After reading yet another great Independent!Harry story, I decided that I should post this guide to help instruct my fellow authors here on how to write that perfect story we’ve all been dreaming about.

Here is how this works, for every line of text all you have to do is flesh it out to be a whole paragraph and then you will have the perfect Independent!Harry story….I promise.

~Cool Title~

Harry’s having a nightmare.

Harry wakes up.

Harry rants about his shitty past.

Harry rants about his shiity present.

Harry rants about his shitty future.

Harry cries.

Harry vows revenge on Voldemort.

Harry gets a mysterious letter from Gringots requesting his presence ..with a golden gallon portkey of course.

Harry gets another mysterious letter from Dumbeldore moments later, telling him that he will probably get a letter from Gringots and that it’s a trap.

Harry rants about how Dumbeldore is a traitorous basterd.

Harry makes a list of all the reasons why he hates Dumbeldore.

Harry makes a list of all the things he will need to do to defeat Voldemort.

Harry goes to bed and cries some more.

-End Ch. 1- (Note: You must make sure that you recap the first 5 books somewhere in this chapter incase any of your readers have forgotten what happened in them.)

Harry shows up in Gringots.

Harry asks for Griphook.

Goblins are surprised that a human managed to remember one of their lowly kinds name.

Griphook brings Harry to the president of the bank…his name is Ragnok.

Harry greets Ragnok friendly like, not caring about his position.

Goblins are awed…Griohook is now crying in the background.

Ragnok proceeds to describe and detail all the crimes Dumbeldore has done over the years. (I.e. Stealing from his many vaults, hiding his heritage, hiding his parents will, knowing Sirius was innocent, disobeying his parents express wishes by sending him to the Dursleys, giving money to the Weasly family so they pretend to be nice to him…ect.)

Harry take s a blood ritual to determine what vaults he has legal rights too.

Harry’s mother wasn’t as muggle born as everyone believed, but no one figured this out for some very clever reason.

Harry now has the combined fortunes of the Blacks, Potters and Evans families, thus making him the richest SOB in the world.

Ragnok proves to him that all his friends are really backstabbing basterds…except Ginny and the Twins

Harry plays nice with the Goblins some more and then leaves to go to his vaults with Griphook.

Quickly before he leaves Ragnok (who’s crying b/c some wizard has finally shown him kindness) pledges the loyalty of the Goblins.

Harry leaves his office. (Note: you must now never talk about this alliance again.)

He visits his vaults and surpassingly finds them loaded with books.

He has the Goblins magically transport all the books to his room.

Harry asks how he can get money in the muggle world as well as magical world without comeing back to bank every time. Griphook gets him a bag that connects directly to his account as well as a credit card.

-End Ch. 2-

Harry decides to go on shopping spree.

Buys cool robes.

Buys cool trunk just like Moody’s but better because you can live in it.

Buys cool dragon hide armor.

Buys books, lots of books.

Buys contacts that have all the same effects as Moody’s eye. These contacts never have to be removed for any reason.

Buys some more totally random, but cool, gadgets that you will never see or hear of again.

Harry stops to think for a moment, then decides that he will need to use dark arts to defeat Voldemort so he goes into Nockturn Alley

Buys lots of Dark arts books, never once worrying about being out of his league.

Buys a time turner that will allow him to spend as much time as he wants training

Gets awesome new custom wand that only takes a few minutes to make but is infinitely better then a normal wand…plus it cant be tracked by the ministry.

Harry goes home and bullies the Dursleys to be his personal slaves.

-End Ch. 3-

Harry uses the time turner and gets many awesome/ridiculous powers…plus he exercise constantly so he now resembles a Greek god.

Harry can now blindfolded take out twenty Death Eaters easily.

-End Ch. 4-

Harry pisses around for a long time even though he could easily take out all his enemies...after all, he has to be cool so he secretly talks to all the friends he has left and starts to screw Ginny.

-End Ch. 5-

(You now abandon this story to never update again because who would want to actually worry about having to write an actual plot.)

P.S. If you want to contribute feel free, just please note that sarcasm should not be used when writing a serious guide like this.

 

you forgot that bill is also a harry fan after only knowing him for 20 minutes.. Also, not only is harry potter harry potter but, harry james evans black smith brown johnson etc........... potter..
Chapter Six
Harry, know with long hair, is framed and thrown into azkaban without a trial.

Once in Azkaban, he shares a sell with some really powerful wizard.

Said wizard/witch, trains harry from memory no less of in the ways of martial arts and wandless magic.

