While I dance on your body in a festive manner. You see, as Lord of the Hyphen's, I cannot be killed by means such as that.

After shooting thisperson, DLR thinks himself to be safe. LIttle does he know that his death is imminent, and quite near at hand.

He begins to skip gayly down the road towards his favorite store, Gap, where he intends to buy at least one pair of capris and maybe some polos,but who really knows.

He brings his purchases to the counter........"Will this be all?" the slightly familiar clerk asks. "Yes, only these for today." responds Mr. Rostam with suspicion evident in his tone.

As he walks out of the store, the clerk grins manically, "I hope you enjoy your polos, that are giving off a sickly sweet scent only detectable by bears." Yes, bears.

Suddenly out of no where, 16 ravenous and rabid bears jump out of the sewer and are in pursuit of teh Dark Lord Rostam. He doesn't see them until too late and quickly succumbs. The first bear goes for his head whle the second one goes a little lower. With half of his torso already gone, he doesn't have much time left. Soon small bits and pieces are all that can be found.

The clerk, also known as Half-Blood-Prince is happy to have done his part for his Lord.

Out in the street the largest bear of them all begins to shrink, into what appears to be a man........... for lord hyphen cannot be killed.

 

The-Hyphenated-One runs around giggling insanely, as he frequently does. He runs faster and faster, until he trips on a spare hyphen which was left lying on the ground, and lands on a pair of scissors which dig deep inside his brain via his eye, and dies instantly.

 

As the hyphens use their eternal powers to resurrect their Lord-Hyphen, claiming apology after apology at the mishap, Half-Blood-Prince appears behind Malaga, the hyphens leading him to the one responsible for his Lord's near defeat.

Half-Blood Prince raises his hands and calls to the power of hyphens to send Malaga into a new dimension. One called... The Office.

Knowing Malaga will die in a way to horrible to describe, Half-Blood-Prince salutes his lord and disappears, off to continue his search for hyphenated enlightenment.

 

malaga is hidden deep within the confines of his room, looking around suspiciously he begins to log on to his computer. Slowly he strokes his lips and penis while reading BDSM slash. Stopping for a moment at a peculiar scene he reads that Lucius Malfoy has just taken a horse penis up his ass.

Questions instantly loom to mind, surely he may do that too. After all how difficult can it be. Walking out back towards his the stables belonging to his bestiality inclined aunt he seeks out the most potent victim.

Finding a horse whose balls are nearly dragging unto the ground, an impossibility by itself, he begins to spread a potent aphrodisiac on the sumpter's shaft he strokes it upwards and downwards.

Believing everything to be ready he slowly kneels before the majestic beast of labour and spreads his cheeks, ensuring that the tip of the horse is well within his orfice.

Just as he is ready to make the plunge backwards the horse lacks the control to hold it all in, unleashing a truly massive flood of semen. Foolishly thinking himself capable of swalling the filth, malaga then attempted to take all twenty-two inches into his eagerly awaiting mouth...

It was later announced on the news that a hermaphrodite going by the name of Lucius had died within his Aunt's country home, drowned by ramming twenty-two inches of spewing horse flesh into his mouth.

R.I.P malaga.

May you stay dead.
Horse Raper Extraordinare
DLP Hermaphrodite

Let us have a moment of silence...


Edit: I liked my malaga one...well time to kill HBP.

I skeet all over your mom.

You die of shock.

I am happy.

You are dead.

The End.

 

Imprtant Notice: You have ceased to live, repeat, you are no longer among the living.

 

First of all: Why on this thread does everyone think I'm a hermaphrodite?
Second of all:

Thisperson and T-H-O sit opposite each other, hands clasped.
"So it's agreed?"
"Yes"
"The winner of this gets it all. The minions, the adultation... the virtual hookers."
"Everything. Peaknuckle, peaknuckle, one, two, three."

Fierce looks of concentration come over their faces, and T-H-O gains the upper hand (pun intended). Thisperson panics at the thought of giving up his e-hookers, and pulls out a semi-automatic and shoots T-H-O in the head. He looks puzzled at the cry of pain.
'I thought these were painless...' He mused thoughtfully, and shot himself in the head to test it. His final thought is; Fuck, it does hurt...

 

Bemused by the scene that unfolded before her malaga was quick to pick up the treasures left by the gamblers before her.

Stock bonds, brothel rights, pimp cups and an array of other items.

But at the very top of the mound was a very nude picture of Bonnie Wright, splayed in all her vivacious red-headed bushiness.

A chronic masturbater at heart, malaga was never one to pass up an opportunity to fantasize about her idol, caregiver, and baby batter giver.

Slowly the penises began to magically sprout from various locations.

First one burst into her anus, blood dripping slowly from it in a very erotic and sensual manner.

A second deep within her throat, gagging her in a teasing manner.

Slowly the phallic objects began to move in time, one burst her maidenhead releasing an outpour of blood.

Others popped the drums of her ears, while some attempted to reach her nose hairs entrenched firmly in her nasal passages.

