Her boyfriend beats you shortly afterwards.

I wish I had something to say.

 

You say it but everyone ignores you, leading you to go emo.

I wish nintendo hadn't renamed the revolution

 

No fucking way! They did! I mean that...no one in nitendo would be able to agree on the name and they never come out with the system, setting for another crappy Harry Potter game.

I wish I was able to write go fanfiction.

 

It ends up buried under 10 tons of slash and H/G fanfic and it never gets read.

I wish i was stronger

 

You become so strong that you are labeled a danger to society and are put down 'for your own good'.

I wish that I could write good music.

 

Then no one would realize that it's good music and would continue to listen to Ashley Simpson and Britney Spears.

I wish I knew how to play the piano.

 

Someone places a bomb inside the piano and when you hit a specific note it explodes.

I wish I could complete Second Sight (for (PS2)

 

You finish it but then you realize how much time you spent playing the game.

I wish for incredible stamina.

 

You become Ginnys new shag toy

I wish I had a new computer

 

Once you get it, it'll break down after 3 months and those lazy bastards from Dell won't get off their asses to fix it making you buy another.

I wish I was on the track team.

 

whilst running you get beheaded when running hurdles

I wish i could fly

 

You're able to fly but one day you fly too high, realize you can't breathe that high in the atmosphere, and plummet to you death.

I wished I had a GOOD laptop. (Dell Jackasses)

 

You get a super cool laptop, but a burgalar breaks in, shoots you, and steals it.

I wish I wasn't failing algebra.

 

you pass algebra but then all the dumass's in your school beat you to death for being a geek.

I wish i had xray vision

 

You see snape in hte shower and go blind.

I wish I had a Nice sister

 

Your sister is so sickeningly sweet and nice that she drives you insane.

I wish that I could come up with a wish that had nothing wrong with it.

 

You kill yourself when you waste a wish so you could think of a great wish.

I wish for happiness around the world.

 

You wish for happiness and everyone ends up acting like Richard Simmons. ( Who has to be on some kind of Prozac or something)

I wish I was a great historian.

 

you discover who killed someone famous. then, that person kills you.

I wish that i had a liftime supply of potatoes

 

You get them and find out they're all spoiled.

I wish I owned Microsoft.