This story is fine.
Like someone mentioned before, what bothered me was Neville becoming powerful.
I mean wtf?
No one cares about Neville.

Another thing that I didn't like was how everyone is assuming Harry is going 'Evil' since he can't control his power.
Or maybe I didn't understand it all.

Ok then overall I would give it a 4.25/5 for being one of the most believeable romance stories I have read thus far......and an update would be appreciated ^_^

 

I totally LOVE this story
4/5 for me.
i'm more into the HP/PP romances

 

Chapter 38 was a nice, tense, build-up chapter to show possible upcoming events. While not nearly as tense as some of your later chapters, it was still enough to make a reader really wonder what's going to happen next.

The Malfoy family dynamic in your story is actually very refreshing, despite my loathsome feelings towards Draco. (Not just in your fic, but any fic.) Lucius is not merely some incompetent Death Eater who prattles on and on about Pureblood superiority, but rather a cold, calculating, even somewhat resigned Inner Circle member who seems to just do what he has to do when it comes to Voldemort's beckoning.

Narcissa is actually more realistic in this story then in any other I've read, in actually being a mother. Too many authors fail to realize, at least before HBP, that while she might be the wife of a Death Eater and the mother to a wannabe Hogwarts bully, she's still just a wife and a mother. Anger or even resentment towards Lucius is entirely plausible, but you've tapped into the aspect of her personality that loves her son, no matter who he is. Draco is her own flesh and blood, and while he might not be a model child, she is still his child, and his safety and well-being will always be of the utmost importance to her. I actually find myself pitying her rather than disliking her.

It was good to see Harry and Angelina together again, even if it wasn't entirely made up of soft kisses and loving hugs. With each chapter their relationship comes once step closer from being a school-side puppy love to the adult companionship of a man and a woman and it's a very nice attribute, especially because you've shown that with the adult relationship ship, so to comes the adult problems that they're confronting together. Your romantic depth is amazing when it comes to the two of them in the same scene.

I liked the fact that you made Neville stronger than Harry, as we discussed before, it had to be done in a way. Neville has been training nonstop since his time away while Harry has been busy with his relationship with Angie and the D.A. It would be unfathomable for Neville not to be stronger than Harry if all he's been doing is training. While I'm Harry-centric, and I've always hated when people made characters like Draco or even Neville on par with him, I can read it exactly as it needs to be read. The only way Harry can become stronger, become deadlier, is for those around him to be stronger. That whole aspect of Neville being a better dueler is exactly what Harry needs to shape up and get back into tip top form. A form that I'm sure would surpass Neville, and possibly even Moody, in a short amount of time.

Your dueling scenes were perfect for their context. Short enough that they didn't become boring or sluggish, but long enough that you didn't just flick over it as if it were unimportant. Training scenes and small time duels are a hard thing to write because they lack the emotion and intensity of life-threatening fight scenes, but you took a terrific step in the right direction with this one. Now all that's left is expanding this knowledge when it comes to the more dangerous ones and your action will be perfect for Lessons.

I look forward to more K, as this chapter was just another great addition to a great story. 5/5

 

Thanks Thal, that seriously boosts my confidence. I'm having a little trouble with chapter 39 (surprise, surprise...) and so the update might be a while. I hate that, because it seems in the time I am taking to get my shit together, interest in the fic has waned.

At least on DLP. That is a bummer, because Romance isn't one of this site's often-read genres.

Thanks for all your help, by the way. You've got a great perspective as a writer, and if you don't update Queens soon I'm going to fly to California and personally bitch-slap you.

 

Interest in this fic has certainly not waned, at least not in my opinion. I'm a bit of a soft-hearted loon on some things, and I like reading *well-written* romances whenever possible. Yours is not only well-written, it is also realistic, encompassing, less-than-perfect, and adapting to the life of the characters. I've read quite a few "romance" shitfics which are just about Harry snogging or humping some dumb chick and getting mega-power to beat the crap outta Voldemort, while simultaneously becoming wise and all-knowing. Balls. Your fic is slow and steady, which is excellent considering the number of things going on, and how such events affect a relationship. This is one of the few stories which portrays increasing maturity and ability in Harry in a plausible and readable way (I'd compare this with the character development in Years of Rebellion, but that thing becomes infuriating after a while).
All in all, this fic is a job exceedingly well done. I really hope you update it damn fast

 

I don't usually read fluff but this story is surprisingly interesting!

I've read up to chapter 19 and I like how their relationship is going, not too fast, not too slow.. Just kind of getting to know eachother..

I'll finish this some other day, it's getting late.. Hope you keep up the good work =)

 

I'm reading this fic now actually.

I quite liked Snape's character work, he's probably my favorite at the moment.

And Harry is nice too. Though in a way I don't like Harry to be. Brash and hot-headed and all that, but it's written well so I can deal with it.

 

Well I just finished reading what you have written so far and I must say that it just keeps getting better. When I started off I was a little hesitant due to all the angst revolving around Malfoy, however your story just kept drawing me in. The last 4 or 5 chapter I feel have been the best part of your work, while they aren't as romancy as the beginning ones they are drawing the plot along nicely. They also have started to deviate from canon which is always a good thing imo. I really hope that this isn't abandoned because now I can't wait for the next chapter.

Cheers.

 

Does anyone know whether the author is still working on this? Cause it would right a shame to end the story where it now is....

 

Ironically, that's usually where authors do abandon fics. They get to a massive potential fork in the plot, can't decide what to do about it, and start procrastinating. God knows that's why I've never published a chapter.

 

Truth. If she's honest, she'll admit as much being the case if she starts it up again. Or she'll come with the normal "ZOMG i was so busy" or "my harddrive/computer crashed". Either way, best bet is to be patient or PM and see if she responds - she's a member here after all

 

I've been reading this one for a while and I like it. This was a new ship for me and Kendra pulled it off well. I can't wait to see how it ends.


5/5

 

Decent. A little slow at times, but very well written and thought out. Adding it to my FF.N favs now.

5/5

 

I liked it first ever pairing of HP/AJ, I don't like Nevile becoming powerful thought I mean what the fuck just because he could of been in the prophecy doesn't make him powerful he's a god damn squib.

I had to skip the Draco angst shit to and I been she makes Angelina/Harry break up or make Angelina die. I mean it happens in every story now.

3.5/5

 

Bad to necro, I know, but given that 1- there is not a chance of an update to get people' hope up, and 2- the links provided on this page are completely obsolete, I feel justified enough.

Thought I would point out that this story has been "retired" by its author, who now goes by the name kendrawriter33 on FFN. Is it DLP's policy to respect the writer's wishes with this sort of decision, or could someone post a pdf/epub version here? I wouldn't mind reading it, but not if k_writer really doesn't want her story disseminated any longer.

 

The ff.net link is dead. Does anyone have an alternate link or even the story in a txt or epub format. I really like the length, even is it is abandoned, and the HP/AJ pairing is really rare. And there is a really stupid rule that the message should be atleast 200 characters, so here is a totally unnecessary line to increase the length.

 

archive.org has it -- see here: https://web.archive.org/web/20150918225157/https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2816523/1/
I know the author has "retired" the story, but she(?) didn't say anything against disseminating copies.