I've been rewriting a story that's desperately needed it. It's called the Root of All Evil and is around 140k words right now. But I need help.

It's needs a rewrite, because frankly, the writing is atrocious in many parts, and some of the ideas are dumb, cliche, contrived, or just unnecessary. I wouldn't rate it more than a 2/5 myself. But I like the story a lot, and feel like it could be a lot better with a little work.

This will be sort of a long term project, but only for the chapters currently published (unless you want to beta the new ones as well). I have redone the first 3 chapters already and am almost done with the fourth, but I feel like the rewrite will be for nought if I don't get an outside opinion and a checker. I don't want to replace something that is poorly written with something that is new, but still poorly written.

What is needed is grammar and spellchecking. I do a lot myself, but I can't catch everything. I am not perfect and do have a lot of problems with my writing, but that is why I'm rewriting the story. I have a particular problem with tenses and random info drops. And sometimes I do a lot of telling instead of showing, but I've been getting a lot better with that. Also, spotting for inconsistencies and major plotholes would be very helpful, and eliminating poor ideas. For the most part though, the plot is set and stone and would be hard to alter without having to change everything.

As for why I'm asking? I'll be the first to admit my writing needs a lot of work. I've written a few shitty stories that I can't even stand myself, but I want this story to stand above them. I hope that eventually one of my stories will enter the DLP library, and the best way for that to help is to get insight from those here. I have posted in the WBA thread before (twice I think) but I just need someone to help with the technical aspects rather than anything else. It was also posted in the AR thread well over a year ago, but a lot has changed since then. I do think I have come a long way since I first joined this site, and I think I can make something of it.

This isn't my first rewrite of the story, but it will be the first complete rewrite. I'm going to go through every chapter. The first three and a half are done, but that's not even 15k words. Many of the later chapters are that long alone, and I think the longest is something like 25k, so yeah, there is some work to do.

Oddly enough, I think this will be the first beta request in this forum I've seen, despite the label saying "Challenges sub-forum, beta reader requests, general discussion of how to write fanfics, talking about fanfic relationships, asking for help with your own fic, etc." I just don't really know any of the good, oldschool, writers well enough to ask them personally.




A few examples of what needs to be fixed in this story
-It's a Harry-travels-to-founders-era-story but it is much more. I need to not include modern day (and foreign) references in dialog. The English is modern, because otherwise the story would be impossible to read. I have to keep things realistic, and accurate to the times, but the story is not a history lesson.
-Somehow I thought it was a good idea to rename Harry to something stupid. In deep retrospect, Harry Potter is a great name and should not be changed. I need this to be reflected in every chapter, and all references to the previous name removed.
-Make sure ideas I introduce early on are not forgotten. This is a major problem in chapter 4. Consistancy
-The story is Harry/Rowena. The are introduced early on, but even though they don't actually become a couple for 100k words, the relationship building needs work. I plan on using letters while Harry is out of the country, and that is a very hit or miss idea.
-'cameo crossover' I introduced one too many elements from DA:O, and many minor references to other games. It's one thing to have a one liner paying tribute once in a while, but a line has to be drawn

 

I enjoyed your May story, mate, so I'll quite happily give this a look if you want.

That said, I may ask you to return the favour in a month or two. Heh.

 

I'll give it a look as well.

 

Me too.

I am a fan of that story.

 

I have never been a beta reader for anything before, but I guess I gotta start sometime, let me know if you need more people, Time Travel is my fav genre.

 

I've contacted Joe because he was the first to respond, and lets face it, he wrote the most epic story off all time in every sense of the word. But, that being said, I think he is way overqualified

 

Looking for a Beta for this story once again. Here's some things I am looking for:

-Good with Grammar and Typos. I have some problems with my writing, such as tense changes, infodumping, and sometimes telling and not showing.
-Good with word structure. Can catch wordiness, word repetition, poor word usage, etc.
-Good with story flow. Keep me focused. I tend to go on writing tangents and write story elements that don't reoccur at all in the story. Also, good with Dialogue. It needs to be realistic.
-Have good ideas in relation to story elements. Help me avoid contradictions. Small details need work too, doing enough tie ins with Canon and Real life to make the story immersive, but not a boring history textbook.
-Help me avoid the bad stuff. There's a few stupid 'cameo crossovers' such as one liners and details from movies and stuff, they need to go.
-Strong stomach. The story has some cliches, but I'd like to think I've developed a lot of them enough to where they are actual plot development points and serve an actual purpose in the story. Still, I need to work on a lot of them, and while some of them are 'done proper', you need to not drop the story upon seeing something you don't like.
-Prior Knowledge of the story would be extremely welcomed, but it's not a requirement. I would understand if you have tried to read the story in the past, but failed to get very far. I won't force you to read the current story either before betaing either, but there's no doubt that would be helpful. Seeing the before chapter, and then the rewritten chapter would give you a better perspective on the story, but I can't force you to do that.

Most of this stuff I will catch my self when I do the actual rewriting, but you will act as a safety net of sorts. I'm not a perfect writer, nor a particularly good one, so don't expect the next coming of A Black Comedy or anything like that.

How this will work. We will exchange emails. I will email you a chapter, you will make a copy of it, and edit that copy using whatever you are comfortable with. You will not make any corrections to the story itself, but will do the editing using tools like the highlighter, underlining, and the color pallet. You can make whatever notes and suggestions you want. You will then email me that copy. I will then meld your changes into the original copy, creating the new, third copy. If I'm not satisfied with it, I may do some more editing and send it to you again. We can also talk on IRC. It's running in my background pretty much all day, and I would like to be able to run ideas for the story past you.

Time Line: There's no set schedule, and I expect this to take probably two months. I am not in a rush, and I do not want to burn either one of us out. I do not want to take up all your free time with this either. However, I would like the betaing done sooner rather than later. It takes me a few days to rewrite each chapter, depending on length, and I would like the chapter back before I send the next one out. If that's not possible, at least keep open a line of communication so we know each other's progress.

Current Progress: Joe helped me with the first 4 chapters. C4 still needs some work I think, and I started C5, but I would like to start from the beginning again. There is a lot of work that still needs to be done, probably over 100k words. Some chapters need a complete rewrite, while others don't. Each chapter is variable in size, ranging from 4k to 25k, but the average is like 8k after I removed the authors notes.

It's a big project, but it's also not the only project I'm working on, and I'm sure it will be the same for you. I'm currently juggling six stories at the moment, and reading another, on top of my real work.

I will wait until several people have voiced serious interest in helping out before deciding. I will probably take the most 'qualified' person. Please mention how experienced you are at this kind of thing, at both writing and editing.

Not really much I can do in exchange. I can help with a story of your own, provided it's not too extensive. I could beta as well, even though I'm not the greatest myself writer myself (hence, me asking for help). I'll do what I can, because that's all I can ask from you.

I might edit this post again in case I forgot to mention something. Feel free to ask questions as well.

 

I'll beta, but as a newcomer to Fanfiction writing, I'm wondering if you could help be an outside source for my story if you have the time.

 

Well, I was doling out advice on how to be a beta a few months back, so maybe it's money/mouth time. Besides, I've hit a bit of a wall a three current projects myself.

I love time travel in general, though I'll admit the only HP fic I've been following lately is WoT/HoT. (BTW, Joe: You'll need to write a third part and call it Badlands of Time. Just sayin'.)

Your exchange format seems reasonable. If you want me, PM and we'll exchange email.

 

I would love to help.

Obviously, my DLP-cred is nearly not there, but I like to think that I'm a somewhat competent writer. I've read your story before, and if I were to beta, I'm willing to spend hours and hours on it, and make spreadsheets. Lulz.

I barely watch any shows, haven't seen many movies, and I don't read much fiction aside from fanfiction and classics, so I'm pretty sure I'd be capable of pointing out the cameo crossover things rather easily. I imagine it'd be a pretty big wuttt moment every time I see one.

I see you on iRC and I think we get along fine (lololololol).

Basically:

+ Dedication, some competence, cliche tolerance set to 'higher than most', ships Harry/Rowena

- No DLP-cred.

 

Lungs, I'm now depressed. You are probably the most qualified.

To point out any skills I have:
1. I'm great at grammar
2. I avidly followed RoAE
3. I can help with ideas
4. I now frequent IRC