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WIP Iris Potter and the Goblet's Surprise by Autumn Souls - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Taure, Aug 11, 2017.

  1. KGB

    KGB Order Member

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    That is good. The fic does have charm to it which kept me coming back, but the rather scattered writing style kept putting me off.

    If he manages to polish it, this could be rather good.
     
  2. VorpalWeenie

    VorpalWeenie Squib

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    Yeah, I certainly didn't expect a re-write. And it's not even a re-write.

    It's a complete redo with years 1-3 included. One of the parts I liked most about this story is that we were essentially dropped into this story midway. I rarely enjoy fics that say they'll "power through Harry's first 13 years of life and get to 4th year which is where the real action starts (there are a loooooot of these for some reason)." Why bother if you don't believe those parts will be enjoyable? You either respect what you're writing or you don't. There are ways of growing characters that aren't just starting with silly first-year tadpoles. This author did a great job teasing some of Iris' past without saying much and it still left a great impact.

    That said, I believe that they'll do a great job writing it all out. I just feel disappointed that this will basically all be scrapped and I'll have to wait a couple of years to get back to a similar timeline.

    I do go on a lot of rants....
     
  3. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    I was concerned about waiting years for fourth year to come around again too so I messaged the author. They said that it would likely be back to fourth year by the time 2019 rolls around. I don't think the author would care if I posted the relevant parts of the message?

    Specifically:

    "If my writing patterns now are any indication, I wouldn't be surprised if it's done before next year. I've written nearly 200k words in the last 6 months. And I would be surprised if these three years reach too far over 200k words, if they reach over it at all. Things like the Forbidden Forest detention, Norbert, Quidditch matches, explanations, and similar things will be summarized briefly or just skipped over and referred to in a single line or so — and that's if they're there in the first place. I don't think I'll even have the Forbidden Forest detention or getting Norbert out. I'm outright skipping the shopping trip, the sorting, and probably other things. There'll be no real reason to include them, as they hardly stray from canon — so what's really the point? I might have a character or two get sorted into other houses (Daphne into Ravenclaw), but that can be glossed over in a single sentence. So if Philosopher's Stone is 75k words long and I skip or gloss over a good bit, I don't see why it would take that long."

    Also:

    "There are some things from Goblet's Surprise that I'll be moving up. Astra, the phoenix, for example, might be playing a part from the very beginning, allowing Iris/Ivy to not be all too surprised by magic existing as it does in the HP universe."

    The author is also getting betas, which they apparently didn't have before.

    I liked the story mostly for Iris, so as long as Ivy stays similar enough, I'll probably like whatever is coming up. Still, I'm cautious about rewrites. Most end up never finished, or are hardly any better. This is more than a simple rewrite I suppose but I'm still cautious.

    There was more, but jesus I have to piss.
     
  4. why?

    why? Seventh Year

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    It would appear that AS is reading this read thread every now and then.

    From seemingly innocuous things like their favourites' list to all the things mentioned in the author's notes.

    Which makes me wonder why they never posted this in WbA.

    So many stories could benefit from a speed run of the first three years. Glad to see another going that route.

    The author's likely dropping Goblet's Surprise because it will never reach the heights they want (a reddit comment from a while back) it to reach. The new story could.
     
  5. illya_

    illya_ First Year

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    Taure is clearly contagious.

    He who should not be named gives the story his attention and BAM, author does a rewrite with a new name for potter.

    We are running out of female names!!
     
  6. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    Taure gave the story attention back in August. There's been plenty of people that talked about the story's flaws. I doubt his review (if he even gave it on fanfiction.net itself) was what did it.
     
  7. illya_

    illya_ First Year

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    While it was meant as a joke (the BAM should be the clue), if I'm being serious I do think that his 2nd post DID influence the author to do a rewrite (based on timing etc).
     
  8. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    I just mean that I'd hope it was one of the many that did it, not just the single one. I'd rather not read from an author that drops their work and rewrites from one review.
     
  9. Darkenmal

    Darkenmal Muggle

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    I was really disappointed to hear that there is going to be a rewrite. I really liked Iris, and the first task was a lot of fun. Oh well. I'll read the rewrite, I guess.
     
  10. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    Well, you'll still be getting Iris. Just under a different name, I guess. I kinda wish the name Iris was being kept. But whatever.
     
  11. Darkenmal

    Darkenmal Muggle

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    Eh. We'll see. I'm down for a better version, but waiting a year to get back to year 4... if the rewrite is better sure that's fine, but that rarely works. Hopefully it will.
     
  12. Sataniel

    Sataniel Groundskeeper

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    Well, I tried to get through the earlier chapters to get to the part that's supposed to be good. There was definitely much to improve, so rewrite may be a good idea.
     
  13. CaffeineAddict

    CaffeineAddict Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed this, but i have to admit I'm looking forward to seeing the character develop more to what we got in this rendition. The later third of the stpry was definitely stronger.

