Hello, all, I'm JB Steele, and I'm too lazy and distracted to remember to post an intro thread - plus I hate doing it. Here's my FFN profile stuff copypasta after this entry, which isn't up-to-date. See the 'too lazy and distracted' part above. To be honest, I don't even remember all the bullpuckey I made just for it. Besides, I don't think the FFN autofill button is working, possibly thanks to that Cloudflare stuff...

Also on AO3. May try one of the other sites, but would like suggestions on good ones. Debating getting one of my little unused Raspberry Pi's and making my own web server with my scribblings.

I like to lurk and read and collect fanfiction. I think I'm secretly a librarian at heart. Either that, or a packrat.

I do like puns and humor - sometimes questionable, usually smart humor.

Sadly, I have to mention that disabilities make it harder to actually write. Go spinal damage.

I would like to report (in my case) that working retail is harder than working in corrections. I make the (not-so--silly) joke that you can't tell customers to sit down and shut up.

I have self-published stuff under this pen name, and have an entry in one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Funny story: that entry involved a hospital stay for my ex-wife and was written after our divorce. I mentioned it to her at some gathering that I saw her at, and she immediately said "Where's my half of the payment?" I screwed up what little poker face I have and told her the truth: the editors excised every mention of her out of what I'd submitted... and I didn't tell her I accepted the editorial changes.

Um... maybe I can be petty if I'm really pushed...

Aside from that, I'm generally easy-going. The older and grayer I get, the more grumpy I get though. I didn't realize this in high school! Come to think about it, there's a lot of stuff I didn't realize in high school.

Oh well. More stuff to torture my writing characters with in whatever situation I choose to put them into. If I have to suffer, whine, bitch, moan, complain, so do they. Write what you know, right?

OK, I'm exaggerating for comedic effect. Not by much, though!

For what it's worth, here are the links for my FFN and AO3 pages.

I don't engage in a lot of forum stuff, simply because I forget it's there. I have a LinuxQuestions account that's been there for nearly twenty years and I have only 105 posts. I like it (and other forums) but I don't post. Same with my Twitter (not X) profile. Can't stand Facebook anymore.

Random thought. I like this green layout. It's easy on my aging eyes. I may have to yoink the color scheme for my Word layouts.

Also random thought. I do stream-of-consciousness a lot. Maybe that's why Luna Lovegood is probably my favorite Harry Potter character...

Any questions or whatever, send them to me. Just... be patient until I get around to checking and then answering them. I do have a new forum-type thing to learn after all. Or relearn, as the case may be.

---

Wait, you mean I have to have a profile set?

Well, poo.

What do I put in these things? They remind me of those cursed 'let's go around the table, introduce ourselves, and tell us about yourself' exercises.

I hate those.

I'm a native Floridian (sane variety, thankyouverymuch) and I'm disabled. So I have time available to read or write fanfiction. I like to take popular characters - depending on the winds of change - and put them in situations that would just knock us over juuuuust to see how they would get out of it or not.

Like say, Harry Potter having to figure out how in the world he'd going to explain to Dumbledore that the Westboro Baptist Church is at the gates. Or Jean-Luc Picard having to deal with Southern sweet tea (and I like my own, thank you, no lemon) or The Doctor wondering why the TARDIS is intent on getting back issues of the Kerblam! catalogs or Reepicheep and Puss in Boots going where everybody knows your name, or...

Well, you get the point. I don't want to reveal more since I might actually want to use those as plot points in the future. Hmm... maybe Reepicheep should find Ron Weasley.

If you're here, looking for something to read, I sincerely hope that you are entertained and have a sense of completion and satisfaction after finishing a story.

If that's not the case, then constructive criticism is always welcome even if I can be a little stubborn. I treasure and value all my readership.

I use the pen name JB Steele on other works, but it's all me. The Reverend John Beatty Steele is not me, as the clergyman was called home in 1884 and I'm still scribbling stuff as of 2021. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wasn't doing that before 1884. If that's actually the case, maybe that would explain some of my aches and pains.

