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If the Harry Potter characters where muggles what would they do for a living?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Peter North, Aug 29, 2016.

  1. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Pottermore had a little blurb called: What jobs would Harry Potter characters have in the real world?

    To simplify the article:

    Hermione Granger – Charity worker
    Neville Longbottom – Landscape gardener
    Molly Weasley – Hotelier
    Luna Lovegood – Artist
    Harry Potter – MI5 (Classified)
    Sirius Black – Professional dog walker

    Does DLP agree with these professions for the characters, or do you think that these characters would have other jobs?

    What do you think other characters would do if they had muggle jobs?

    For some reason I see Albus Dumbledore as a life coach and Dung as a Big Tobacco lobbyist.
     
  2. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    ...seriously?
     
  3. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Seriously.
     
  4. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

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    Wow, Pottermore has fallen pretty far. That's some buzzfeed level content. Probably written by an intern.
     
  5. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    To be honest, most characters would have their canon jobs, just in the non-magical equivalents.

    Everyday we sink further into the abyss.
     
  6. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

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    Hmm...

    You know, given the recent debate over Hermione's race, there's something about that page that feels like either very subtle bait, or nearly subliminal pandering, depending on which side of the debate you fall on.

    Hehe.

    [​IMG]

    Hermione Granger - Charity worker... and the waitress's surroundings even make it look like she might be volunteering in some kind of soup kitchen.

    It's not until you get past Hermione's entry in the article that you see the picture for each person actually follows their paragraph, rather than preceding it... and in Hermione's case, the relevant picture is an illustration of Harry, Ron, and herself with the elves in the Hogwarts kitchens, where Hermione is a faceless, robed, figure, about 10 pixels tall and partially obscured by Ron.

    [​IMG]

    Either the waitress was simply their best option when they needed a Harry Potter screengrab showing a muggle career, and this is all very coincidental, or whatever intern put this together is some kind of mad genius troll.
    "Buzzfeed level" indeed.
     
  7. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    When I picture Hermione Granger this is what I see. Whether she's White, Black or even Asian. I don't see a charity worker but more like a humanitarian. This race BS just makes me wish Rowling stuck to the seven books.

    In all honesty though I created this thread to see some interesting ideas on what you think these characters might do if they had muggle jobs, and maybe chuckle a bit. Not to talk about the fall of pottermore.
     
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2016
  8. Warlocke

    Warlocke Prisoner

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    Understandable, but since it's the seed of this discussion...

    Given that they made Sirius a professional dog walker, the article can be safely ignored in its entirety. That's some lazy-ass bullshit.

    Still, I'm kind of mystified at how they could make Harry Potter an MI5 agent (fair enough... I guess) but have Neville as a Landscape Gardener rather than, say, a botanist.

    Of course there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a landscaper and, hell, if I had the requisite skills I could see myself being quite satisfied by that line of work. It's just that with Neville's apparent skill level, that seems to be somewhat low-hanging fruit. He became the herbology professor of what we are repeatedly told is THE best school of magic. Wouldn't the muggle equivalent be more along the lines of a college professor specializing in botany? I'd expect to find him genetically engineering super crops or running simulations for a new space-based hydroponics lab.

    Molly running a B&B?
    Okay, I know this is going to blow some people's minds, but the muggle equivalent of a witch who is happy to be an opinionated homemaker and mother with a hidden talent for skilled violence, is...

    A woman who is happy to be an opinionated homemaker and mother with a hidden talent for skilled violence. And there ain't nothin' wrong with that.

    They got Ron right, because he's not mentioned as having any career at all. :awesome

    Luna they got right, though I could also see her as some sort of new age type, reading people's auras and selling homeopathic remedies... if school administrators didn't look at her fanciful claims, odd mannerisms, and the way she's bullied in school, and decide to unfairly expel her before she can become the next school shooter.

    Besides, given a muggle version of Harry's upbringing and subsequent trials, it's obvious that his future career is combat butler. :sherlock:
     
  9. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I can agree with you on all these points. I think whoever wrote this article was either ignorant of the higher levels of some of these jobs and how they translated to their muggle/magical equivalents or was simply too lazy to think up decent job ideas.

    Hermione in charity really?I think Humanitarian is more likely.

    Why would a guy like Sirius settle for a dog walker when he could have been a pimp.

    Harry I can definitely see working for MI5 orphans make the best recruits after all.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Agent One

    Agent One Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Except the best translation of Auror to a muggle equivalent would be a Police Officer. Aurors don't do their work in secret.

    I've always thought of an Unspeakable as the wozarding equivalent of an MI5 agent.

    And, if we're going with Cursed Child, Hermione would most likely be Prime Minister.
     
  11. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

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    This is bullshit.

    Neville likes gardening, so he'd be a gardener!

    Hobbies and interests in school do not always equate to careers. Even if you're really good at them. In the books Neville became a Professor - that's a perfectly normal muggle job, who is to say he wouldn't teach Botany?

    And Sirius, the disgraced aristocrat... a professional dog walker? If a muggle man with that much money, land, and notoriety wanted to indulge in a fondness for dogs he'd buy a pack of dogs and kennel them himself.

    Molly likes feeding people, she'd run a hotel! Because all muggle housewives with a dozen mouths to feed, who enjoy watching their own children eat what they've prepared, dream of running a hotel for strangers.

    Sure the suggested jobs could still be viable. There are people who want those jobs, and people with aligned interest who get them.

    This just smacks of someone selecting a single character trait and typing it into google alongside the word 'careers' to see what they got. "Neville likes plants so he'd be a landscaper! Hermione did SPEW so that would set the tone for her entire career, despite a myriad of other interests and a vast skillset!" Yeah, no.
     
  12. FairElffin

    FairElffin Squib

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    >>Does DLP agree with these professions for the characters, or do you think that these characters would have other jobs?

    Looks like a pretty firm no to this one. I like Dung as a lobbyist. Going to go with Dumbledore as some sort of televangelist.

    I'd be really curious to see how the students would be affected by being part of a more traditional schooling system. For example, with a Neville who doesn't have a Plant Biology class starting in his first year of school (I sure didn't), who knows how he turns out? And Muggle Neville doesn't have to worry about a malfunctioning wand, since, ...
     
  13. Agent One

    Agent One Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    And why wouldn't Dumbledore just be a teacher?

    Neville could still go into Botany. In the muggle world, people's lives don't revolve around school. The reason he's good at Herbology is probably cause he's the one that tends the garden at his home.
     
  14. Azreal

    Azreal Squib

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    Luna could be an artist, certainly-- but she could also be an astrologer. Despite the fact that her readings and predictions would be based on and shrouded in nonsense, she has a keen but unique eye for what's troubling people and what might help them. I think her advice would what nuggets of good sense and real insight.
     
  15. pantherasapiens

    pantherasapiens Squib

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    Wasn't Hermione also a nasty teacher in one of the Cursed Child alt-histories, when Ron wasn't there? It does imply Ron has some kind of... calming influence or something.

    Ron, the therapist...

    I do wish that list had had a few other characters on it, though. The various Professors, for example. Or Mad-Eye Moody, who would (I think) fit MI5 better than Harry Potter would.

    (Really, if being good at Herbology makes Neville a landscaper, Harry would just be another football star or something.)
     
  16. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

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    Lucius would be a crime lord. Voldemort would be a dictator somewhere, running his country via his control of crime lords.
     
  17. Saezots

    Saezots Seventh Year

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    Feel like Dumbledore would be a scholar say a university professor or better yet a philosopher after all For the Greater Good
     
  18. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    That's Grindelwald's phrase, not Dumbledore's.
     
  19. Saezots

    Saezots Seventh Year

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    I kinda headcanon it as they made it up together an when Grindelwald coined it Dumbledore quietly separated from it fully leaving behind his ideas. There's a canon letter from him on the wiki yeah? Where he says it? Wonder if Grindelwald would be a philosopher.. Philosophers Stone
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2016
  20. reyau

    reyau Squib

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    Hermione would probably be a human rights activist and/or politician.

    Harry obviously a cop.

    George and Ron are running joke shops same as canon, though in the muggle world that's less impressive.

    Dung is your local drug dealer.

    All the teachers are just teachers.

    Remus is unemployed because of health reasons.

    Sirius in unemployed because he's rich.

    In canon Luna becomes some type of magical zoologist who looks for unknown creatures, so she would probably be an explorer in the muggle world or any other profession that involves traveling to exotic places. I can picture her as an anthropologist living among uncontacted tribes in the amazon. She could also be the town weirdo, looking for bigfoot and what-not, writing blogs about it and making documentaries for discovery channel or nat geo.
     
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