Well, he is obviously going to get a wizard robe and hat to put on .

 

I know what you mean. One of the things that really bugs me, is when he works on construction sites.

I mean he's an underfed little pip squeak, and he lugs building materials around.
It seems to me the authors who write this kind of shit, have obviously never had a job themselves.

In Britain it is against the law to employ an under 16, to work in those fucking jobs.
Have they never heard of employment laws.

There is a difference to paper rounds and fucking building sites.
Britain isn't stuck in the Victorian era, I almost expect someone to make him clean fucking chimneys.

Litha

p.s luckily I now read fic's using the DLP filter, so it helps cut down on my cliche rants.

 

Independant!Harry always blames Dumbledore for never preparing him for fighting Voldemort. I mean Dumbles warned him in his first year that Voldmort wasn't dead and was looking for a way to become immortal and regain his power. Harry should have learned everything he could and told Ron to go fuck himself whenever he wanted to play chess. Dumbles never said Harry couldn't read some books or practice some spells, apparently Harry wants to be spoon fed everything just like Snape says. I even bet if he asked and gave a good reason Dumbles would have let him get some books from the restricted section. My Point? It's not Dumble's fault canon Harry doesn't know shit. It's canon Harry's fault canon Harry doesn't know shit. Ron shares some of the blame as well.

 

I know. Rons always "Oh hey lets go play chess or quiditch or eat some food." God forbid harry do anything close to productive or hepful.

 

Err, that's actually not Ron's fault. He's a teenager, he doesn't have to save the world, and he can screw around and have fun. It's Harry's fault that he plays chess. He has to save the world (Magical UK), but no he accepts chess.

Sure, Ron shouldn't ask, but Harry shouldn't accept.

 

OMG HaHaHaHaHa you did not bring up that chatroom shit which was used in Mr. Gio's wonderful story

"He put on his wizard robe and hat"

 

Another one, more of a misconception than a cliche, but I've come across it several times, one of them just right now:

Luna doesn't read the Quibbler, nor any other book or magazine for that matter, upside down, it is just the one article about runes that must be read upside down to make sense on Harry's train ride in 5th year where she does that

 

I'm getting tired of hearing "Mind Rape" as a term for leglimency. Every fic I've read recently has "Mind Raped" used at least once. I mean I understand that it could be interpreted as the mind being raped and was probably interesting to read the first 10 times someone wrote it but now it's getting kind of ridiculous. I think "Invasion of a persons mind" has now been forgotten enough that it could be used again.

 

i never saw mind rape, do post a link...

 

Its true the majority of fics, especily the independent ones talk about Mind Rape and how Snape can't teach. Mind you its never Harry's fault that he hasn't learned Occulmency, Snape always takes the time to assault him or isn't even trying to teach him in the first place.

 

@Yaargh.

Not you when I was talking about magical maturation. I'm talking about when Harry receives god-like powers, or when the author makes Harry the only exception.

 

ExceptionallyGeniousHermione, when Hermione, being a student of only a few years and relatively new to the wizarding world, suddenly manages to outsmart McGonagal and Dumbledore in a world they were born into and have lived in for decades. Also, why is it only Hermione can see the exceptionally obvious? She may be smart, but does she necesarilly have to bestow upon the unworthy Gryfindors about the ways of the world, else they can't learn it themselves?

TheSameOleLine why is it every time Harry magically ropes up Lupin he asks him the same exact questions to find out if he's a deatheater? What was my patronus, what's the map password?

MagicallyMindGiftedPotter Harry suddenly applies himself, after ordering Occlumency books, and has become a master at it, when Snape, who is especially skilled in the matter, took years to learn?

Phoenix tears are not the cure for werewolves!! Amazing those two creatures have been around for centuries and no one but harry or hermione could have thought to use them to cure werewolf bites.

Harry magically turns the Room of Requirement into a training facility that virtually stops time, spends up to six months training in solitary confinement, and waltzes out unaffected, other then becoming a magical god.

Harry cannot get buff, uber-fit, and physically skilled by doing push ups in his bedroom and jogging around Privet Drive during the summer!

 

While I agree with the majority of your rant I don't agree with the above. For one thing Phoenixes are rare. Extremely rare, so getting Phoenix tears is not at option to many people. besides I think Phoenix tears applied a few minutes after the bite would remove the werewolf 'taint'. However it wouldn't heal old werewolves like Lupin.

I'm also not sure this is a cliché... I've never seen a story that does this. Can you provide a link?

