I agree with the posters before me: this fic is at best a guilty pleasure, and at worst a huge waste of 300,000 words. We do need more quality HP/SW crossovers, but quality shouldn't be thrown to the wayside for them.

 

I have this epic way to mess with both the sith and Jedi. Use the resurrection to make animated portraits of master force users through out galactic history. Then send them to the temple. Let the lord of chaos rule.

 

Well, this fic is more passively annoying as a waste of potential. Noodlehammer is antagonistically annoying. Beyond the eccentric nonsense of this story's Harry I can also still see the substance of the canon character. Noodlehammer's Harry is a complete personality replacement.

 

And this Harry isn't a personality replacement?

 

As I said I see still see parts of the original character attributes in this one. But I don't say this one is a quality read though.

 

That's the influence of the co-author plums. He has some sort of irrational, pathological hatred of the Jedi Order.

Personally, I think the two exacerbate the existing bad habits of each other as authors. Plums favors 'competent', powerful, but judgmental Harry Potters, whereas kathryn writes powerful but emotionally/mentally unstable HPs with a penchant for drama. Both seem to like harem stories. The combination is as you see before you, made worse by their pattern of pre-writing multiple chapters before releasing at most one or two a year. This allows for increased self-indulgence as their tendencies feed on each other without external review, not that FFn provides much in the way of useful critique.

 

As soon as I saw Plums' name attached at one point, I was pretty much done with wondering what direction this story was going to go. It's a cool idea, and there are some good concepts, but they're both authors that if you've read one story by them, you've read them all. Meh/5.

 

^ I'd offer a bit of a defense to plums. At least in his story the characters actually get around to fucking. This is just insanity, if things continue like this it'll literally be as long as the entirety of the LOTR before anything happens.

Also I feel the comparison with noodle hammer has its validity, both author's get reaaally preachy at points in their story; kathryn about her perceived hypocrisy of characters and noodle about how grimdark/edgelord/hypocritical/meaningless everyone and everything is/

 

This is a story with not much plot but humor readily available. If you are looking for character development and a good overriding arch, this is not the story for you.

However if you enjoy super!harry and are looking for a laugh, go for it.

2/5

 

Wtf kind of story is marked as Romance and the main characters haven't even kissed after 320k words?

1/5

 

I'm going to be in the minority but I like it. kathryns only fic I like, but I like it. Mostly because her speeches about the Jedi order. She voices most of my pet peeves for the SW universe.

4/5

 

If Star Wars fics in general have a 1% chance of being good (probably far too generous, but let's go with that), any Star Wars fanfic with a Twilek or Togruta waifu for the main character brings those odds down to .0000001%. Both at the same time? 0% flat. I personally guarantee that there never has been and never will be a good fanfic of that kind.

It's not entirely clear why these two species in particular are so appealing to a certain variety of bad writer (the correlation between Togruta/Twilek waifus and cringeworthy indy-Harry style anti-Jedi speeches is especially notable), but the evidence is there. I don't like to stereotype by chalking it up to stunted social development and a lack of success with human women/men in real life, but if the shoe fits...

In any case, this fic does not prove me wrong.

2/5 if only because it's actually recognizable as English.

 

Personally I don't care if Harry is completely out of character because I'm more attached to the world and his powers than to the little orphan himself. But, that is irrelevant when the new personality is just hot garbage like this.

Listen if anybody has the fortitude to slog through every chapter of this then I'd also wager on them being stubborn enough to climb Everest in a pair of Speedos, because this is just plain bad.

1/5

 

As the author of this fic, I was directed to DLP as it might offer feedback to my stories.

I've read through the posts, and some of you have valid points and are things I am trying to work on.

I'm sorry many of you don't like the personalities or dynamics or interactions. Truthfully the dynamics and interactions aren't likely going to change. I enjoy writing those.


Yes, Harry would have broken his neck if someone had kicked the soapbox he was standing on at various points. He's also not received a punch in the gut that is going to happen. (And no. Palpatine doesn't suddenly become an expert at magic)


No, I don't have a great grasp of pacing. It's something I struggle with quite a bit. I'm working on it, but have a tendency to want to analyze everyone all the time about everything. I also try to write about down time. About how characters develop, so they're not abruptly moved from point A to point B. So figuring out what is necessary and what isn't... is harder for me.

If anyone has any sort of... you know... actual constructive advice, I'm always more than happy to listen.


Thanks for the insight.

 

Make all your chapters <10k words. It will help with your pacing issues.

Your fics are so frustrating because they have a lot of potential that is always squandered.

 

I think the glaring thing with it, as has been aptly covered here, is the need to just get on with it - with everything. My two points of contention, if you were going to change anything, would be:

-The hatred Harry has for the Jedi makes this a borderline bashing fic. Never a good thing, in these parts at least. Either label it as such, or have one last rant and move on.

-If they're eventually going to bang, let's have it already. As I said before, this was where I knew it was going as soon as Plums' name came up - a gazillion words about the tension, and blueballs the size of grapefruits. If this was where you were going to go with it too, then write what you want and all, but as you can see, I'm definitely not the only one thinking this.

You said it yourself there, you like to write more about downtime and personal dynamics/interactions - I have seen a lot (a LOT) of stories, and know that there are plenty of people that love that stuff, and love the way you're doing it. Hey, if that's what you want to do, then it's your story, and that's cool. Obviously you're making someone happy - 4k reviews on this alone means someone loves it. This just happens to be a very particularly niche-y corner of the fanfiction world, and it's one of the few places where this type of stuff isn't going to be as well-received as others.

You've got perfectly good writing skills, there are practically no grammatical or punctuation flubs, it's a cool premise, and the action is quite enjoyable. But as soon as we get any time with just the characters interacting, I just want to skip it all. Can't please everyone, and you'll make yourself miserable trying to. I'm still going to read whatever you put out, because the rest of it is pretty cool (well, unless it's the twilight fic, a man has to have a line he won't cross), but I'll grumble about the parts I mentioned.