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Complete Into the Fold by Pasi - T

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by SeverusTheKnight, Sep 13, 2020.

  1. SeverusTheKnight

    SeverusTheKnight Squib

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2020
    Messages:
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    Male
    Title: Into the Fold
    Author: Pasi
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action, Adventure
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Adventure/Drama, Angst
    Pairings: James/Lily Potter, but not the focus of the story.
    Summary: Severus Snape is going straight to hell. The people he calls his friends are helping him get there.
    Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147439/

    This is a well-written, criminally underread story. Events in Severus Snape's life are described. Two different time periods - the first, his Hogwarts days and the second, before Voldemort's "death" - meld across alternating chapters to explain why Severus was a trusted asset to both Voldemort and Dumbledore and what came of petty "schoolboy spats".

    Severus isn't a good guy, and he is not likable either. But it is his age that precludes him from punishment, and merges the black and white time periods to achieve a muddled persona, in tune with his works and expectations (his own and others). Worse, he thinks he holds the yoke.

    It provides a believable and fitting addition to canon, and extends the existing magic system very well. Giving away anything else would spoil the story.

    I think that if one did not care for the characters, this story could be summarized in a few thousand words. But even if that was done, the complete story would not lose its appeal, and this is one of its biggest strengths.
     
  2. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
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    1,087
    Location:
    Darujistan
    I've just started reading this, and my first impression is that it reads like an old Englishman's novel. I mean that in a very matter-of-fact way. The main draw, midway through the first chapter, is that Lord Voldemort feels sane. He feels human. He still feels like a man who needs wit, charm and skill to win over followers. On the flip side, the Death Eaters seem less like a terrorist organisation and more like a club: Lucius Malfoy wants to sponsor Severus to join.

    I'll add a review when I finish, but to anyone who wishes to get a feel of this story, I'd advise you to not go through it expecting canon characterisation from the outset. My first jolt from immersion was when Lucius decides to talk to (and explicitly not punish) Dobby and Lord Voldemort dissuades him from doing so, saying he found the elf amusing. The character voices don't really make sense, at least not in the beginning (where I am right now), and it kind of feels as if the characters are going to remain static. My expectation from this point onwards is that the story will develop the plot, but not the characters, a bit like a tale written in the nineteen tens or so when Britain still had an Empire.

    Here's hoping this develops well.

    Edit: LV mentioning his school days to Lucius Malfoy. This gets both weird and good at the same time.
     
  3. haphnepls

    haphnepls Second Year

    Joined:
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    So when I read the first chapter, and saw all the OOCiness, naturally, I expected the fic to be an AU version of the first war, but it wasn't. There are 42 chapters of showing us exactly what JK did in the Deadly Hallows, in the single chapter called The Prince's Tale.

    I was able to read through all of it, meaning that it was readable and engaging, more showing than telling, and all in all, a perfectly fine read, but I had a few issues with it.

    1. There's enough Moony, Paddy, Padfoot... business to make me gag. I mean if you went to mention it like once per chapter, couldn't you do it without it at all?

    "Hi, Padfoot," said Potter. "Remus, Peter." This line...

    2. There are two timelines going on, from the same POV, but with only a couple of years in between. I found it irritating and see no reason why the author couldn't tell it all linearly, so we can see the difference between Death Eater Snape and Slytherin schoolboy Snape. This way, the difference barely exists, and it reads like he didn't change that much (if any at all), even though there was the life-changing scenario included in the earlier timeline.

    3. Magic is used as something convenient for the plot. I don't mind light magic cliche that much (and few similar things), but every reasoning there is, is just a way for the author to have an easier time shifting Snape between dark and light. I really didn't like how the magic was handled in here.

    4. The fic is solely focused on Snape's shitty life, his growing stalking skills, and his obsession with Lily. I mean, sure, there are things happening around, but all of that is there just to help us understand poor Snape better; the sense of dread of the first war isn't strong enough, Dumbledore feels wrong, other characters' voices aren't that strong... Anyway, it is not enough for the story, and there was plenty of space to show us more about Snape's choices rather than another chapter of his mother. It would both add to the story and to the complexity of Snape's character.

    5. Finally, what I mentioned in the beginning, this is just the expanded version of The Prince's Tale. There are plenty of good scenes and dialogues in there, but in the end, it's just the closer look at something you're already aware of. It didn't make me feel better or worse about Snape because JK already created my opinion about him.

    So all that said, I still can't claim this is a bad story, because it's not, but like the OP said, it works better as the addition to the canon (without magic and characters who are OOC) than the story of its own, and that is why I can't go over 3/5. I'd give it 4 if only there was a better, stronger feel of war, uncertainty, and dread in the air.

    P.S. Thanks for a good read. I think this is the first Snape fic I've read that is over 100k words.
     
  4. Stan

    Stan Order Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    838
    I read this years back; I don't remember much about it now but it used to be one of my favorites back in the day. Here's the review I wrote back then: