actually i have been doing a lot of thinking about that (Harry's dueling studies, the D.A. etc), and have decided to try something that could either be really, really cool or blow up in my face. take a look at my profile (which i've revised recently) on ff.net for a hint.

 

oh yeah--and i'm going on vacation for a week, so if i can't finish the next chapter before i leave tonight, i'll have to wait until i come back to update. sorry. =/

 

Updated.

Another good chapter with quality characterization. I have absolutely no problems with this fic, I just hope it doesn't get deleted because of all the light smut popping up.

 

I enjoyed the update, but I agree with Zero, hope it doesn't get deleted.
Have you considered posting it at another site as well as FF to make sure it stays up?

 

The fact that Malfoy seems to be slightly competent and a potiential love interest for Angelina worries me. Otherwise, another good chapter to a really good canon-like fic.

 

i did think about that. but i thought that if i kept my usage of what i like to call "flag words" to a bare minimum (i've only used those words maybe twice, and only in that chapter) that it would be okay. i guess that if changing the rating to M isn't good enough, perhaps i will shop around for a new fic site to post it on.

 

Ficwad is a good site.

 

I agree Ficwad is a decent site. I wish it had more traffic though. I haven't seen much in your story that would trigger a deletion. You should be fairly safe after changing the rating.

The new chapter was good. I think Angelina is giving Draco a bit too much charity, but it was a very entertaining read.

Jim

 

Note - not a double post, the previous post was from 3 weeks ago.

Author has updated with chapters 30 and 31, both look to be fairly well done lacking noticeable spelling and grammar errors, but then again who am I to judge.

The plot took a nice step. Harry seems a bit less in control of himself as a result of being inside Voldy's mind. He's becoming more powerful and angrier, both done rather well.

Keep up the good work Danfan.

Jim
ps - Try and stay cool in the heatwave in NYC.

 

thanks man. =D

 

Good story. Very original.

 

My current beta is ripping me a new asshole. He's really tearing my shit to shreds so that I don't ruin the story. Not only is he attempting to help me keep my spelling and grammar in check but he's also trying to help me fill in any plot holes that might pop up seeing as how I keep changing my fucking mind about everything every five minutes...I appreciate that.

Oh shit did I say too much?


ps--jbern I love your story, Bungle in the Jungle!

 

Just read the whole thing.

I must say that romance aspect of this story is fantastic, probably one of the best I've seen so far; definitely better than Jeconias’s overblown fluffy crap. Characterization and writing style are first class too.

The biggest problem of this story is plot. It seems to go up and down, starting out decent out-of-canon subplots and then relapsing back to the OOTP scene-by-scene walkthrough. For example, after the whole Malfoy vs Harry duel, I was kinda hoping the story would completely separate from OOTP and turn into a true AU. Instead, there was just a snap-back to the OOTP-like holydays and then back to ground zero. The same thing happened with the whole DA club. It just feels pointless reading a story, if you know exactly what would happen till its end. Not to mention knowing it’s a trainwreck waiting to happen.

As for the magical system and Harry’s power, I found it rather interesting, if somewhat hastily introduced. The biggest problem with magic in this story are timeframes - for example, it takes Harry several days to master a simple banishing charm, and yet, in the course of a single afternoon, he manages to learn 10 or so new curses and a whole new technique for increasing power (which is too perfect and easy to master IMO). I won’t even get into mastering Patronius in a few minutes.

All in all, very interesting story, even with all the storyline and plot-flow problems. Looking forward for more.
3.5/5

 

This is another good HP/AJ pairing. I've enjoyed this one imminsley.

 

Hey Kendra-

Are you still writing this?

I caught your last update, you seem to be moving the plot to a slightly darker place (Harry's fight against himself rather than his fight against authority)... and I DIG IT.

Anyway, I hope everything is going well.

-Sean

 

I absolutely am still writing this. My updates will be a little slow, though, because I have A LOT going on right now--a second job being one of that lot.

I am thrilled that you like the direction I'm taking the story. It has turned into way more than a romance for me as well!

 

Updated.

The new chapter is a nice read, you did a really good job keeping Snape in character.

It was an interesting twist,

Spoiler

The idea that Snape wants to protect Draco because he's carrying a torch for Narcissa.

Basically, you've taken the similar idea -- that Snape hates Harry because he was in love with Lily *barf* -- and dropped it on it's head

I generally don't give a shit whether Draco lives or dies and that's certainly the case here as well, although I find it interesting that Draco is in some ways a slave to his destiny... sort of like Harry, although what separates the two is that Draco has neither Harry's innate nobility nor, I suspect, the courage of his convictions to do the right thing if he were truly opposed to the path he's on.

I'd just as soon that Draco died but since he's in the summary of the sequel, I don't think I'm going to get my wish.

*oh well*

It's good to see that you're still working on this.

-Sean

 

Too much Draco/Snape sympathy given for my tastes in the last chapter. Plus, Dumbledore seems to let Snape criticise Harry way too much to be realistic IMO. Still following this, though.

 

I understand why people hate Draco so much. I hate his ass too, in cannon. Hmmm...Dumbledore was unrealistic you say? Okay, I'll have to go back and re-examine that then....

Don't worry, the story is about Harry and Angelina, not Draco. I'll reign him in for the next few chapters.