cares I'm swole af and the buffest Chad in Beauxbâtons.
     
  12. wox2d

    wox2d Fourth Year

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    Never apologize for following your passion
     
  13. Collinsworth

    Collinsworth Third Year

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    [​IMG]

    Also, some shit I found in Reddit.

    "I am a what?"
    "Yer a lifter, Harry!" Hagrid says, flexing his mighty biceps--and causing much awe.
    _____

    "Deadlift! Whey! Steroids! Posing!"
    _____

    "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of macro-nutrition and protein shake-making. As there is little foolish bench-pressing here, many of you will hardly believe this is lifting. I don't expect you will understand the beauty of the complex inbuild sieve-shaker, with its additional free one-gallon water bottle. Nor he worth of Vitamin supplements, and Arginine creeping through human veins, bewitching your aesthetic body, ensnaring the senses.... I can teach you how to bottle what you need for fame, to brew whey, and even put a stopper in muscle decay--if you aren't a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
    _____

    "[...] He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from grunting in surprise. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when he put more weight on the long barbell for deadlifting on Deadlift Fridays---for he had seen not only himself buff like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but a whole crowd of people standing behind him, in awe of his lats and trapezius! But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror. There he was, buff as Adonis after a year on steroids, reflected in it, tanned and glorious juicy-looking. And there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others of smaller statures. Harry looked over his swole shoulder--but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible bodybuilders and this mirror's trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not?"
    _____

    [...] "So, back again, Harry?" Harry felt as though his rectus abdominis had cramped after a burnout session on the abdominal core machine. He looked behind him and, sitting on one of the desks by the wall, was none other than one flexing Albus Dumbledore, muscular arms oiled and glinting in the moonlight. Harry must have walked straight past the magnificent old lifter, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn't noticed him.

    "-- I didn't see you, sir."

    "Strange how nearsighted being buff can make you," said Dumbledore, flexing his triceps to show off his recent gains, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling.

    "So," said Dumbledore, slipping his glorious and through lunges steeled glutes off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, "you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of the Elows."

    "I didn't know it was called that, Sir."

    "But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"

    "It - well - it shows me being swole --."
     
  14. Blundo

    Blundo Second Year

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    I mean, even if the serious magical 'cheats' didn't work permanently for one reason or another, any wizard with a decent grasp of sports nutrition and how muscle development happens would have zero trouble seeing anabolic steroids-level results without any of the downsides using something as simple as a healing spell or potion that works by accelerating the natural recovery process rather than resetting to a certain baseline. As the muscle would technically be naturally built, it wouldn't disappear or anything, even in a world where 'fake' magiced-up muscle would.

    I'd imagine most don't really see the point though, as magic removes much of the need for high physical strength, which would also lead to a society where muscle is valued far less in attracting the opposite sex, only being a factor at all due to gradual muggle and muggleborn cultural influence over the centuries.

    So what I'm saying is obviously the best possible reason for jacked!Harry is that he wants to bang some muggleborn girls. Or if he reconciles earlier with Dudley and they become summer gym bros for God knows what reason. Nothing to do with preparing for Voldemort under any circumstances.
     
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