 

I'm sorry, I was so busy moving off to the next story, I didn't bother to grab one. It's somewhere on FF.net, but somehow I doubt that would be very much help

 

I'm sure it's been mentioned at least once, but stories where Snape is suddenly a loving, caring individual who really was just showing Harry how much he, uh, cared for him? Or something retarded like that.

Similarly, stories where Snape is a complete bastard who takes pleasure in torturing eleven year olds and spends his time inbetween classes beating off in the potions dungeon to the memory of their terrified little faces bug me too.

He's an ugly, greasy asshole for sure, but people who write shitty characterizations where he's a sputtering, angry idiot make me a sad panda.

 

Ah, but while he isn't exactly an idiot, he does seem to enjoy insulting people: We can see this in the books quite a few times, beginning with his first year speech where he calls his usual students "dunderhead" or something like that. He also enjoy putting Hermione down because she is a "know it all", and called Lily Potter/Evan a mudblood even though she was helping him, and was an exeptionnal student herself in Potion.

So we can say that Snape has trouble when it comes to loving or even respecting others. Of course, he shows a certain restraint in insulting people...as long as they are not Harry potter, a friend of Harry, or a menber of Griffyindor (Neville).

Sorry for the OT.

-Luna being a seer, and getting better just because Harry or Hermione find a "cure".

- Harry getting ultra good in arithmancy in a summer...


Ps: I wonder if Phoenix are that rare, why do Ollivander talk about phoenix tail as a major core for wands? Another of JK's mess?

 

Most of the big ones seem to be listed already, so I just have a small one.

-the phrase "or I'll hex you into next week" or any variation there of, drives me insane. While I could handle it the first few times I came across it, enough already.

Its to the point now that I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I come across this. Seriously, its becoming an issue, the stomach acid is starting to burn my throat and its making it difficult for me to eat spicy foods.

EnigmaDecoder

 

I'll Hex you into Oblivion!"

...

Fucking bring it, Ginslut. Redheaded goddess my ass...

I'm sick and fucking tired of seeing independent!Harry stories go wrong. What part of the word Independent is so hard for people to fucking understand?

Jesus...why must these stories fall into the same path as all other ones? IMO - In my opinion - Indy!Harry cannot have a relationship with any of the Canon!Pairing females, i.e. Hermy/Ginny. He loses all fucking credibility when he begins worshipping them.

These stories begin with a typical owl-order/time-turner/dark-arts-book manner of reaching Wizarding awesomeness within a few weeks. Then, this line fucking pops out, and stabs you in the face repeatedly:

she has such beautiful brown eyes/red hair...what?! Did i just think of Ginny/Hermione like that?

OMFG.

Thats all i have to say. Oh my fucking god.

To these preteen/immature little fuckers who write these literary abortions, i have this to say:

Love is NOT a fucking eureka! moment, assholes. Let your balls drop/wait the required 3 more years/put away your fantasies and wake the fuck up!

Therefore, i also say this: If you have never been in a relationship, don't write one. If you have no experience with nuclear fission, you wouldn't write a fic about that...in the same way, don't fucking do it. You're spreading your inexpertise and causing millions of other retards made of the same mold as you to FAIL at life.

Back to my main point: Why do Indy!Harry stories go off track when its H/G or H/Hr?

Simple.

Ginny and Hermione are always stronger/smarter characters than Harry is. Not necessarily in Magical Power...just personality. They are ALWAYS the take-charge character that HARRY is supposed to be. THey make radical decisions, and basically decide what happens when. So, in effect, Lord Harry James Potter Black Evans Gryffindor Slytherin Hufflepuff Ravenclaw Merlin Emrys Dracula Mab Saotome is the following:

- obedient
- timid
- domesticated
- insignificant
- discarded

Yes, discarded. Inevitably, the reader's, and consequently the author's attention is drawn onto Herman/Ginny, and that secondary character is developed, and Harry's character dwindles away.

Independent!Harry cannot IMO exist when he is paired with Hermione/Ginny.

EDIT: I'd love to see a fic where Ginny's Bat-Bogey, for all its venerated 'awesomeness', is beaten to the ground by a pathetic excuse for a wizard. Like Harry, in the above fics

 

^ That really was a beautiful display of rantage. I wholeheartedly agree....

 

I don't know if this was discussed or not but, Friendly dudely/Vernon. After a 15 minute speech about how harry's life in the wizarding world is the dursleys are so overwhelmed with grief that they make up with harry. Face it IMO Vernon and dudley and petunia or any other dursley relation will always hate harry.