:an army of the dead rising from the black water.
"Merlin, I where did I put that cricket bat?"

 

Harry:"Erm... Ginny in order to defeat Voldemort a human sacrifice will be necessary."
Ginny:"Oh my god, Harry you don't wanna kill anyone do you?"
Harry:"What! No that's not it can I use you?"
Ginny:"There are better ways to express our love."
Harry:"I'll be naked..."
Ginny:"It's a deal."

 

"At times like this i'm so glad I've been playing Dead Rising"

 

Harry: "Ah, there it is. Shaun of the Dead, here's hoping that I learnt well!"

 

[daydream begins] The blind Basilisk hurled itself at Harry again; Fawkes was still singing, having probably failed to notice it wasn't the right time for doing his scales -- but ha, Dumbledore had threatened to pluck him if he ever sang out of tune again. Harry obviously wouldn't have any help from the bird; and he was starting to get desperate -- and Riddle's mad laughing into the distance wasn't helping matters either, the sound was actually quite irritating -- when the solution came to him in one sudden stroke of inspiration.

He ran to little Ginny Weasley's limp form, a crumpled, dirty heap on the stone floor of the Chamber of Secrets, and seized her by the shoulders. Only she could help him.

"Ginny?" he called urgently. "Ginny!"

But Ginny wouldn't wake up...

Good. It will be easier if she doesn't struggle.

Relieved, Harry hauled her up and held her at arms' length in front of the snarling Basilisk.

Man she's heavy. I should've known. Not only did she strangle Hagrid's chicken, but she also ate them.

The Basilisk sniffed suspiciously.

"Want her?" Harry called in Parseltongue. "Good to eat. Good little girl. Full of chicken."

The Basilisk froze, and there was a distinct look of disgust and disappointment on its big, ugly face.

"D'you really think I'm gonna eat that?" it hissed in Parseltongue. "Who d'you think I am?"

Harry dropped Ginny to the floor.

"Sorry," he said apologetically.

And he started running again. [end of daydream]


Sorry, I can't help over-describing even when I write that sort of thing...

 

Ginny: You shouldn't feel so bad about Sirius. Maybe...maybe he was destined to die there.

I stood up from my seat, and narrowed my eyes.

She started talking sh*t wouldncha know,

so I reached back like a pimp and I slapped da hoe.

 

"Well, it's just that I was sort of right about the Half Blood Prince Buisness." Hermione said tentatively.

Harry stared at her in complete disbelief. "What are you? Fucking stupid? You weren't even close you dumb cunt! I was right about fucking Malfoy from dcay 1, and you say you're sort for right?" Harry reached back belted Hermione across the face with his potions textbook. " PRINCE you dumb bitch. SNAPE WAS THE PRINCE!!!"

 

( what should have been said at the end of year feast)

dumbledore: and I award mr potter 100 points to gryffindor, for his enormous talent at arsekissing