Update.

I've been waiting for this confrontation for a while now, though I'm not too sure how I feel about how Gabriel handled it yet.

 

Yeah, I just don't care about this story anymore. It makes me sad that I will only finish reading it due to the sheer amount I have read before.

 

Shirou's personality seems to change every chapter :/

 

Tragic as this story's fail has become, I'll still enjoy the fights.

 

As a side note, that sums up the reason I still read Naruto and Bleach.

The chapter felt shorter than normal for some reason. With gabriel mentioning that he is going to re-introduce Saber and Rin at a later date, I was kinda hoping to see them show up soon. Probably at one of the next two arcs most likely.

Since I read the manga, I kinda saw this coming. Yukari gets kidnapped there too, so it wasn't too surprising, and with Shirou having a blood relation his rage at her kidnapping is expected. However, I was really expecting him to just fly into rescue mode and kill her captors immediately, or at least guarantee her safety above all else (without pussing out and forking over the Jinki). I had thought though that with the inclusion of actual blood family and a psychically bonded Sekirei harem we would see character development in that his 'distortion' would get lessened and he cares more about what's precious to him rather than focusing on the Path of the Shura. Y'know, more Heaven's Feel than Fate.

Overall, this chapter was a bit disappointing. The mask bit is starting to feel less like a failed attempt at a running joke and more like Shirou's rape-face, which I prefer. Nice to see that a genuinely badass character can actually intimidate people now, as opposed to the lack of respect he normally gets.

 

So I can safely say that I could not even get through the chapter this time. It's boring.

 

Oh god what. Seriously, he's a good author, but he's absolutely terrible at running gags and just forcing them in ;-;.

 

I honestly don't want Saber and Rin to show up. The whole harem thing has gotten so out of control that I've honestly started to hate this Shirou. I'd rather we just drag this fic behind the shed and put her down. That said one of the stories spawned from this, called A Soul of Fire, shows a lot of promise, and it has Nero in it.

 

It's terrible imo, the way the Church reacts to Sekirei is badly handled.

 

I enjoyed the chapter, but Shirou's character continues to get worse.

All his Sekirei basically just accept him the way he is. There's no one to really comment on how 'distorted' he is, no one else to provide a bit of perspective. The writing always portrays every aspect of him as positive, every decision he makes the correct one.

He is basically Archer. "You can't save everyone." Despite having strongly disagreed with that during UBW. Except he still manages to save everyone somehow. At least if Rin/Saber were here, someone could comment on how similar to Archer he has become and there could be some good internal conflict over that.

Still, I did enjoy the interaction with Miya at the start of the chapter (though should've been better), and this next fight could be cool (or it could be as dull as the Chiho rescue scene).

Maybe it's a point where Rin/Saber may be reintroduced? They could certainly increase the chances of successfully saving his sister.

I see it as a necessary evil. We'll have to deal with more annoying harem antics, but with Rin and Saber there someone may actually criticise Shirou for once. As much as may be the expert at this amongst the Sekirei plan, Saber has fought a hellova lot more wars than Shirou and Rin is probably on the same level as him.

 

My first thought when he said he was going to bring in Rin and Saber was "oh great, more flat characters." The story is just three times as long as it needs be with half the characterization it requires.

 

Yeah at this point my biggest fear is just how much Gabe will butcher Rin and Saber, two characters who are by no means boring or flat. I'm really tempted to just put this story down but I just can't find it in me after reading over (good god is it that many?) six hundred thousand words.

 

It's a shame; his other stories show that he can write good characters, but the cast is so large and the story so wordy with bland exposition that everyone's just flat. I really wish he'd just stuck with a single Sekrei; harems are almost never done well and this really isn't any exception.

 

I'm nowhere near as pessimistic as most of you. Despite the story's earlier flaws, I've really enjoyed the latest chapters, and am looking forward to the conclusion.

 

This later chapter was just like, serious mr serious and his adventures of generic harem.

I don't see any of FS/N anymore and Sekirei bores me.

 

All depends on what you expect from the story and characters in it. You need to like the social-oriented style of writing, but if you do - story is very good.

That said, I think Gabriel just made his first serious logic error in this story - the logic placing so much importance on Higa’s death is faulty. Sure, Higa is dangerous and may need to die. But it is not immediate danger. Nothing suddenly changed. Shirou can simply kill him later. As such, Shirou's approach and decision regarding priorities looks like poorly chosen plot device. Something artificially added rather that arising from situation.

Other thing, one that irks me in the whole story is fact that Shirou never once equated possibility of his death with possibility of demise of his whole flock. And he should have.

Those two points aside, I have very few complaint. I like the story, and I would argue that many things said earlier in the thread are well written/logical. Gabriel’s stories usually are internally consistent. For example - mentioned by Jarik lack of comments on Shiro being ‘distorted’. I see it as logical. Sekirei are aliens, devoted to their partners. If partner is vicious murderer with things for small children, they accept that and love him anyway. If he is sadist (or better yet sadistical rapist), they do the same. An ‘distortion’? Bah. Similarly with Shirou “being an Archer”. Ideals seen in younger Shirou are one component. Logic and knowledge of how world really works (experience in other words) is a second. Result of the mixing? That, which is seen in last chapter. No complaints from me here.

 

You do know that this point you brought up is completely wrong?

I like slice of life in my action/drama stories. It makes the characters feel alive and expands the world in more than endless fighting. This is why Shirou in his many adventures in say, Sakura with HF cooking, I enjoyed that.

What I don't like is 'social-oriented' writing when none of the characters are more than a bloody cardboard cutouts and rather boring, while being filled with words words words. Shirou is Serious Mr Generic Serious dude. He is Gabe's SI just using a pre-existing character. Matsu is a pervert. Akitsu did have an interesting start but now she has completely fallen into a slave that is a pervert. I am too lazy to continue how all the characters have changed 0% throughout the story. The physical change with Homura was just physical, but his character is still the same in the way he acts.

Really, I don't care to repeat what I've been saying a ton in the last posts about this, but what you just said offended me. This writing is not good, nor is it our fault for not liking it. It is like when people say horrible slash is good because one does not slash. It is still horrible regardless of what it is categorized as, but in this case I even like the 'social-oriented' topic that this story tries to imitate. The issue is the writing is bad, it is wordy, it is filled with flat OOC people, and it is emotionless.

 

Sure it's logical. You can argue that they'd never think anything but the world of him, no matter what he was. And being aliens they wouldn't really know how distorted his personality is. It makes sense.

Doesn't make it enjoyable to read. Character exploration, interaction and development are three really important things in any story. This story lacks all three. Shirou from canon is interesting *because* of his flaws, and through the three routes you explore that. In this story, due to the logical explaination you made, you don't get to see any of that at all.

As SmileofTheKill said, his harem are just cardboard cutouts. All of his actions lead to the same generic responses from each of his sekirei. The only character that he has a non-generic interaction with is Miya (and only in seldom interactions like the one in the latest chapter).


Now don't get me wrong. I still have hopes for this fic and enjoy it. I still got very excited when I saw an In Flight update. And everytime I still remain hopeful for the next chapter even when the latest one is a let down. But as enjoyable and fun as it is, there's a lot of very serious and fundamental problems with this story.

 

Just because I'm not as big as those Sekirei girls, or even Sakura, doesn't mean that I'm flat!