Subject: History's Inexorable March - M


Title: History's Inexorable March
Author: Moi
Rating: M
Genre: Drama
Pairing: Does not concern me at the moment.
Status: WIP
Summary: “This is a catalogue, a memoir, a detective piece, taking the perforated versions of a thousand narratives and building them up into a single story.” – Harry Potter.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3091005/1/

It will probaably be updated weekly, or perhaps, even ten days.
Yes, it will stay first person. Though the jerky style will settle down.

 

weird summary, re-write it, maybe i'm just to mentally challenged but it doesn't make much sense to me..

 

Re-do the summary. Also why would anyone read a story where one of the main characters names are spelt wrong. It's Evans no evens. Everything seems like its all over the place.

 

After reading it i agree with chronic dragon, names as important as Evans can't be spelled wrong and the whole thing seems rushed to me..

 

I'd say it's good, but maybe not ready for the Library yet. 3/5 stars, it jumps all over the place, but it seems it has a lot of potential.

 

Fascinating... Exceptionally curious and quite complicated to follow - I can honestly say I have no idea what's going on, but my interest is certainly piqued. I can not give a true rating yet - I'll have to see more first, but I DO want to see more.

The most confusing part is the section with Vernon, I think - I'll have to reread it a few times.

-J

 

Hmm. It's good but... It needs more refinement. There's some places where it would be helpful to add a comma in order to show where a different idea begins and ends. At least thats my opinion. Either way, 3.5/5

 

i would say someone has been reading Umberto Eco, and has tried appling it to Harry Potter. Hard to rate only one chapter, the author should fix the spelling errors, and grammatical mistakes, and then post a couple of chapters so we can get a feel for the story.

 

The author tried to be philosophical and failed, mostly to the fact that it kept jumping from one thought to another only to get back at the first thought 3 or 4 thoughts done the line. It has a lot of potential, but it needs to be organized better; not to mention better grammar.

 

Well ,I've tried , again, to clear up soem half-formed and confusing parts. (In other words, chapter one is revised).

If you found the Vernon bit confusing, just go back to the train scene and read about how Petunia walks back to the same soilder again and again... that should clear it up.

Hm.. I had no idea what Umberto Eco was and while I didn't write in order to seem philisophical, my idology needs a hell lot more readjustment before I can preech it to anyone else, I did write so that some commets seem a bit... eccentric.

Anyways, here's a little excerpt from chapter two, whcih to hope to complete by tonight.

 

Could you do a find/replace of Evens with Evans? You seem to be trying, but you still missed a few.

 

Second Chapter Posted. :banana:

 

DO....NOT....USE.....The Dancing Dildo....


After this post i am reading this fic and i'll update my post accordingly..