    While it's cliche, overdone, and generally a sign of poor writing, I have a soft spot for the "reasons you suck" speach Iris gives to McGonigall. The irreverent facade falls away and you get a thoroughly fed up teenager ranting at an authority figure that takes that authority for granted. Always a guilty pleasure for me (provided it has plausible reasoning). Just wish it had more through-put in terms of McGonigall's attitude.
     
  14. RottedKarma

    RottedKarma First Year

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    The author mentions wanting the rewrite to start from the earlier years to explain Iris' different personality. I, for one, don't feel the need for an explanation and believe that Year 4 was a fine place to start.

    Thoughts?
     
  15. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    Need it? Nope, not even a little. I thought the author did a good job of explaining the personality through dialogue or throwaway sentences talking about the past. If it was going over the first three years just as an explanation for her personality, I'd say it was completely unnecessary. But I talked with the author some weeks back and they said that 4th year this time around will end up being different. Like, she isn't even planning on having Sirius escape Azkaban third year. Idk if that means a whole new plot for third year or what, but yeah.

    With that said, I followed the story for Iris, not really the year, the tournament, or the plot. I just like characters like her. Snarky assholes who do whatever they want without caring about the consequences. As long as it doesn't take til fourth year for Iris to become the snarky brat I enjoy reading, I'm fine with it starting in the first year.

    I thought it did. I don't really want to reread that bit, but I thought McG started treating Iris better or something. I might be wrong.
     
  16. CaffeineAddict

    CaffeineAddict Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    "Better" is a relative term. She doesn't really address any of Iris' concerns or try to alter her behaviour to amy significant degree - she immediately goes running to Dumbledore and then agrees to that cockeyed plan to get "Iris" to go to the ball involving polyjuice. She doesn't seem flanderised despite this, so that's a plus. Ironically, her characterisation is mostly spot on from what I remember from the books.
     
  17. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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  18. pbluekan

    pbluekan High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    I ... it’s an ok start. The author loves their cliche’s though. I mean, they said they were leaving most of them behind, but they hit a few pretty dead on in the first few paragraphs.

    Pretty sure my favorite part was when Dumbledore baldly told an eleven year old that her godfather was a murderer and then she basically didn’t react. Fucking really?
     
  19. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    Seems like the betas are paying off. Too early to really judge how its gonna go

    Man, IDK what kind of stories you're reading if the first few paragraphs had any cliches worth noting. I even went back to reread them and I didn't see a single cliche in those first couple of paragraphs, Or even the whole thing. Not any noteworthy cliches at least. This and your review makes you look like you were personally offended or something lol.

    Ya, the bit about Sirius being a murderer should have included an extra paragraph, but I swear that Harry himself had less of an initial reaction. You could sum up Harry's reaction to it all with "Hello Harry, this is magic." "Wha? Magic? Oh ok. Owls?" Literally there's like one piece of dialogue of Harry gasping and a single paragraph of Harry's reaction before he asks about owls lmao

    Seems like you skimmed the chapter and now you're unreasonably upset that you missed things

    On another note, idk how some of you have been around for like 10 years. I've been reading for like 2 years and I already feel kinda jaded with harry potter fanfiction. Like this one's going to need to completely abandon the canon storyline to even think of keeping my attention.

    Yeah, that feels exactly like Dumbledore. He was an insensitive fuck in the books, are you kidding? Ginny got possessed by Lord fuckin Voldemort and he basically told her to go have some hot chocolate. Sirius dies and he decides now is the right time to tell Harry about the prophecy. He almost basically rubs Lily's death in Snape's face. I 100% see him saying that shit to an 11 year old. Dude was nuts.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2018
  20. CareOtters

    CareOtters Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    The first chapter had such an excess of bad humour that I almost dropped this, but the author found their stride soon enough and mellowed it out a bit. It has that classic complaint: they were trying to write sarcastic humour but actually just achieved constant and unnecessary rudeness. The odd thing is, once Iris cut down on the bad attempts at humour and started genuinely being rude, that worked so much better. Instead of doing a good thing badly, she was doing a bad thing well. And that made all the difference.

    Dumbledore was written fairly well here, which is always a nice surprise. Many of the supporting cast were bland - neither standing out as being well done, or as being OOC. I'd describe it, perhaps, as the characters all being written correctly, but not actually doing much of anything. The only standout moment, for me, at any rate, was Hermione interrogating Iris about her sexuality which felt both insensitive and forced. Suitable for first year Hermione, definitely. But by fourth year Hermione had grown a hell of a lot more socially aware.

    Usually a fic's rating will trickle down towards the end as the author and I simultaneously lose interest. Not here, however. The second half is deserving of a 4/5 but a weak beginning still holds it back. I'll be keeping an eager eye on the 'rewrite' with the expectation of great things.

    3/5
     
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