hey what is up with the quote thing?

 

It should be [ quote="name here" ]blah blah blah[ /quote ] Without the spaces of course.

 

The story has been fully reposted.

Brothers in Blood is currently WIP.



The Dark Lord Nedved

 

What a first post.

 

Oh yeah, of course it's worse than Harry Ginny. I mean the sudden love coming out of nowhere for a girl who had hardly been mentioned for 5 years is just so much more believable and likable than something that has some what of a foundation in the first 5 books. but it's fiction, who needs a foundation for a relationship? all that hocus pocus is for those logical minded folk.

hhr worse than hg? die! you die and go to hell you blasphemous Swedish bastard!

 

I remember I could never get into this series because he was posting in like 5 different stories at once so I couldn't finish one and go onto the next.

When I can read it one sitting or at least a few completed in a row I will take another crack at it.

 

It's all right.

Not great, not real good, but not awful. I don't like the Hermione characterization at all.

I'm not sure what's wrong, but it seems to lack immersiveness.

Also, bitch!Harry ftfl.

 

Well, at least you guys did read it.

 

I liked it, it's still on my favorites list at HPFF, but like Darius, I don't like having to read them out of order.

Having to figure out what happened in the chapters before is irritating.

 

The basic factual errors in this fic are extraordinarily grating. Hermione breaks the underage magic laws, Dumbledore acts as if the secret keeper revealing the secret to a single person will break the Fidelius charm, and several others that I can't remember off the top of my head. The only thing worse would be a discussion of the legal and ethical ramifications of casting the Cretaceous Curse.

Edit:

Er...What? He twiddled his thumbs? The only time I ever 'twiddle my thumbs' is when I am intentionally trying to project a Luna-like sense of detached insanity.

Edit 2:

THIS IS WHAT HERMIONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

 

I just couldn't get into these no matter how long I left it and then went back to them. I'll give it a 3/5 because it is a bit interesting, nonetheless.

 

I liked how it turned out at one of the very last stories, unless it's been changed since then.

It seemed like a DLP type ending. Of course, I could be remembering it wrong, it has been years since I last read it.

 

I don't like this one bit, and I'm a H/Hr fan.

A number of the aspects of this fic pissed me off. Hermione's attitude (which was as or even more OOC than it was in HBP), Harry becoming this super-hottie that every girl likes (I mean, fangirls crowding before his trial FTFL), irrelevant and pointless subplots (the trial and the whole Quidditch shit), unlikable female interests (Cho, Hermione etc), Draco fucking Malfoy being a hero, your retarded obsession with swords and totally fucking idiotic superpowers that I detest (the Solidus Charm, Malfoy's elemental abilities).

You've also done nothing to make Harry anything more than a cardboard hero (same with his antagonist counterpart, Voldemort). The final battle had me cringing and facepalming. Your technical aspects of your writing, such as grammar and stuff, are terrible.

This deserves no higher than a 2/5, and that's me being generous. No way it warrants a place in our library.

 

This fic was started before harry/ginny was lame. Considering that, its actually pretty good. If you get to the newer parts, it pays off. There are some things I don't like: super-draco, h/h(fxd), and the ending. That threw me off. I couldn't read it after the time passed. I can't stand 2nd generation fics.

I would have given this fic a 5/5 at the time it was written. However, due to evolution, I will give it a 3.5/5.

 

Lol.

I guess reading it back now the first story does seem very corny. My only excuse is that it was done immediately after OOTP. I was young then, and it was pretty much my first attempt at anything called writing . Forgive me.

And if u read on, Draco isn't really a hero, by the way. He's slytherin, and they don't 'hero' well. All done to plan.

The Subplots (like quidditch) were there because Harry acutally likes quidditch and other things affected him apart from hogwarts and Voldemort. The court hearing was an idea i had because even in the real world if a normal teenager broke into a ministry building it's obvious they would want to investigate. But honestly, it's refreshing to hear 'real' opininons instead of the obvious flattery on the site.

I recommend Greengecko's Resolution series if u want to read a far better story.

Respect!

edit: Oh Lucullus, I just checked your ff profile. A grand total of 3 stories and nearly a whopping 50,00 words. Quite Impressive.

*cough*

 

I actually highly enjoyed the series way back when I used to read on hpff, one of the most memorable highlights from there actually. Along with Eclipse of the Sky by Firefawn. I should reread that story sometime, its the first piece of HP FF I liked.

 

What the fuck is this? What was the point of acting humble and then editing that in? I'm not raging, just perplexed.

I actually think your stories are closer to average than terrible. It's relatively fast-paced, there was a peek of great action description in the Potter vs. Malfoy chapter.

Now, onto the shittiness.

Droves of OC's I'd rather not exist in favor of Harry getting more screentime and CAPSLOCK ANGER in addition to what Lucullus mentioned.

I don't know if you're aware, but Rebecca Lestrange hearkens back to Rorschach's Blot's OC in Lord of Caer Azkaban. Seems you've been paid a tribute to by him, or vice-versa.

The action is nearly cookie-cutter level, but it gets sabotaged by the swords.

Draco standing up to Voldemort and nearly winning is just... inexcusable? Retarded to the utmost extent?

The writing is roughshod, but isn't total shit. You keep fucking up with little phrases though. A beta would have served you very well.

I stopped reading once I realized I was just finding more ammunition and less cause for praise.

Rounded up to 3/5.

 

I remember reading this a long time ago, when I first got into fanfiction. At the time, I was much less concerned with plot and grammar, and I thought this story was fucking awesome. Now, however, I am much pickier, so this is really just average. I have to agree with Andro on this one. I give this 3/5 overall.

 

Yeah. I totally agree with the swords thing. The reason why there are so many in that story because i felt that hunter's needed swords because guns were out. It's hp after all.

Draco standing up to Voldemort and nearly winning? Where was that? Don't remember.. If you're referring to burning down the house I won't even call that a fight. More like desperation.

Yeah I put in that edit because i was interested in Lucullus work. But there wasn't enough to read so yeah...