Title: Hindsight
Author: loralee1
Rating: K+
Genre: General (One Shot\Open Challenge)
Pairing: N\A
Status: Complete (unless someoe takes up the challenege)

Summary: One Shot, Spoilers for all six books, Snape talks to himself.

Link: Read Here

I thought this could be a great base for an author looking to build a realistic and truly Slytherin Harry, (in the way the term is misused currently) by having a Snape who knows something of what is to come and plots his plans accordingly. I'd not read it if the story were done in a typical Severitus manner, but so long as Snape works to influence rather than 'mentor' Harry I think some serious fun could be had with this.

Like the other fic I posted here for consideration this is a short oneshot, so don't come looking for a classic here, but I think this could be a stepping stone towards a great classic if an author were to take the key ideas here and run with them.

--bornagainpenguin

 

Excellent, someone has to take up this challange... I just hope it's someone competent. Yes, 5/5, I really like the idea of this fic.

 

THe author isn't bad, but she has a major fixation with Snape and slave fics.

Didn't really enjoy this fic, 3/5

 

Well, yeah...

I wasn't suggesting the author as a great source of reading; I was simply highlighting this particular fic as a great source to work from in writing a fic. It's a challenge fic\oneshot coing with an idea I've never seen used with Snape before. And it's set directly before Harry's First year, so it bypasses much of the Severitus nonsense and (hopefully) goes directly for a chance of building a 'Slytherin' Harry.

Then there's the idea of Snape planning plots within plots that I liked. And you know Snape isn't going to spring Black from Azkaban without using it as major leverage.... But IMHO best of all the author was wise enough to limit the parameters by having Future!Snape talking to Present!Snape, instead of taking over his body or merging--which means no matter how well he plots Snape can still stuff things up beyond all recognition due to lacking the nauances of various situations.

I think it could be a cool start to a great series or two depending on who takes it up. After all it's assumed that Future!Snape went back to his own past, how do we know that's really the case? Another fun thing to play with is perhaps having various Snapes popping in with conflicting advice along the way, because Present!Snape keeps getting it all wrong... :banana:

--bornagainpenguin

 

I vote we get nonjon to do this one. The format of 'Dimension Hopping' will do perfectly, with Future!Snape coming back time and again to berate his past self about messing up things. Yes, a brilliant idea. Nonjon? Thoughts?

 

I really just can't see this as something I would be interested in. It is an original twist on all those "Harry goes back and advises/merges with his former self" stories, but I have a hard time getting interested in a nonHarry-centric story.

But, if nonjon wrote it like he did "Dimension Hopping" I think I might change my mind. That format was perfect for making fun of cliches.

 

It's an interesting idea. But it'd have to be done really well to interest me in reading. I doubt I'd ever have an interest in writing it. The core of it all is a Snape-centric fic. And his character I always like best as a whipping boy, a punch line, a target for mocking, unlike the masses of Snape fans in the world who love a good redeemed or conflicted or 'human' Snape.

I'll always prefer a humiliated Snape to a human one.

I got too many fics to write already. But thanks for thinking of me.

 

Good news. With the second chapter just posted, this became a real multi-chaptered fic. It's Snape's POV, but it deals heavily with Harry, so I didn't mind it at all. The pace was pretty fast, but it only made the whole thing more interesting. Great story so far.
4.5/5

 

IMpressive opener. I like it. Still too early to tell, but at this stage...

2/5

(Very premature though since it only has 2 chapters.)

Second Chapter, Snape's a little too forward. Not enough conflict. Too much mentor shit.

Forget it.

Bad bad stuff. LInes like this.

""You have betrayed me, SSSeverus, you must pay," came an eerie voice that sent shivers up Severus's spine. Then the Mark on his left arm burst into white-hot pain and Severus collapsed to his knees griping his arm.

"Help me get the stone and shall let you live, Severus," said the voice.

"No, never," Severus gasp out.

"Then you shall die,"

"NO!" shouted a young voice and Severus was horrified to see the small form of Harry Potter rush at Quirrell. "Leave him alone!"

"Potter," said Quirrell, "Kill him," said the voice. Quirrell attempted to grab Potter by the throat but recoiled screaming, "my hands, it burns."

The pain in his arm eased as he saw Potter reach up with both hands and lay them on Quirrell's face and the man began to scream and turn to ash. The black spirit swirled out of the body and went screaming down the corridor as Potter collapsed.

Severus tried to move toward the boy but the darkness closed in and he knew to more.

Severus Snape sat brooding in the chair beside the Potter boy's bed. He wanted to scream and take a million points from the boy for being out of bed in the middle of the night, for rushing in and taking on the Dark Lord, for risking himself, for scaring Severus half to death, but the brat had saved his life. He wanted to take points for that too.

The boy stirred on the bed.

"Mr. Potter, how do you feel?" asked Severus.

"Professor? What happened?" asked the boy groping on the bedside table for his glasses.

Severus placed them in his hand.

"Quirrell was being possessed by the Dark Lord, Mr. Potter, you drove the Dark Lord out," said Severus.

"I killed Professor Quirrell," said Harry in a small voice.

"No, Mr. Potter, Harry, the Dark Lord killed Quirrell the moment he took possession of his body. If you had not jumped to my defense I would be dead, perhaps others would be also. You did the right thing, Mr. Potter."

"Thank you, Professor."



CROONING: And now I'll Gaaaggg!!

I will not be a party to this. It was a good first chapter, ruined second.

 

Loralee is not a bad writer, not compared to some I've run across. She has a few problems -- a Snape fixation, characters that don't really change from fic to fic -- but she's not as bad as Miss Dangerverse. Sometimes there are some true flashes of brilliance in her stuff. The first chapter of Hindsight was like that.

This second chapter...needs some work. I really don't see Snape throwing years of Potter-hating to the four winds just like that. Too much Papa Snape not enough I-hate-Potter-guts Snape. Still, there's potential here.

3/5.

 

The Terror is right, the humor aspect of a snape that hates potter (or everyone)
vs the smart trying to save his ass so he has to nice snape is missing. I think if The Caitlieff was handling his we might have a few extra yuk yucks. The writer has added some more this story on her home page so it should be updated soon, but the tone is much like chapter two.
She also has a new story called "Cadet Potter" (Harry At the the bad boys school) which show promise.

 

Personally, I agree with The Terror in Snape changing character too quickly. I can easily see him putting up a front while he is around Harry and twisting him against Black and Lupin, but I can never see him actually accepting Harry as who he is: shaping him into something he precieves his father would hate yes, but NEVER actually respecting or liking him.

Tolerence is the most Snape could ever have for Harry, and authors that take this too far are destroying the character that is Snape-the-Potter-and-Black-hating Bastard, the Greasy Git himself.

Provided she doesn't follow this path, the story has potential: 3.5/5
Potential for a very nice Dark Harry if Snape plays his cards right and tries to corrupt Harry against the Weasleys, Black, and Lupin.

 

Updated, more hugs and kisses all around. It is sort of like the care bears writing fan fiction. Oh well, it's summer and it's summer reading.

 

Updated, now with funny parts.

O.K. it had a few scenes I thought were funny. Your mileage may vary.
Otherwise the usual mix of good writing and fluff with a bit of advance plotting
tossed in for good measure.

 

Of possible interest, Loralee has started a NaNoWriMO project. "Redefining Hogwart's" is part two of "Redefining Summer" and can be found on her Live Journal page. To get there, just click the link on her ffn homepage.

 

It can also be found on her yahoo group, SistersoftheWriteStuff, where she sends the sections out as special notices. Its not bad so far.

 

Well here I go again, digging up ancient ass fanfic. I don't know if the fandom is dying, I'm bored or no one is recing fics anymore.

In any case, I must say that the premise of this story is indeed strange. I must say though I found Snape to be very out of character, though it didn't seem to be forced that way. Which is definitely a positive.

The deceitful way that he used the Death Eaters shows a great deal of competence. And he didn't seem like a complete OC which is necessary in a Severus centered fic.

I didn't detect any major writing flaws, and the only main draw back is that it seems the final chapter was either never written or never posted--nor do I expect it to be though the author might surprise us.

Over all I give this a 4/5.