All of them seeking some dark cavern to safely refuge themselves within.

As the proceedings proceeded malaga began to become aroused. Her tiny two inch dick rose to attention, desperate for attention.

Head out pouring outward as malaga reached its climax, her head engorged, fit to burst with the similar opaque liquid currently flowing from her mouth and nether regions.

Her tip prodded open and released the first wave of what would surely have been a copious load.

A whistling sound was all that was heard, as the air molecules surrounding her perineum were displaced and rapidly replenished.

A jolt of movement and malaga's upper body was sitting upright, before it keeled over once more.

Gurgling slowly as her pleasure receptors quickly identified the pain, blood gushing outwards.

Staining all, defiling her picture of perfection. Bonnie Wright.

Slowly the two, once thought dead, gamblers rose from their spots.

A grin flashed between the two and one lifted a small submachine gun, shooting rounds of metal into the other.

The bullets bounced off, Styrofoam being their material.

As the two left, eager to share a drink and visit a brothel. malaga gave her final lurch and bubbles of blood rose slowly from her phallic jammed mouth.

As the two turned back the final image caused an involuntary shudder to run past their backs.

On the ground, splayed in her bimbo headed glory, malaga was jammed to the brim. Where her penis should have been, there only remained shreds of meat.

As the phallic had searched for an opening, it had found one just when her excitement had reached its peak. Breaching the tip of her head, and ripping the miniature in two.

As the shudder, and memory passed, the prominent figures of the Casa Blanca left, memory forgotten and off to get pissed.

There was alcohol to be drunk.

Ok, so I'm bored, while waiting for the slow chinese take out delivery driver guy to get here, and was looking through some old games threads. malaga, you're still a hermaphrodite. The Hyphenated One...I have forgotten you, and I'm awesome.

So...erm...kill me or something. *shrug*

 

As thisperson is walking along, he is grabbed from behind. A cloth drenched in chloroform covers his mouth and nose and he,she slowly drifts off into the land of the sleeping.

As he wakes up, thisperson finds out that he is bound to a table. He looks around and spots all sorts of finely cared for and very sharp objects for display all around. In the shadows, someone snickers at the look of disbelief on thisperson's face.

The person in the shadows steps out. In his hand is a very dull looking butcher knife. He makes his way over to thisperson and stands in front of him. On his lab coat is a name tag with "Evan" written on it.

"Congratulations. You have been nominated to be a test subject for this special procedure," says Evan.

"No! Wait! What are you going to do with that butcher knife!?" shouted thisperson.

"Why I'm going to castrate you," Evan casually states. He pulls up an evil-looking, spiky drill and shows it to thisperson. "And I'm gonna use this to give you a vagina."

thisperson screams as the operation takes place. When the operation is finally over, thisperson is once again knocked out.

*end of skip*

As thisperson wakes up, the newly made she sees a giant portal infront of her. Behind it, Evan is putting the finishing touches on his creation. After a few seconds have passed, he finally notices that thisperson is awake.

"God you're up just in time for the last step of the treatment," he says. As he moves to turn the thing on, he explains what it does. "This thing will throw you into a world where I am god. I can do whatever I want there, like make all the most horrible Harry/Ginslut-hardcore-lemon stories out there come true and make you star as the Ginslut in all her dirty, whorish glory."

The portal turns on and Evan wheels the table thisperson is on through it.

*An hour later*

Evan is sitting at his computer enjoying his blood pops. On his computer monitor are multiple downloads of Harry/Ginslut stories being put into a link that connects to the portal. While all this is happening, Evan sits back and enjoys the chorus of screams that make up thisperson's agony.

 

Evan lies on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean.

After killing thisperson, life was good. He got scouted for a movie, in which he became the next big thing in Hollywood.

He had movie deals, record deals, and a book deal lined up, but for now, he was just a man on vacation.

The three scantily clad blondes currently draped over him breathed gently, and he grinned to himself. Alright, so maybe he had a few more perks than average.

Before they woke up, Evan probably ought to remember their names. Monica, Jessica and... Fiona? Fenella? F something anyway. Probably Fenella...

"Good morning ladies."
"Good morning!" they chorused back.
"Up for another round Monica?"
"Not just yet. But she might be..."
"Well, how about it... Fenella?"

The blonde screamed in anger, pulled out a large gun from somewhere (Evan was sure he hadn't felt that last night) and shot him in the head.

"Geeze Fenchurch, again?"
"Fucking bastards always forget my name."

I want to give you a decent death for killing thisperson.

 

Evan is currently sitting at his computer. Apparently, Fenchurch was only a created character in his portal dimension. He had woken up and checked for any alterations to his experiments. From all the security set up, Evan sees that Malaga was the one who used his own invention against him. As he goes out, he comes up with a plan for revenge.

*3 hours later*

Malaga is currently out for a walk. It is dark by now and she is heading towards her house. As she gets to her front door, she feels a prick on her neck and is out like a light.

