OK I admit that I may have listened to Big & Rich's Horse Of A Different Color way to many times.

But this idea came to me after listening to one of my favorite songs from the album.

So the idea is one day Harry simply asks the Order, Snape, the other teachers, his classmates, the Slytherin's & maybe a few captured Deatheaters or even Voldie himself the simple question.

Why does everybody want to Kick My Ass?

What answers do you think he will get?

 

I do not forsee this thread ending well.

 

Dumbledore: Ah, I can't tell you till the fifth book. Authors have special methods of answering important questions like this - like setting aside 800 worthless pages of filler and bullshit, chugging along till we spring upon you the obvious connection between you and Voldemort in the last twenty minutes after you lose someone very close to you. This is very tense and not at all hackery as an author.

Voldemort: Because I fail as a Dark Lord and seek to beat you by hatching vague plots, like portkeying a trophy you may never win and expecting you to come to the Department of Mysteries unaided. That you do achieve both is just the author needing to move the plot forward as quickly as possible.