Also, JBSteele on AO3 is me. As it turns out, I was lurking about reading on FFN before I decided to put digital pen to backlit paper and didn't see the point in changing my username from polarbear20000. It's probably evident, but I figured well, I should probably mention it.

In the meantime, onward! Further up and further in!

There has been a very confusing trend lately of people asking me to write something for them and then blocking me afterward. I don't mind that so much as I mind the atrocious spelling and grammar in the requests and the 'postings' of said people. Also, please don't ask me to write smut or violence. Practically everyone has requested just that. Not a story or a tale with interesting plots or feats of derring-do, but stuff you'd find in shady movie theaters with heavy breathing in the areas behind you and questionable substances on the seats.

Yes, I make use of violent stuff (Death Eaters aren't choirboys and Bellatrix Lestrange wasn't Mary Poppins) and I do have sexyish times in some of my stories - but that's not the whole of the story. There's more to what I write than certain bits in it.

Update 23 November 2020 - I am still safe from COVID-19. My natural grumpy hermit tendencies are still helping in that regard. Did you know that wearing glasses with face masks are a pain in the rear if you have a skull the size of mine?

Update 24 February, 2021 - A thought has struck. As I am not in the habit of using author notes within the text of my stories, I would rather place it here.

This is not something that I had thought of in the past. A reviewer made a note about one of the stories I've been posting on had a certain amount of followers versus a quite lower comparative number of reviews, and wanted to send me a very kind acknowledgement of the work I've been putting into the story to date. I had not even thought as much about reviews to this point as I was distracted by the actual writing. Please don't get me wrong, I appreciate every review I've been given. However, I'm not writing with the goal to collect a certain amount of reviews - I'm writing to tell a story. With any luck, that story will entertain the reader. Begging for reviews simply isn't my thing.

Having said that, I will admit that I find myself in an anticipatory state of mind when I notice that there is a new review that I haven't seen. At that point, I am quite curious.
The collection of readers that I have amassed to this point, and those in the future, are and will be appreciated greatly.

Along that line, with the thoughts that I tend to write stories requiring a "M" tag that doesn't always show up in searches unless specifically 'search all,' I ask that you add me to your favorite stories if you like my stories. Thank you!

Update 25 March, 2021 - I have gotten my first COVID vaccine shot, waiting for the time for the second. I really don't wanna sound like I'm whining (okay, I am whining, let's be honest) but damn that shot smarts like the dickens!

Captain's Log, Supplementary Update 19 July, 2021 - I got that second shot a week after the first and yep it ached.

For that matter, so did the third one.

-=- About Guest Reviews -=-

I cannot reply to guest reviews, and there apparently is a confusing trend starting with one- or two-letter reviews that make absolutely no sense to me. It's very perplexing. If there are readers doing this, I suppose I should thank you for caring enough to go through the process for 'reviewing,' but please, please, please -- make it a real review with actual words and thoughts behind them. Your favorite fanfiction writer (and not just me, mind) will only improve their craft with proper reviews.

-=- About My Writing Quirks -=-

'Timeline? What Timeline?'

I don't necessary chain myself to the canon HP Timeline, since there are oodles of things that a fractured timeline presents for plotlines. If it's in one of my stories and doesn't match up with what happened in Books 1-7, then I've either forgotten or I've intentionally messed up the timelines. As I pretty much always write AU with few exceptions, then that's why.

'Wordiness'

Sorry, I've always had this problem.

'Irregular Updates'

You'd be grumpy too, if you were irregular. Wait, that's a different subject.

'Britpicking'

Well, I could be better at this, but I'm not British and my mind works to a different culture - more or less.

