Indeed. Thus I suggest a remedy to this disheartening situation.

 

Damn Vash! You went to the trouble of starting a petition about me. I feel honored! I went looking for your petition to sign it and I couldn't find it. Sadly, like the few things I've seen you try, it lacks the commitment to last more than a couple of days.

If it makes you feel better, odds are some other newbie will be joining soon, and you can bust their chops and feel superior to someone.

Jim

 

o.o

I should be offended by this, i suppose? Nay, I say. I only furthered Bio's Just Ban Every Retard Now movement. Only by coincidence is it abbreviated to your name.

And the bastards deleted it after a day and a half. The fucks. Do they not understand out blight? Do they truly wish this glorious society to wallow in the retardation of fangirls and the IM/MySpace Generation?

HEATHENS I SAY! TO ARMS MY BROTHERS, TO ARMS! CRY HAVOC AND AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR! If the rest of the world will leave us to this plague, then we must rend ourselves free of it alone!

 

I can't wait till I'm 40, out of work, and wifeless so I can devote it to non profitable hobbies as energetically as you have.

Maybe I'll create stories I don't really feel good about it and ask what people want so I can get reviews.

 

Well, I'm pushing the big 40, but not quite there yet. Gainfully employed, happily married and generally enjoying my life.

You on the other hand I coulds see your prediction happening to. You don't really add anything positive to the site. You're not a Bioplague, you're digital herpes - socially offensive, standing out in a crowd in a bad way, something that can be treated, but not quite gotten rid of. People who hang around you start to act like their infected with the same level of 'coolness' that you exude. I like how in your sig line you brag about the people you've gotten rid of.

If I wrote what people wanted, I'd write a bunch of H/G and H/Hr fics. Nah, I'll stick to writing what I want and mocking you.

Jim

 

I've got a great idea:

Go measure your e-peens -- and if it's a tie, find somewhere private to measure the real ones.

 

LOL

LOL

One more: LOL

 

I'm sorry you feel that way. I should point out that the majority of your reply was in the so called net speak that we here at DLP abhor. In the future, I would ask that you attempt to converse in complete sentences. Even if you make the effort, it would be appreciated. We'll understand if your grasp of the English language is feeble and perhaps even offer some advice on how you can improve along with our usual witty banter.

By the standards we apply to the new arrivals to the site, you'd be a candidate for your own Just Ban Every Retard Now movement.

Respectfully,
Jim

 

Girls! Girls! You're both Pretty!

 

Boa, I want Merrill -- he's younger. . . Jim's a great guy so you two'll have fun too

 

Don't make me go all Fatal Attraction on your ass.

 

lulz No fighting in the newbies thread boys. Thread hijacking is a no-no. No matter how lulzly it is.

 

Fine. We can both share Merrills ass while Jim watches.

 

*clapps hands* Oh, how delightful!

Honey, I won't do you the dignity of raping you.

 

Correction: Privilege

 

No. You're only sorry that I found everything you posted laughable. Oh, and that I can't be brought to actually respond or care for what you say since it's just psycho babble from a forty year old who uses 'gainfully' to help describe his employment as a janitor.

That's also why you had to visit this same thread, several times, before thinking up something to post. Too amusing.

I cbf; tl-dr; ead*. Also amusing: the usage of we, as if you're 'DLP'. Sorry, jbern, you're just PP3 garbage. If you want to use we, you'll either need to hitch it to PP3 or sidestep to Robocerv where we keep the DLP rejects.

By the standards we apply to each fanfiction story, your's, a 3.8, would be in the trash bin.

Somethings just happen, don't they?

*Eat a dick

 

Don't know who the janitor is you're talking about BP. Last I checked, I'm a Network Engineer (does things with computers all day). It even says it in my profile.

The sarcastic post was just me doing the same posturing that you do all the time. I seem to recall several posts over your history where you adopt the same tone. Then of course, there was your famous 'I'll turn into a nice guy' for a week.

Face it, you bring nothing useful to the forums except entertainment for those who actually like watching you be a dick to people. You're a cheap insult comic who's act is sad, tired, and frankly not very good.

