Expansion of what was said previous posts.
When some random person says to Harry and tell him that his friens are spying on him and Dumbledore is a prick, Harry believs immidietly. I mean if he is so easy to believe that his friends are spying on him maybe he isn't such a friend himself.

 

Well, maybe. Personally, if some random person off the street told me that all of my friends had betrayed me and that my pseudo-mentor was a complete arse, I would take it with a rather large grain of salt. Now, for the whole thing of harry being betrayed by everyone and their owl, it would only work properly if he actually overheard them talking about it; but even that is rather cliché-sounding.

Yet, it's not as bad as Harry remembering the name of some low-level goblin bank clerk what he only met once. And that was just after being told that he was a wizard!

 

Hello all! Just joined yesterday! But anyway on to the topic. I'm pretty sure someone has already stated this but, have you noticed that in most fanfiction (written by 12 year old kids) the characters have some of the most intense romances for a bunch of 13 year olds. At 13 I was nowhere near standing onto of the lunchtable singing "You are the Sunshine of my Life" to my boyfriend. If anything I couldn't stand the little bastard.

Another thing is the whole Dark!Harry fics that feel the need to pair the little kid off with Voldemort. Come on! The guys like 80 years old. That's perverted in so many ways. And don't get me started on the Slash/Mpreg thing a lot of people seem to be writing. (Even though when I was reading book 6 I got a little scared about the Harry stalking Draco thing.)

Then there's incest. A game the whole family can play! Especially the black family who we all know are a bunch of sadistic bastards who have random orgies in the rock garden. I think I should stop now, getting a little carried away.

 

You really shouldnt insult incest with Vash here... he writes Harry/Lily stuff.

And yes, I think that the dark!harry thing has been discussed, but to my knowledge, not the first thing. But really, as you said, its written by 12 yr olds, who dont really know what romance is at that age.

 

My bad! Don't want to insult anyone. Sorry Vash!

 

You can can trash other incest pairings but when it comes to Harry/incest,you have to compliment that pairing.That's just how it goes.It would be good to see one with his sister,in AU world of course,never seen one with that yet.

Linked up,did you forget Demon God of Chaos,he writes incest to,the most avid Harry/dark/evil/incest writer.

 

SilverAegis started one that had him paired up with an AU female version of him, but the author just put it on hold after only 4 chapters. Thats the only one I've seen that is somewhat like his sister.

 

On a variation of that note, how about the 16 and 17 year olds that have gone out with one person suddenly decide that they're perfect for each other (see: canon). I'm 18, had 3-4 girlfriends, and the two people that I MIGHT consider marrying (but doubtfully will) are people I haven't gone out with!

I can see it in one or two occasions (I'll make allowances for James/Lily) but any intelligent and self-respecting character shouldn't just decide who is perfect for them based on three kisses and one conversation about a tattoo.

The point is: no matter your age, how likely is it that you're going to find 'the perfect one' on your first or second go at it?

 

Well if that's the case, why is it that no-one ever asked Harry why he looked the way he did? With Harry's childhood the way it was, wouldn't someone have noticed that he was physically impared? You would think that at least Pomfrey would have noticed the state Harry's body was in. In fact, she probably did, but had the exact knowledge Obliviated from her mind by Dumbles, who probably placed a varient of the Confundus charm to make everyone think that Harry was being well treated.

While I'm on the topic of Manipulative!Dumbledore, I don't believe that he charmed Harry's relatives to be mean to him, I think that that's just how the Dursleys normally are. They seem to be the type that would be racist, bigoted, narrow-minded, convinced of their own importance, and all around mean, calous, and mistrustful of anyone who doesn't fit into their perverted view of what 'normality' is.

If you look close enough, you will see that Petunia's abject loathing of Lily comes purely from jelousy; because Lily could do something that she couldn't, and Lily was younger, more popular, better looking, and just basically better than her horse-faced sister ever was, or ever will be. That resentment probably carried over to Harry, when horse-face realised that her nephew would be better than her son, and she didn't want that to happen. With Vernon, well, he's pretty much an arogant fuck-wad, who believes that the Universe revolves around him, and him alone.