Know a ninja, harry escapes from azkaban.
End chp. 6
Chp. 7
After a huge i love you you love me moment with Ginny, harry moves into one of his many mansions and has an army of house elves led by dobby.
Neville shows his loyalty to harry by doing something outlandish and brave (lets not forget he is now really powerful).
Harry is then found innocent of his crimes and although he is godlike powerful and heir to all four founders, he returns to hogwarts.

Hermoine begs for harry's forgiveness which he accepts, and ron leads the rest of the school in an attempt to kill harry.

End chp. 7..

 

err...I think this comes under cliche rant...

 

wow that sounds like more of a story with every single cliche used than the best independant!harry story.

 

It's better than some fics i read :cry: srry but some fics are just craap

 

I'll have to agree but sometimes you get a rare good noncliche........................but yeag that did sound better than some of the stories i've read :cry:

 

Okay for the people that don't get it, that is a story with every cliche people can think of in it, i think someone like Nonjon or Roarsch Blot could actually write a humorous story using every cliche possible. I would read it just because as long as it's not serious, it would be hilarious..

 

you should start it slightly AU:

start with the scene in dumbledores office at the end of ootp:

dumbledore cries because he wronged harry so much that he just can't stand it any more

during the drive home harry gets called a freak by petunia and breaks down crying

somewhere along the story insert a priory incantatem and as harry sees the echos of his parents he bawls his eyes out

ooops i guess that was a little bit too much but anyway:

chapter 8: harry finds out that ginny betrayed him with draco so he goes on a quick killing spree and then bitchslaps ginny

chapter 9: harry forgives ginny and is on a endorphin high from shagging her so he decides he makes a quick trip to kill voldemort
he killes voldemort thanks to some kind of deus ex machina as the author cant think of a way to use harrys uber-mega-super-godlike powers to off voldemort

 

Chapter 10 - Voldemort returns because of the blood and mind link that he shares with Harry. It is, of course, Wormtail who manages to bring him back again.

Chapter 11 - Harry decides that the only way he can destroy Voldemort is to use his Gryffindor heritage (which he knows he has because his parents lived in Godric's Hollow) to become a Pheonix animagus and sing at him.

Chapter 12 - Harry defeats Voldemort (while insulting him with a childish play on his name, or by useing Voldemort's birth name) once and for all and adds about sixteen hyphenated words to his name. Everyone who pissed off Harry is shamed by the wizarding world for about a week. Then they are forgiven when Harry makes a public anouncement that he forgives them (because he never fell to the Dark Arts that he practiced night and day). Optional Uber!Smut ending.

Edit: I am well aware that using a dragon as an animagus is also incredibly cliche. Sue me.

 

*Sigh* Im ashamed of you right now….Harry is a double animagus…DUH!

 

Every one knows that it is impossible to be both a metamorphamagus (sp?) as well as an animagus. So he can only be both, not both plus an extra form. Duh. (no, my Harry will not be a metamorphamagus)

 

Wow!

This story sounds like Lord Silvere's Earl of the North almost to the letter!

 

I think you all saved me about three weeks of my life by reading most independant!harry stories out there. That covers all the important points...no point reading something now.

 

I think you just wasted my life with this bump. Nice.

 

But you mustn't forget that Harry learns House-Elf magic and Goblin magic and so on. Of course he then can break through all anti-apparetion wards...

 

I can probably pull out atleast four fics from my recent history that fills everything Yarrgh said to the "T". That's pretty damn sad. :O

Ya'll forgot that Harry needs to obtain the Gryffindor sword, and become the "instant mastaaaare!" with it.

 

No, he needs to randomly practice with it throughout the year, instantly mastering animating statues or creating opponents which though they require intense concentration to keep moving he manages to learn to fight against.

Then he goes into battle and is completely great though he was controlling his enemies movements while practicing.

 

I'm ashamed, you guys forgot that he has guns. Tsk tsk, that's a major point.

 

And of course he masters Occlumency and Legilimency within hours. Then he mind-rapes all his opponents and gains all their knowledge. Within 2 weeks, he knows everything possible, including atomic-bomb-like curses and then he does ... nothing. No killing off bad guys, no. He just sits on his ass.

 

He also calls Voldemort pathetic asinine names and can easily beat him, yet for some reason does nothing. Also, even though he can beat any 20 people at once (including Merlin, Morgana, the 4 Founders, Dumbledore and Voldemort), he is terrified of the 'famous Weasely temper' and will cave instantly to Molly, Ginny or Hermoine.


Oh and even though Dumbledore has been around for 150+ years and is widely recognized as the most powerful wizard around, Hermoine knows spells from reading the Hogwarts library that he has never heard of. Never mind the fact that Dumbledore practically OWNS the Hogwarts library