So I was wondering, how do you write a good action scene? What separates the good ones from bad ones? (Besides being able to see the action clearly in your mind; I've read a few fics where this holds true, but it still felt really off.)

Sorry if this has already been posted in the post. I did a quick search in this sub-forum, and couldn't find any similar topics.

 

This is actually pretty damn helpful:

http://hollylisle.com/index.php/Wor...d-action-scenes-your-story-at-your-speed.html

Take a gander.

 

This is quite awesome: thanks!

 

I did know some of that, but it's nice to see it in words.

 

That's really helpful, thanks!

 

That link has some good advice. One thing I have painstakingly added to my repertoire, although I'm not much of an action writer, is limiting 'extraneous information'. Its simple to write every paragraph with a lot of description but if you take the time to imagine yourself in the main character's shoes, you will find that its impossible to get a full grasp on the setting.

For example, during a battle with Death Eaters, Harry might recognize something like The Hogs Head being on fire but he would be less likely to mentally chronicle the amount of snow falling or the density of the ground that he's running on. In an action scene, the actions of the character take precedence over the things going on around him.

There is a proper way to describe things when doing an action scene and each author will have done their own work differently, but here is an example of what I think it should look like.

"Harry pressed himself against the wall and took a deep breath. Thanks to the ever-present connection between his mind and that of his nemesis, Harry was well-aware that the Dark Lord had not yet arrived in Hogsmeade. Still, rather than relieve him as he might have expected, the thought that Voldemort had not yet arrived left him dreading the moment that he would come spiralling down from the heavens like some arch-angel, full of vengeance and mad with power.

As the seconds stretched Harry could smell a thick, acrid smoke in the air and when he poked his raven-haired head around the corner he could spy the Hog's Head Inn engulfed in green flame. Noting that many of the Death Eater's attentions had been drawn by the burning inn, Harry crept forward gently and prepared himself to make a dash back across the street to the place he had last seen Ron and Hermione. He took a running step and then hit the ground heavily having been knocked sideways by a purple-tinged spell from his left.

Time seemed to slow for Harry, and he found himself looking down at his bloody hands holding his stomach where the spell had connected with him. Though the wound was not life threatening, it stung so badly that tears came to his eyes and he had trouble catching his breath. Once more a spell struck near him and lifted him bodily in the air, slinging him wildly across the cobblestone street and he fell to the ground in a heap, unable to focus on the action going on around him.

However, his brief respite was not to last; in mere seconds the witch who had dealt the painful blows to Harry's person came striding daintily up the street with more than one black-cloaked Death Eater following her obediently. With a sickening realization he found himself face down in his own blood and unable to move his shaking limbs to save himself. He imagined the potential face of his enemy, smooth and feminine and framed by wild brown hair frayed with gray; his suspicions were confirmed a moment later when Bellatrix Lestrange almost-lovingly grabbed him by the hair and then, with a cackle that sent a shiver of despair down Harry's spine, Lord Voldemort's most loyal servant smashed the Boy Who Lived's face into the road and he knew no more."

Or something like that. Still describing what he sees, smells, touches and how he feels about certain things, without going into unnecessary details like where Hermione and Ron actually were, or what Dumbledore's army was up to or how the weather looked (which is particularly cumbersome and begins 95% of fanfiction's shoddily written stories).

 

Stuff that I do:

1. Act it out, if you can. Or go out for a jog and try talking (or recall a time you'd done so); it helps you keep your dialogue short and realistic.

2. Avoid naming every single "move" (Things like "phoenix punch into an Five-Finger Palm Attack," or name + description of spells cast, etc)