'Continuity'

I've been thinking about this for a good bit along with the 'Timeline' section above. I'm pretty sure that I've narrowed it down to my writing being more influenced by the fandoms I write more than set within them. Particularly with the HP fandom I've decided that, like with Potters Echoes, An Owl's Delivery, and Domination, that I write more from my personal interpretation of what I've read and seen in canon and the ways that I want to totally mess all that up. Therefore, all of my stories are set in the same loose continuity or the x/y/z/t/tau/teh, if you will (if you read Heinlein.) Or, I'm just sloppy. I like the first explanation better.

== LONG FORM FANFICS ==

Phantasms of Reality

I'm stuck on Phantasms of Reality, so I may have to backtrack a bit. I have not forgotten it. I suppose I could add a chapter or so while I was working on Potters Echoes, but I feel like I wouldn't do it the justice I otherwise would. Besides, I want to see what happens myself. I left it with a Ravenclaw Draco, which suggests all kinds of things. This is written as a Harmony story.

Potters Echoes To Time Unbending

This is the one that I'm supposedly working on right now - it's got a hold on me that I need to get loose from. The only way to do that is to write the damn thing. Well, that and embarrass the hell out of the characters. This is my contribution to The Jily Meets Harmony Challenge.

Like Tenfold Shields

Dragons. Mothering Dragons. Something needs to be done and there's a dragon that knows what needs to be done. Get in her way and get squished. I'm actually working on this one right now.

Fudge Gets Told Off

Well, the title says it all, really. Now moved from 'One-Shot' to 'Long Form.'

The Augur's Kismet

Vernon Dursley suddenly has a lot of things on his mind when he receives a panicked call from Petunia from the hospital's emergency room. A life of someone important to him is about to be lost. What is he going to do now? This is a Good Dursleys story. On hold, as I posted it in a fit of pique and I admit it freely.

== ONE-SHOT FANFICS ==

Waiting

She will wait for him, as long as it takes.

Penny Has Problems

It came to me one day. What if Penelope Clearwater had a very odd day?

Run, Harry!

Harry's in trouble with Hermione. He's done it now. Ron is no help.

Ooops

It's Ron's turn to reap the whirlwind to pay a painful price. Harry's got other ideas and besides it's all Ron's fault anyway.

Dan and Emma Need a Drink

The Grangers try to make sense of it all.

An Owl's Delivery

Nobody messes with Hedwig in my stories. Even Voldemort.

Domination

In my story An Owl's Delivery, Hedwig is mentioned fighting with some of the other Hogwarts Post Owls. Here's the story behind one of those fights.

Marauders Voltron Force

I grew up in the 80's. The Voltron Lions fit with the Gryffindor crew alllll too well.

From the Sea of Unconsciousness

I know all too well what Harry's feeling here, waking up in a hospital bed.

Neville's Had Enough

Even the most even-tempered among us gets to the point where they've had enough. It looks like Neville's just reached his.

Thoughts Before

Ginny is thinking before and as Arthur escorts her down the aisle.

Thoughts from a Still Night

This is something that Ron might have been thinking in one of my AU stories, maybe.

Benighted Walks Under The Mid-Day Sun

Senior Auror Potter has gotten involved in something he never expected. A one-shot written in two parts. How? Different POVs.

Deep Into That Darkness Peering

She has awoken in darkness, and she doesn't know how she got there.

Clark's Decision

Clark Kent agonizes over a decision about a promotion. What does he tell Perry … and why?

All-Star Pickup Game

Superman teams up with another speedy guy to take on a well-known duo in a game of basketball.

A True Gryffindor

Neville gets caught up in a deadly fight with a broken wand. He needs something, desperately. A certain magical item from his past shows up to lend some help.

He Was Going To Save Them All

What does a boy with a rough life do to decide what to do with the rest of his life? Sometimes things happen to make that decision obvious.

What's Up with That?

After a long life, Harry Potter learns from Fate that things were not as they were 'supposed' to be. One-Shot Set in my Potters Echoes to Time Unbending storyverse.

Wait, What?

Harry's decision to just do something nice doesn't quite work out. His first mistake was to ask Garrick Ollivander for help with this.

The Thing About Bets

Companion piece to 'Fudge Gets Told Off.' Here's what was being talked about in the galleries during the Fudge trial.

The Dragons Did It

Albus Dumbledore has a problem, and it's all thanks to those dragons.

== OTHER ==

The Obligatory Challenges List

I figured I might as well.

Social Media Harry Potter Writing Prompt Stories and Things

Occasionally, I see writing prompt posts on various social media sites that catch my eye. When that happens, I have to write them out. Sometimes I can't post replies since those posts have been archived by the time I find them, so I do it here. This is added to sporadically.

Direful

For KGFinkel and his Story Queue Line story. Pranks sometimes don't go as planned. When Harry, Hermione, and a couple of their other friends think up a plot, they find this out. They also find out that sometimes the consequences are... terrible.

The Augur's Kismet

Vernon Dursley suddenly has a lot of things on his mind when he receives a panicked call from Petunia from the hospital's emergency room. A life of someone important to him is about to be lost. What is he going to do now?

== PLANNED ==

I've decided at some point I want to take a crack at the Reptilia28 Don't Fear The Reaper challenge. Yes, I know it's been done ad nauseam. No, I don't plan on following the challenge quite to the letter. Yes, it probably will be AU mature. No, it's going to be a while before I start writing it. Yes, I've started the plotting out. These responses are one of my guilty pleasure fanfic reads. Don't judge me.

Also, I'm going to take a crack at a Doctor Who fanfic. I haven't decided which Doctor.

Also, I'm going to take a crack at a Star Trek fanfic. Maybe a type of HP crossover. I haven't decided.

I hope that you enjoy the works that I put up here, along with the fandoms that I write for and enjoy myself. I have an AO3 account under my pen name, and are mirroring my fanfics there. I write as JB Steele using photons, e-ink, and paper - you can look those up in whatever your favorite ebook retailer may be - but the FFN username is "polarbear20000." What can I say. I like polar bears. I don't want to meet a polar bear for dinner, you understand.

A pet peeve (we all have at least one) is spelling. I can't really explain it - I will be reading this story or that story (or watching the evening news or flipping through the newspaper) and encounter a spelling error. It jumps out at me and it's like that irritating itch that you just can't scratch. By the time that my mind cancels the General Quarters call, I've lost the momentum of whatever I've been doing. It's irritating. Know what's more irritating? Finding it in something I've written. Then it's 'all hands, beat to quarters!' I rarely use computerized spell-checkers after a certain point since I'm gonna be poring over what I've written anyway. Anyone else want to chime in on this point?

 

Well, welcome. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a introduction post, we used to have an intro sub-forum but we closed it for some reason a while back.

Hope you enjoy the library and/or the C2, feel free to recommend some stuff that’s up to par.

 

Thanks for the welcome!

I've been grabbing interesting stuff from the C2 - as it happens, some of the fanfics I've gotten in the past and haven't gotten around to reading have been taken down, so I've got to get around to reading them...

The library, I haven't gotten to - yet - and it would feel a bit selfish to recommend my own work. Granted, some of it I haven't completed so... yeah...

 

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

 

I'm disabled, with certain conditions that make that question hard to answer and encroaching age isn't helping. As far as fanfiction goes, I'd like to 'make a name' for myself and entertain those in my fandoms. As for original works, well, I'm not saying I want to be the next Stephen King or maybe Tolkien, but I wouldn't mind getting steady offers. Enough to help care for myself should the next challenge arrive.

In my case - not to elucidate too much, I was born with conditions and helped along by a distracted teenage driver. I don't recommend that.

Besides Stephen King had that run-in with the van and wellllll, I'd like to avoid that part.

In ten years, I'll probably be sitting on the front porch grumping at kids who think they know everything. If I'm totally honest, I've already been doing some of that, so maybe I'll be more creative in my grumps.