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Is Harry/Tonks relationship morally wrong?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Don, Aug 3, 2017.

  1. Don

    Don Sent Back to India

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    She is 7 years older than him. I can't be the only one who gets uncomfortable reading a 14/15/16 year old Harry have a relationship with Tonks. Its one thing with Fleur she is only 17 and still in school but Tonks is a mature adult and this pairing feels morally wrong.
     
  2. Download

    Download Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

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    Sixteen is acceptable, fifteen is pushing it, fourteen is no. That said, Tonks is a magical cop, so she needs to toe the line more carefully.

    It's easily solved by fudging her age a bit.
     
  3. Oment

    Oment The Betrayer

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    16 is borderline, depending on various laws and the degree to which society thinks it is morally acceptable (within the HP verse, so probably analogous to 70-90s era UK?) . Anything under that's just pretty ick. Tonks being an Auror, as Download pointed out, does mean she has to toe the line legally.

    It can work in the context of a sixth/seventh year story, but... Pulling it off right is hard. Easier to fudge ages or make her survive past the war.
     
  4. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander Prestige DLP Supporter

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    It depends on the situation.

    For example. If Harry is fifteen during the Order of the Phoenix it's a bit squick and I doubt anyone would approve but there are exceptions.

    If Harry is the heir to more than one ancient family or is a direct descendant of Merlin than he could use his position as head of the Wizengamot to simply change whatever laws are in his way.

    He probably wouldn't bother though as the title of Lord Black-Potter-Gryffindor-Slytherin-Merlin-LeFay comes with boons such as having to have a wife for each family title and everyone would have to do what he says anyway.
     
  5. Shinysavage

    Shinysavage Madman With A Box Prestige

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    Yes, but in the context of a fandom filled with stories featuring Harry paired off with people old enough to be his parents, people who are actually his parents, people who are his children, people who are both old enough to be his parents and are in an active position of authority over him, and people who have literally tried to kill him, a seven year age gap doesn't seem that big a deal, especially given the ease either which it can be addressed.
     
  6. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    Yes, it is morally wrong if Harry is underage. If he's 17 then it's ok.
     
  7. wordhammer

    wordhammer Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

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    You react negatively to the pairing in concept- perfectly valid. I'd recommend trying to parse out where it crosses the line.

    Because seven years is a large gap? Did you have any concern over Fleur being in a relationship, getting married to and having a child with Bill Weasley? She was 19 when they married, and he was ~27.

    Because those younger than adulthood shouldn't have relationships with those older? I'd argue that this fixation on matching ages is a good part of the reason so many kids get pregnant before they're ready. If one of the two were more mature and experienced in more relationships, it might raise the level of education in these matters.

    Because Tonks has legal enforcement powers? There may be expectations of a higher standard of behavior, but of all the crimes committed by the 'good guys' in the books that go unprosecuted, this seems like it wouldn't even be something wizards enforce (as opposed to roping a minor into a contract that required risking life and limb, or breaking into other people's houses to take valuable keepsakes and then destroy them, or dosing other students so that one can steal not just their clothes but their identities. Or howabout Moody using the Imperius curse on a large number of students as part of the approved curriculum?)

    The real underlying question for me would be: is this a good thing for both parties? Is Harry being pushed far beyond what he's willing to do? Is Tonks likely to get as much emotional support and satisfaction in this relationship as compared to being involved with someone closer to her age? Owait, she married Lupin when he was 13 years older than her.

    Will Tonks manipulate Harry due to her authority over him, or her wider experience? Will Harry manipulate Tonks over the possible scandal, or use his fame to demand things she wouldn't normally do?

    In many of the Harry/Tonks stories I've read, there is a point where someone notes that Harry is more mature than the usual student and that Tonks, despite her career, is less mature than one would expect. Both of these are OOC for their book versions but very palatable in fanon.
     
  8. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    It's fiction. If you can't separate fact from fiction you've got issues. If it makes you feel uncomfortable that's your own problem, really. Do you feel uncomfortable if you shoot someone in a video game? Probably not, right?

    Fuck you for trying to force your morals onto us.
     
  9. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Looks like you've been... Triggered.
     
  10. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

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    Come now, there's no need to make yourself angry over such small issues.

    Here's an interesting position: it is perfectly possible to both believe that Harry/Tonks is morally wrong and enjoy reading stories with the pairing.

    After all, I don't exactly agree with Voldemort, but fics featuring him are my favorite (especially if he wins).
     
  11. Donimo

    Donimo Seventh Year

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    Yes, an adult dating a teenager is morally wrong. It works fine post Hogwarts, especially if you allow a couple extra years.

    It also works fine in smut, because smut doesn't need to make sense.
     
  12. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony Prestige

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    At the end of the day, it all boils down to how it's being written. A seven year age gap isn't so huge that its an insurmountable issue, so as long as Harry is written as old and mature enough to actually be able to handle a relationship with an older woman it should be fine.
     
  13. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    I was overreacting for comedic effect.

    I personally don't really care. I mean, I liked a few Harry/Tonks fics, but that's about it. What I dislike, though, is how the OP isn't trying to start a discussion. It's not about age-differences in HP pairings. It's not about romantic relationships in written media.

    If it actually was about that the OP could have mentioned Remus and Tonks, the one pairing that's actually canon and features an even bigger age gap. Instead it's about Harry and Tonks, a fanon pairing. Definitely one of the less disturbing pairings in this fanfiction universe, too.

    So it's not about the topic in general, it's just about how this particular pairing makes the OP uncomfortable and how he or she thinks it's morally wrong and wants to tell us about it. That's ridiculously subjective. On top of that the OP is trying to turn their personal issues into a general problem.

    Offense is taken, not given. Discomfort is perceived, not caused.

    The OP's inability to accept different romantic preferences is weird. I wonder what would happen if he or she ever encountered one of many fetishes that are ... less than common.
     
  14. Anarchy

    Anarchy Fourth Champion DLP Supporter

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    Harry/Tonks is probably one of the least offensive "morally wrong" pairings in HP Fanfiction. I'm not saying that that makes it okay, but when there's 10,000 Hermione/Snape fics, and probably a larger amount of Harry/Voldemort fics, that tends to lessen the impact a bit. Not to mention that there are Harry/Lily stories written by actual DLPers.

    Anyways, the age of consent in (muggle) England is 16, so anything after OOTP is fine, legally. But if you want to argue that Tonks is more mature than Harry, well, I don't really agree with that. Unless you consider falling in love with someone 14 years older than you, impulsively marrying them, and then having a kid during wartime knowing that you might leave them an orphan, a mature and responsible thing to do.
     
  15. Zeelthor

    Zeelthor Scissor Me Timbers

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    Yes. So make that a part of it. If Tonks went for him before he was like 20 she'd probably get at least a few whispers aimed her way. The younger ones depend a little. Is it bad for the general teenager? Probably. But so is fighting a war against a dark lord.
     
  16. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yes. I oppose relationships involving age gaps of any kind.
     
  17. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    What's the upper limit for that opposition? There is a big different between a 30yo dating a 37yo and a 17yo dating a 24yo.
     
  18. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    I still feel like half your age plus seven is a good rule of thumb.
     
  19. Kord

    Kord Squib

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    I suppose I don't really care so long as it is well written and realistically portrayed. I guess I would care if she was ten or fifteen years older than him but seven is okay.

    In fiction, anyway.
     
  20. theimmortalhp

    theimmortalhp Second Year

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    No upper limit if its outside a couple months age difference. That's wildly immoral.
     
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