Another thing that really ticks me off is the fact that in most complete AUs of the Harry Potter saga, regardless of who brought him up, he almost always still becomes friends of the mudblooded beaver know-it-all, and the poor weasels. Either that, or he becomes the bitch of the resident dragon-ferret. That really pisses me off.

One more thing; the sheer number of H/D slash that is out there. How the fuck can some people pair those two people up, I will never understand. It's sickening, how many times they have what was supposed to be animosity and hatred turn into UST, purely to feed their sick, twisted fantasies that involve two men doing the unmentionable. I've often been reading what was a very good story, only to see that come flying out of left field. Every time that happens, I cry out 'Oh, God! I did not want to read that!'. It's horrifying, watching what was otherwise a brilliantly written piece of fan-literature turn into fangirl-oriented Brokeback Mountain-style filth, that looks like it was written by a gorilla on crack.

 

Yea,I don't get it.When they say AU,doesn't that mean Alternate Universe,do different stuff then last universe,but then people with zero creativity minds just use up what they read from fics and takes mostly all the canon stuff since they can't develop different characters in their fics.It just pisses me off.And when Harry is sorted into Slytherin,he somehow becomes friends with the Weasel bee"Did the house rivalry end when harry got sorted into Slytherin or am I missing something.And somehow when there is no Weasel bee,there is the Know it all beaver tooth to take his place. uke: .I guess that some Authors got their head stuck so far in the canon world that they can't think Harry can be friends with other people except for Ron Weasel and Mudblood Granger.


I'm fucking telling you.People got weird mundane ds to come up with something so atrocious like H/D.Most H/D stories are overused plot like,how Draco is a Veela(They make him Veela cause of his hair,looks likes Fleur's hair)and Harry is his mate,and they were meant to be togehter.Stupid bloody freakin idiots.I remember that I read somewhere Draco is a Veela,he can turn his Penis into a Vagina"WTF" ,crazy weird minds.Blame BeokeBack Mountain for all this slash fics soming out.



Damn Dark Jedi,that is some rant right there.

 

I believe that the H/D fanfiction came out way before Brokeback Mountain. What I really hate is when a random seer comes out of nowhere and declares two random people soulmates and their love is the key to killing Voldemort. I saw this one fic that had potential of being a good action fic but then the (in)famous seer, Ima Totalfraud said that the key to defeating Voldemort lied in the love between a dragon and a lion. I don't remember ever having to hitting the back button so fast.

I never understood the whole AU thing either. I can understand being friends with Hermione (homework help anyone?) But the Weasel??? He's just a waste of time and space. Hell, he never should've been in the book anyway. He's just a sad excuse for comic relief. I have a bet going with a bunch of people that Ron won't see the end of book 7.

 

I'll take that bet, and say that he won't see the middle of book 7, because Harry requires the blood of a virgin for a power enhancing ritual. And we all know that Ronniekins never got any, don't we?

 

I don't know. Maybe Little Ronniekins might have slipped something to Hermione when she stayed at his house over the summer. Oh wait, I don't think he was smart enough to actually make a potion to do that. I would say he used a muggle drug but that's a little to complex for him. Maybe he brought something a Diagon Alley? Or he just could've hooked up with his slut of a sister one dark and stormy night (ANOTHER cliche in most angst fics.)

 

Heh, the dark and stormy night was parodied.

http://bobmin.fanficauthors.net/Attack_of_the_Fan_Fic_Authors/index.html

 

I wrote a one shot ficlet of Harry/Draco parody in the Mature section. "A Nasty Birth"

Beyond that, I feel that the whole "Dream Thing" has been done to death. Harry wakes up with Sirius screaming, or being tormented by Voldemort at night, etc.

I NEVER liked it.

 

I don't know. I never minded the dream thing. But only if it moved the plot along. For instance, a dream of the next death eater attack or a major plot point in the story. But, just some random, no-name muggles getting raped or tortured to death and somehow Harry felt all the pain and suffering is a over-used, played out plot. Everyone and their best friend seems to be writing about that these days. Especially after OOTP. Man I was ready to shoot JK because of the stupid dream sequence thing she had going on in the book. Or better yet I just should've emailed her all the bad fics that happened because of it.