You become a CEO of a large company: ENRON.

I wish I had a better cell phone.

 

You have a really good cellphone, but the actual cellphone plan is horrible, and you have to pay like $1000000 per minute.

I wish my mind was an infinte fountian of creativity.

 

infinte fountian of creativity.. meaning new ideas for h/g fanfics



i wish i was great at singing

 

You are great at singing, but noone buys your songs because they are such imbeciles.

I wish my evil, lazy co-worker would do some work for once.

 

they do so much work there is no need for you and your fired

I wish I could sleep in

 

You sleep in so much that you fall into a coma.

I wish people on this forum would read my topics. (blatant self-endorsement)

 

Everyone in the world tries to read them and the internet crashs

I wish I had a magic lamp with a genie (sp?) in it.

 

You drop the lamp into a Aladin-esque pit of hot lava.

I wish I had a complete archive of all good HP crossovers..

 

You get it but then it gets delated when you computer crashs.

I wish there were more Independant Harry Fan fics.

 

And in all of them Harry is paired with Ginny.

I wish I had a collection of good romance fics. Without Ginny, Draco, or Snape.

 

You find the fics, but they are romances between Harry and Dumbledore!

I wish I could stop time.

 

you stop time but can never start it agian

I wish i could grant any of my own wishes when i say "I wish" without the emotion of hate or anger.

 

whilst happy you say "I wish this day would never end" and get stuck in a groundhog day spiral.

I wish I could drive race cars.

 

You crash and burn, slowly dying.

I wish my friends had anything resembling sanity.

 

Your friends have sanity, but now that they are sane you find them very drab and boring.

I wish I could finish my new avatar.

 

Your new avatar comes complete with x amount of viruses that make you computer crash, your internet connection explode and the socket never work again.

I wish I had a high-def TV

 

As soon as you turn it on the screen goes out.

I wish I had a Xbox 360. That couldn't break or be harmed in any way.

 

You realize that the 360 isn't all that, and Microsoft soon comes out with another, better system that you don't have the money for.

I wish I could solve Math problems instantly.

 

Then I'll find you and make you do all of my math homework until you pass out.

I wish I can go home, this dorm sucks.

 

You go back to your old home to find that a bunch of ginny fangirls live in it now.

I wish I had a thousand more wishes