Sounds like an excuse to intro Moon Knight before his series.

 

What If...Zombies?

Spoiler

Peter Parker: makes a Zombieland style orientation video of rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse.
Also Peter Parker: makes the first entry one about covering up as much flesh as possible.
Also Also Peter Parker: proceeds to not wear his mask for the entire episode. Also doesn't get a jacket for Happy or Bruce, letting them go bare-armed.

 

They were pretty good, up until this one, maintaining some semblance of logic. But this shit was pure crackfic.

 

Well okay then.
...

 

Finally got to see Black Widow (didn't manage to get to see it in the cinema because of self-isolation stuff, and refused to spend stupid money on Disney+ for a chance to see it a few weeks early). It was okay. Definitely should have been released after Civil War. Everything felt supremely pointless due to how out-of-order it was.

Spoiler

In general, I liked the characters and the ideas, but the execution left me a little cold.

For a spy adventure it was just far too linear, with no real mystery or tension. The 'can you even trust yourself' angle was set up when Yelena was so insistent in questioning Natasha about her hit on Dreykov, but they didn't really do anything with it. The whole central thing of mind-control, and the possibilities that affords to twists, betrayals, and interesting storytelling was almost completely ignored. All we got was the pheromone thing stopping Nat from harming Dreykov, but even that the characters went into with full knowledge. It was always part of the plan.

Perhaps I'm looking at it wrong. Maybe it wasn't meant to be a spy adventure. Maybe it really was intended to be a kind of found family light drama, set on a backdrop of explosions and Marvel CGI. If that was the plan, I guess it was fine, but it's a strange decision for Black Widow's send off.

Or maybe it wasn't Black Widow's send off. Maybe it was meant to be New-Black Widow's origin story. If that's the case then they really didn't do enough to convince me that Nat can be Yelena's Yinsen, despite having an entire movie to do it. Sure, they love each other, but there wasn't that same feeling that Nat had altered something fundamental in Yelena's world view.

Some of the little notes also didn't really land with me. So the Budapest that Nat was joking about to her friend in an upbeat way was the same event that drives much of her self-doubt and loathing in this one? That seemed very strange. Probably would have preferred it if they'd left Budapest as a noodle incident. Not everything needs to be a call back.

Still, while it didn't light a fire in my loins, it'll probably end up on the list of Marvel movies we occasionally rewatch. I had a pleasant enough 2 hours.

 

I guess Black Widow was okay. Not great, but okay.

The two main thoughts I had on the movie: First, Taskmaster is the perfect kind of villain for Black Widow to face off against. However, I feel like he was wasted on this movie as a secondary antagonist and was barely on screen. Second, they remember that Black Widow is supposed to be a badass normal, right? Some of the things she pulled off were clearly superhuman. A minor cut and taking some ibuprofen does not mean that it's okay for the characters to survive being dropped off of a three story building.

 

I completely agree on this. It felt to me like they reduced Taskmaster an inferior imitation of Bucky from The Winter Soldier. Mysterious badass with a mask? Check. The person under the mask is from the protagonist's past? Double check. Sympathetic figure only fighting because they're brainwashed? You get the point.

The fact that Taskmaster was relegated to second fiddle behind such a bland main villain only made it worse. I barely remember anything about the central antagonist beyond a Russian accent and penchant for clichéd villain monologues, and I usually have a really good memory for characters.

 

Watched it over the weekend. I don't think it deserves the vitriol it is getting. At the same time won't be making into my top 10 MCU. Strictly mid-tier.

The characters were distinctive enough. The tone was a bit melancholic, which kinda seemed off for an MCU flick, but it was something different at least.

 

^This. It's not a bad film, but not one I'm itching to rewatch.

 

The post-credits scene ties it into the MCU after some kind of multiversal shenanigans, presumably related to whatever's going to happen in No Way Home.

 

Spiderman Poster:

Spoiler

 

You know, I'm something of a villain myself.

It's Willem Dafoe, not Willem Dafriend.

 

Really enjoyed Eternals. It was different, which I at least have been craving. Off the top of my head, it's more enjoyable than 10 other MCU installments. Was definitely a bit meandering at times with pacing, but overall I found it interesting and a breath of fresh air in a franchise that loves making the same movie over and over again.

Suffered from so many 'main' characters, but I feel like they did everyone justice (I know very little about the backstories, but everyone seemed multidimensional). Should be trimmer as we move forward.

 

Saw Shang-Chi. It was solid.

Spoiler

Really enjoyed everything outside of Ta Lo. Some of the Ta Lo stuff was cool, but the lack of lore buildup, only to have Michelle Yeoh explanation dump the backstory, was pure cringe. Also, while the effects of the Xianxia fight segments were decent, some of them could have used a rethink.

For example, it was minimal but I really really really wish they hadn't included any mystical anti-grav flying/leaping. At all. This remnant of old wirework techniques is such an awful outdated staple of the genre and I wish it would die. We can make fantasy fights look so much better these days with modern wirework, cgi, and real physics.

Like, Shang-Chi's last fight with his pops looked soooooo good, but then there was that shit-tier tai chi fight at the beginning that was absolute trash. If they hadn't immediately swapped gears, and I thought I was going to be in for a Xianxia flying chinese people wankfest for more than 20 minutes or so, I might have walked out.

All the Wong love was great. Everything needs more Wong.

 

I think the main issue with Eternals was that the movie had interesting characters and concepts, but none were really explored all that well, if at all. This really needed 8-episodes to do it justice.

 

That seems to be the problem i see with everything these days after WandaVision. 6-8 episodes would do this way more justice.

Also

Spoiler

where tf was shield and the surviving avengers during all of this

 

More snippets from D+ Day:

Moon Knight:


She Hulk:


Ms Marvel:



Other new stuff now officially coming within the next few years:

- Secret Invasion
- Agatha:House of Harkness
- I am Groot
- X-men '97 (reboot of xmen cartoon)
- Echo
- Marvel's Zombies (spinoff from that one cracked What if)
- Ironheart
- Spider Man: Freshman Year