*15 minutes later*

Malaga is now in a very similar position to the now deceased thisperson. She looks around to find her captor, but she already has a good idea who it is. At that moment, she hears a door open and Evan steps in.

"Now Malaga, even though you made feel extremely good before killing me, you still messed around with my stuff," Evan says as he wheels Magala into the portal."Since you gave me extreme amounts of pleasure before killing me, I'll do the same for you."

*In the portal dimension*

Magalla is out of her straps by now. For some reason, instead of being in a torture room, she is in a nice plush bedroom filled with all sex toys known to man, and a few only known to monkeys. As she examines the room further, she hears a voice come out of nowhere.

"Now Magala, this is your death. You will die from an over dose of sexual pleasure and/or dehydration, whichever comes first."says the voice of Evan.

When these words were spoken, a man had materialized in the room. He was Magala's fantasy man. Everything she ever wanted in a man was right there in front of her. The man rushed at her and gave her a fierce kiss. The voice came back and Magala could hear Evan whissper the words "Enjoy" before she got her first orgasm. Twenty-four hours later, Magala died from dehydration and a broken pelvis.

*In the real world*

Evan was sitting at his computer. He had recored all twenty-four hours of Magala's imminent and erotic death.

Now that she's dead, she can't stop me from putting this on the internet and make tons of cash off it! Evan thought. All's well, that end's well. For me that is.

- Thanks for the nice death Magala. I thought I'd give you one in kind. By the way, Fenchurch's line and character taken from Hitch Hiker's Guide?

 

Yeah, I couldn't resist. I also stole "just a man on vacation" from Make a Wish.

 

So.... does anyone like how I write the shorts or should I try to improve more?

 

Evan is sat at his computer still enjoying the screams of thisperson when a computer virus strike's, the virus created by carvell (me) make's thisperson come back to life and escape the virus then alters the portal to suck in Evan, the computer is then encrypted from any form of hacking and Evan is then trapped in a hell of his own creation.

I know it's short but it's all i could think off.

 

Surrounded by the mass of all the technology in the room, carvell peered in fascinating curiosity at all the monitors, hard drives, and BDSM fetish tools that were making the room buzz with electricity.

Never one to leave things unattended carvell took a seat and watched as a man of great stamina, plundered the cavern of one DLP Hermaphrodite. Climaxing and ready to rip her a new one, the man on-screen slowly filled the small cave on Its tummy with a thick murky liquid.

To top it all off the woman on-screen had a look of pure bliss on her face, by defiling her, the man had completed most of her inner fantasies.

Carvell stared at the screen in awe, such control, such stamina...such powers that were not his!

Looking at the bottom right hand corner of the screen, the image was outdated by a few hours. But the 2x4 could not have gotten far.

Running rampant throughout the office he quickly learned that the being had no name, no domicile, nothing but a ten digit number to his name.

The potency of such a male left unchecked. It could not be, he would have to remedy that situation.

Surely the sex fiend who had once occupied this room had the weapons necessary to take care of his ginormous problem.

Rummaging through the cabinets he found the perfect solution to the anomaly.

A drill bit.

A speed dial later and thatmysteriousperson was on his way back to the place of his employer.

Checking the power supply on his tool and acknowledging that it was adequate he bid his time.

Quickly he hid behind the door and waited for theperson to come.

A knock followed by a bid to come, and theperson walked into the room, unaware of the dangers behind the flimsy plywood door.

Seeing his opportunity, carvell powered up his bit drill.

Revolving grey steel met sturdy pectoral muscle, the metal whirred and whined until it died with a pop.

That is an infants power drill toy belonging to my son. What do you think you are doing?

Paying closer attention to the device in his hand carvell realized it was indeed a toddler's enjoyment device.

Seeing the opportunity to simply call it all off as a prank he pressed the bit drill into his perineum and pulled the trigger.

Fuck. Flitted through his mind before he was on the floor rolling.

Screams of pain fed the ears of notoriousperson as the man on the floor sniffled his screams to heart wrenching sobs.

As if I would have a child, I mean look at me

Scoffing a bit as he spoke, he did in fact take the time to look at himself. Perfection, nothing more was possible and nothing less was imaginable.

I have no use for a woman who would bear my spawn. Thick enough to believe I would stay with them.

A snuffle and whimper were the only sound escaping the eunuch.

Not losing any more time, sadisticperson picked up the power tool and slowly jammed it to the thigh of the man. Allowing it to power through the loose muscles and fat.

A whir later, and the socket less eyes peered towards his general direction.

Another whizz, and the tongue held a piercing. What a popular boy he would become.

Growing bored with the occurrences, theperson jammed the bit in the center of the brow.

Pushing forward in a seamless manner, which should have made him exert a good deal of strength, and carvell keeled forward. Dead to the world.

Anti-climactic. But the white suited jogger outside would surely change that.

World class tits. Definitely a climactic meeting.

Bored and watching Faux News Channel 6, surely you can't blame my mind for what it has produced. :mrgreen: