you understand it but everyone realises that math is stupid and noone uses math anymore.

I wish I could create alternate dimensions and hop to them whenever I want.

 

You hop to one with H/G everywhere and the portal breaks. You. Are. Stuck. Owned.

I wish someone *looks at DGD* would lock this thread.

 

DGD locks this thread but then it gets reopened thanks to popular demand.

I wish I didn't have to worry about getting diabetes.

 

You get shot in the head by a mad gunman. No need to worry about diabetes now.

I wish I had more money than I knew what to do with.

 

You don't know what to do with the money and burn it. Everything.

I wish for good grades on my final exams.

 

You get the best grades in your year, but then Stewie Griffin shoots you in both knees and sets you on fire for not paying him the money you owed him.

I wish I had a Time Machine (think Back to the Future's Delorian).

 

You travel back to the Dark Age. A red-haired witch by the name of Ginevra forces you to marry her. You cannot escape.

I wish for no harm to befall me.

 

No harm can befall you however the earth is blown up due to a nuclear war, you drift in space for the rest of time un-able to die.

I wish for nothingness

 

You wish and nothing happens.

I wish for a faster computer.

 

your computer is so fast it blows up.

i wish this thread would die and anyone who answers this thread after this post dies the most horrible death.

 

You get your wish, but when I am struck down, I become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

EDIT: I wish I had a pet turtle

 

you get a pet turtle, but it eats your spleen while you pass out after a huge party


I wish that I was the wealthiest person ever

 

you find a penny on the street corner and then everyone but you dies you are now the richest person in the world.

I wish that ff.net would enact a no slash fiction and hg policy.

 

It does enact the policy, but it bans all other fanfiction as well, it decides to close itself down. You have no choice but to search for another fanfiction website that ends up being 99% slash or hg with only 0.01% of cool harry stories (the extra 0.09% are songfics!)

I wish i had exactly 3.1 million pounds in cash, delivered to me by Mr. T, and then mr T saved me and the world from anything bad that might happen to us.

 

You get the 3.1 million pounds in cash delivered by mr.T. My avatar sees you walking down the street w/ mr.T and pulls out an AK-47 then proceeds to shoot at you Mr.T then takes all the bullets for himself saving your life and in the process dieing. My ava then runs out of bullets and reloads.... The police later find your bloody and mangled body in the sewers.

I wish for DLP to take over the Internet! (mwahahaha!)

 

DLP takes over the internet, but then DLP is taken over by all the sickoes in the harry potter fandom (you know who i'm talkin about!). Now your wish has not only ruined the whole of DLP, but the whole of the internet, foo'.

I wish i had magical powers, and i was not hunted down by crazy muggles ('non-magic folk.') and burnt, maimed, killed etc...

 

You get your wish but you are discovered by Lord Voldemort who tortures you with the Crucio till your brain pours out your ears.

I wish I had night vision.

 

You get night vision but lose your day vision, now your blind during the day, and you sleep at night, so you shall never be able to see again.

I wish for the da vinci code movie on DVD

 

You get a pirated copy of The Da Vinci Code which screws up your DVD player.

I wish I had a swimming pool full of beer.

 

You are teh coolest dude on da block! You have a swimming pool full of beer!
Unfortunatley its radioactive beer from area 51 and since you didn't know this you went ahead and swam in it anyway. Guess you'll never have a gender anymore.

I wish for 10,000,000 dollars so I could buy my own personel army loayal to me to guard me so nothing bad ever goes wrong in existance.Forever.