Title: Inquisitor Carrow and the GodEmperorless Heathens
Author: littlewhitecat
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Humor
Status: Complete with sequal in progress
Library Category: The Alternates
Pairings: N/A
Summary: The Wizarding World is devastated when Harry Potter disappears from his relatives' house in mysterious circumstances during the summer after his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Desperate to have their boy-hero back no matter what they really should have heeded the Muggle saying "be careful what you wish for". Crossover HP/WH40K.
Link: FanFiction.Net

This got recommended to me on a different site and it is one of the best new stories that I have read recently.

 

No. Just, no.

Poor characterisation, massive deus ex machina use, a completely ridiculous plot, clichés coming out of its ears... the list goes on. I don't know anything bout the 40K universe, and this fic isn't making me want to.

1/5

 

The concept is mildly amusing, but the story is utterly devoid of merit. 1/5 is, if anything, overly generous.

 

First line of second paragraph

All I need to know about story.
1/5

Edit; Took a look at to later chapter Harry starts to refer himself as Carrow ( why Carrow why?).
0/5 becouse it isn't even HINO at this point

Edit2: I tought it couldn't be worse but I was wrong. Oh for god sake Why the fuck Harry would keep a pet vampire.

Die Die DIE IN A NUCLEER FIRE this story should be PURGED IN THE NAME OF GOD-EMPEROR OF MAN KIND.

Since forum doesn't have an extarmunatus option , You are now on my ignore list.

 

Terrible.

Just terrible. I don't even feel irritated that I read this; just sad.

1/5 for HERESY.

EDIT: Really, who gave it a 5? You should feel bad.

 

:facepalm

No, just no. I couldn't get past the first chapter.

Check out the WBA section here in DLP or the DLP community on fanfiction.net. Most of them are well-written pieces of Harry Potter literature.

 

Since I was so bored, I decided to have a look at this and well, I think the best way to describe this would be as mediocre and as such I'm going to give it a 2.5/5. Sure it does have some really annoying cliches, like Harry angsting over bullshit, it did counter it with some good moments, such as "Carrow" thinking about how awesome his childhood was compared to average in 40k. Which brings me to my first big point against it, Carrow isn't Harry Potter, and the thing is though, he shouldn't be, he's lived ~300 years in a completely different environment and if he wasn't changed then it would be even wierder. But I don't care about some random 40k OC, I want to read about Harry Potter.

Which brings me to one of the good points about this fic, the hints of what could have been a good story. When we're told about how Harry had to adapt to life in the future, that shit is interesting, what kind of things did he do for his adoptive father, how was his magic treated, is magic the same thing as being a psyker, how did he become a space marine. So many things that could have been a good fic, but instead he get a fic about what has to be the most tolerant space marine ever. Because really, what kind of space marine takes a mutant/xeno as a pet instead of killing it, or the fact that he left the possessed Ginny alone for so long, the fuck.

But what really annoys me, is that every single time the fic started to get insteresting, it just went back to being boring. Every time an interesting plot point was brought up, something stupid happened, we had another senile Dumbledore moment, or Carrow being smug, or the fact that first Hermione, then random female OC and now Ginny are now surrounding Carrow...

So tl;dr the fic is meh, and I kinda wish the author had decided to write the backstory for this fic instead.

 

I'm with Mishie. This isn't anything standout awesome, but it is much better than the other crossovers in the same universes.

For the most part, the writing is decent. Easy to follow, and I never found a point where I misunderstood what was written, but at the same time, there was no point that was completely memorable.

The crossing over seemed a bit forced, and some of Harry's behaviour didn't fit with what I know of Space Marines, although other people have already pointed that out.

I'll be keeping an eye on the sequel, but I don't expect it to leap into greatness any point soon.

Probably a 2.5/5, down to 2/5, but I'd also say anyone interested in 40K should give it a go, despite low ratings.

 

The thing is, Space Marines simply doesn't act like that. But when they do they get this;

 

And it ends up as a massive clusterfuck for both the inquisition and the chapter.
And declaring certain marines heretic NEVER works.
Astartes are outside of Inquisition's sphere of influence and vice versa.

Space Marine Heretics get killed by other Space Marines. It's an internal matter. Look at Dark Angels.

As for the story, I have no hopes, but I'll probably take a short look.

 

Made it thru the first chapter

I made it thru the first chapter. Barely. And only because I wanted a decent platform to review. It's pretty awful. Very cliche, poor writing (especially transitions). 1/5.

 

Fine, I read most of it, and don't think my opinion will change anymore.

It's not a read to those who want a well tuned smart story, but rather for some amusement. In essence it is similar with its concept to the Natural 20 story that has gotten pretty good reviews despite being based essentially on the same premise.

The Inquisitor is obviously from a different world and the set of rules that he follows are very different - his is on the whole different class.

Disregarding the blatant errors in 40k setting - Psyker Inquisitor Space-marine is not something that happens, ever. (You could be a Librarian, and technically part of Deathwatch at best, but no Inquisitor has become a Marine and vice versa. If that was illegal operation, he can't claim to be puritan nor a space marine.)

In some ways, I have been amused even more than by the Natural 20 - from the whole clash of the wolds. The difference is simple. Where the dnd story takes itself with all the appropriate seriousness - that is none, this one tries to hold the fake premise of being somewhat serious at places. And that really changes the scales to it's disadvantage.
Also - Milo is at least challenged with good challenge. Here, the Space Marine stomps everything.


It gave me a couple of ideas that hopefully will go away, as I still don't think I would write them anyways.

So yeah, I'm giving it 2.5/5, and very reluctantly I'm going to round it up to three.

It does have a good grammar, a decent presentation, and is hilarious with its faux seriousness.
It doesn't really have Harry Potter.