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[WIP] Hogwarts Battle School by Kwan Li

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Averis, May 22, 2013.

  1. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    I feel your unwillingness to buy the fact that, after a massively debilitating civil war, there would be a school where they train their students in case it happens again. In a world of magic.

    Didn't there used to be war drills and such in old Victorian schools?

    Battle classes are only one part of their education and even then it's not necessary to take it as an elective. I think. There is a class related to battles or strategy that is not necessary, I know that.
     
  2. Hawkin

    Hawkin Minister of Magic

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    Battle class are mandatory. In 3rd year the students get assigned a path (Leadership, Strategy and Healing I think?). They have special class related to that path.
     
  3. Myrrdin Emrys

    Myrrdin Emrys Disappeared

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    Huh. I don't like it.

    It's just that sometimes the grip the story has on me loosens considerably every chapter or two. Some plot devices seem... forced, somehow? One of the earliest examples being how Harry goes to Hermione after she overhears Tracey talking about her... about two paragraphs after Hermione had snidely commented on the lack of proper terminology Tracy was using.

    It just seems weird to me that he would go to check on someone that had insulted his friend.

    Then there's the fact that Hermione makes me want to strangle her and then throw her lifeless body into lava.

    Then don't even get me started on that contract for secrecy.

    The story composes of Hermione-wank, and I hate it.

    The author presents her first as this enigma, then this powerful and cunning witch, and then the odd one out in the story in regards to her using numbers etc.

    All in all, though the writing is decent and the grammar and spelling don't have many mistakes so at the end, with Hermione-wank and the sorts, I suppose I'll give it a 2/5.
     
  4. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    Fair play. In that case my point about Victorian private schools having war games and war training stands.
     
  5. mcccxxxvii000

    mcccxxxvii000 Squib

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    Borrows extremely heavily from Ender's Game, but while Ender's Game was tightly structured it seems like things are a bit disconnected here and lately the story seems to be sprawling out more. I can't really feel much of an overarching goal or purpose for the characters.

    Also I never noticed this but it seems like in canon Hogwarts is also around 5 boys/girls in each year and house. I always imagined it to be a lot bigger.
     
  6. Kirbyblox

    Kirbyblox Squib

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    This is very true. The first time I read Harry Potter, I imagined Hogwarts to have over 1000 students, thinking it similar to my school. After re-reading the books a few times, I estimate that there are about 300 students at Hogwarts.

    HBS was a delight for me to read. I will rate it a 4.5/5
     
  7. Majube

    Majube Seventh Year

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    HBS was okay I mean I really liked it at first but it dragged on at parts and the big reveal that Hermione was using numbers was disappointing a bit of a letdown. I know it's a supposed elite school but I felt like the author would have been better off adding the extra characters like Lily Moon and Wayne Hopkins an etc.
    Also never noticed it was similar to Ender Games but I only watched the movies an yeah the Snape mystery kinda strikes me as similar
    Overall I'd rate it 3.5 but this is an old thread
     
  8. yrtb

    yrtb Squib

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    I've really enjoyed reading this so far, but I think I like Kwan Li's writing style in general. I really liked the Other Boy Who Lived as well.

    And yea I just realized how similar it is to Ender's Game in some ways.
     
  9. Azreal

    Azreal Squib

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    While the writing can be stiff, this is one of my favorite works in progress. It's a homage at every turn Orson Scott Card's most famous novel. Given the status of it as well as Harry Potter as some of the best Bildungsroman of our generation, it's perfect is unorthodox combination.

    Besides-- who can resist high political drama in a world where nobody's stupid, everyone's scheming, and no one knows quite what's going on? I'd give it a 4 for anyone who loved Ender's Game as a child, and 3.5 for anyone else.
     
  10. CorvusBlack

    CorvusBlack Squib

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    The depiction of Harry growing stronger, students being bad at plotting, the nature of spells, Flamel as a teacher and Battle Magic are all reasons this story is awesome. 4.5/5
     
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