I like how you go after me for having fanboys, but I've never had people asking the admins 'please don't get rid of JBern'. How's that make you feel there fungus boy? It was amusing to watch you scurry around creating threads trying to prove your worth and validate your pathetic existence when Vash got de-admined. The little internet bully was in danger of losing his little playground, awwwwwww.

You can post all the LOL's and whatnot (funny how that's your standard reponse when someone calls you out), run off to the IRC channel and tell everyone that you owned me - a few idiots might even believe you.

If I was that interested in pumping up my rating for my current fic, I suppose I'd go ask all the fans to go vote for it. I don't need the validation. I wasn't the one bitching after the DLP awards this year (or the one before that). By the way how's the big plan to fix them so the voting is 'right' this year coming? Again, you're all talk and no action.

So let's summarize: You don't write anymore. You stir up shit and make lots of noise about doing things, but when push comes to shove can't back anything up. You can whine like an emo prick with the best of them. The only thing you can do is be a dick but you're not that clever. You're just the guy who screams FU at someone until they get tired and go away.

For the $10 Amerision bet that this guy followed the link in my profile, I'll go $10 says you actually started trying to write something for the challenge, but gave up because you wouldn't know an original idea if you saw one. I've still got the PM where you say you've got something for the contest but if I want to call it off whatever...Here's a copy.

< - Still in contest. But, w/e. If you're not in the mood for it, I'll understand.

I've been working on the first chapter for about a week now, trying to fine-tune and build my plot for the entire story (and adding to the first chapter were necessary) so I don't get too stuck.

Give me time (about 2-3 days at the least) if you're still serious about it. I scrapped what I originally had and re-wrote it early yesterday.

- BP.

Like everything else I've seen from you, it reeks of disgrace and failure. Well, I've wasted enough time on you.

Jim

 

I smell a truck load of unresolved sexual tension here. This is not the place for such a discussion. Take it to PM's.

 

Help me climb over the wall of bullshit.

Reality check, janitor:

Providing fanfiction is not a contribution to DLP.net in an of itself. You *don't* do anything for DLP except get people who haven't posted more than 10 times to vote for you, which is commendable. But take it personally.

On the other hand, I try to make creative topics and start discussions and flame morons (you) on a forum. Never mind the fact that during the entire Vash debacle, I didn't make a single, serious post and that it was my intention to grieve Yarrgh, MS and Taure into exploding (ask Xiph0, Vash, Jon or Syaoran). Then again, unless you're posturing (LOL), you bought that hook, line and sinker like most morons did and couldn't see it for what it was (a very good way to piss off a bunch of nerds).

Oh, and original ideas? I love that thought. I can just imagine myself buying me a book by Jim Bern (Or are you going to use J.A. Bern when you become a smash-hit author next year? Your middlename is Asshat, isn't it?). Sitting in my living room, starving because God's punished me for being mean, reading Bungle in Mediocrity, a story that has a sidekick who screams obscenities that seem vaguely familiar, like it might have belonged in a movie from Stanley Kubrick and involved Vietnam?

Haha, I get it! I see what you did there!



I sit on the edge of my seat, trembling with anticipation as I read about the main character who has no characteristics and of course is a sex god. Ah, and as I read the sequel, I see the odd quirky character from Book I suddenly explain it's all a joke! A great prank! She's quirky just to fool people she doesn't care about! How like the author she is, what with her bullshit drivel designed to fool people who think she's a moron! I get it, the laughs on them when they find out she's been joking... and then five minutes later get back to not giving a shit about the person.

But this is because the author is incapable of writing dynamic characters that have already been created!

What next, a Native American who delivers wisdom to the protagonist?



No matter, a great, original author has great inventions to fall back on! Like Dodgespell! (by the way, what the fuck is this shit? Dodgespell? Are you fucking kidding me, Jbern? You're fucking kidding me. That is some fucking Mexican shit right there. You sure your first name's not Juan?)

+ = ORIGINAL

Wow, how I aspire once again to be like Jbern who like everyone else, has written original Harry Potter fanfiction with so much depth, you could drown in it.

Such skill! Such passion! The great author with the ability to update mediocre storytelling on a weekly basis. Jbern!

Off the high horse, cocksucker.

Edit: I made some groovy pics to go along with the post.