Guy fucked goats
owned a gross pub, seemed pretty weird
caused the fight that killed his sister

Seeing as how there's a thread for Daphne who only has one line in the books about her, I'm sure we can find more flaws about aberforth.

 

Aberforth stole Daphne from Harry

 

didn't put the seat down after pissing

 

"My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high, and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery..." (from GoF)

Wonder if they got any pics for the cover of that Daily Prophet...

 

His goat is a transfigured house elf and he drank the milk anyway.

Served alcohol to minors, but it was unintentional - he just left a dirty glass out too long and the pumpkin juice fermented.

The sick bastard named his pub after that one time David Cameron got a nosh off a severed pig's head.

 

What have you done? you should have saved this content for next week.

Aberforth was a great man, a great supporter of neutrality, little sisters and the man that put Dumbasdoor's powers in check. He used is pub as a front to spy on his evil brother and help Daphne bringing Harry back to neutrality.

A noble soul.

 

smh Aberforth (skip to 26 seconds)

 

Ceterum raptum Daphne

 

What is it about farming goats that makes people think you fuck them? I mean you never hear jokes about cattle herders fucking cows, or snake-breeders fucking their snakes, but as soon as someone starts breeding goats the knowing nods and winks start. Is it some innate subconscious desire for all people to fuck goats that bubbles up in desperate denial expressed through humour? Why is it so incomprehensible that I might just want to have platonic friendship with a goat, rather than desiring its sweet, sweet rear end?

#JusticeForAberforth

 

I imagine it's something similar to degenerates who piss in sinks---it's the right height. Cows are too tall and snakes... well, I don't care how you like your Fleshlight.