Lets see...

-Harry has nothing in common with canon!Harry except his name. (-1)
-He's totally overpowered. (-1)
-Pre-teen sex. (-1)
-No plot. (-1)
-Mary Sue. (-1)

Normally a fic like this would go to the 'burn-it-with-fire' category, but as the fic is at least well written, I'm going to grudgingly give it 2/5.

 

-AU world
-Death is his indentured servant...
-Pre-teen sex >_>
-True.
-Watch the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. She is awesome and he captured her character well.

EDIT: Forgot to add rating. 3-4/5 since I think Draco's death was just slightly too long. I began to get bored when reading it, but otherwise it was good. Preteen sex takes off another point too.

 

Dissenting opinion, I guess.

No plot. Silly death scenes. And I guess I have a problem when I read about Harry responding to those who heckle him. Yes, Draco Malfoy is a douchebag. Yes, Draco Malfoy is an asshole. But every author approaches confronting him with a smirk, a tell-tale Wyatt Earp like draw from wandholster and a beating that would make the LAPD green with envy. Or something of that nature - which is what this is. It's different but sugarcoating a shit concept still leaves shit when you brush past the surface.

Eleven and twelve year olds have sex, yes. But so do eighteen, nineteen, twenty and eighty year olds. If you can't do romance/eros scenes tactfully, don't add them. If Ruskbyte thinks the issue with his innuendo/sex garbage is the age of the people involved, he's half right. He's an adult and anyone over the age of 18 who writes about children getting it on is a fucking scumbag (see: Kinsfire).

Despite that, 99.9% of the time, your romance and or sex scene will be terrible regardless of whether the people involved in them have pubic hair. So the other half of the issue is that: these scenes are shit. There are very few people who can pull it off and almost none of them write fan fiction.

So yes, reading about a weirdly shaped cartoon character and a wizard talking about sex like almost no one I know would talk about it is in fact a hindrance. It's fucking disgusting and shitty and I don't even take into account their age. When I do, I want to find the person and cut them open with a machete.

Yes, Ruskbyte made the most awesome one shot in the history of fanfiction. It just isn't this one.

1/5.

 

Well, that did it for me. Plus nothing really happened. It was meant to be creepy and based on atmosphere rather than plot I suppose, but the eleven year olds constantly groping each other as the most repeated element of the story shot past creepy and landed on gross.

2/5

 

4/5 and I'd love to see more.

 

Ruskbyte could conceivably have used the underage sex to make his characters seem more distant from their peers or something of that nature, but it was too overt. If eleven year-olds do have sex, they aren't talking about it every few lines of dialogue.

The ending wasn't anything close to resembling an ending, and the writing is a notch or two below From the Abyss & the Hellblazer one-shot.

2/5. I don't know why he was that zealous in portraying child sex. If Ruskbyte intended to write this as an exercise in atmosphere as Dirk Diggory suggested, he was overly reliant on shock value.

 

It could have been used to show just how corrupted they have become, how their thought processes, behavior, and whatnot, have been altered from the norm, but there just wasn't enough actual character development beyond the sneering arrogance of the principal players.

Yes, we get it, everyone on earth is beneath the two of you, alright already. It's a tricky thing to make characters that are full of themselves and likable at the same time. Maybe if they had been more cold/indifferent to others and less arrogant they'd have been easier to tolerate.

Anyway...

One wonders, have the two of them been changed and corrupted by their association with this Death entity? Or, alternately, did they do something which corrupted or changed them enough to attract or allow them to communicate with Death?

Either one of those options could be taken in many different directions and help explain why they are the way they are. Unfortunately, there's nothing there.



At least Culture Shock is going to get updated. I have a real love/hate thing going on with Ruskbyte's stories, since I'm starting to think that the only way he ever finishes one is by making it a oneshot.

 

He finished Order of the Phoenix! ... years ago.

 

You're thinking of JKR. :awesome:awesome

Seriously though, yes, he did finish Order of The Phoenix/Well of Shadows back in the day (does that count as two stories or just one?).

I guess I'm just irked over Backwards Compatible, Flying Without a Broom, and From The Abyss.

I liked Order/Well, but they aren't too terribly far removed from many other fics you could find (okay, they might have been at the time, I don't recall). The really unique fics he starts though, seem to go unfinished.

Thankfully he comes up with some good one-shots.

 

Ignoring the squick, the massive squick, I think this fic did very well in terms of characterization. I think that this is exactly what 11 year olds with nigh absolute power would do. Immature? Shortsighted? Yeah. What kids who regard people as amusing playthings to break would do? Absolutely.

Draco's death went on to tediousness, Lucius's made little sense (how the fuck did they even know he was there?), and Snape's was entertainingly ironic, and thankfully short.

4/5 as a oneshot.

As an intro to a series? I wouldn't give a rating (first chapter), but it would only be the author that would keep me reading. It's not a promising start.

 

Umm, yuck.

It was fairly well written, I'll give it that. But you've got to be kidding me -- Harry and what's-her-name from a cartoon, going to Hogwarts and p0wning all the wizards because they have a pet Death doing their bidding? I dislike crossovers in general, and the premise for this one was just silly.

I was not impressed by the author's defensive note that "11-year-olds do have sex." Yes, I have no doubt there are 11-year-olds who have sex, but I've never met an 11-year-old who'd have a such a cynical, witty, dry demeanor towards shagging each other as these two do, nor can I imagine an 11-year-old girl watching all hell break loose, another boy getting his skull crushed, and then leaning over to her "boyfriend" and whispering, “I just had my best orgasm of the day.”

And on and on it went: Harry and Amanda are Mary-Sues of the worst sort. Well-written Mary-Sues, and for that I might have given this story 2 stars, but the absurdity of prepubescent sex adepts with more power than the rest of the wizarding world just makes it impossible for me to give it more than 1.

 

After reading the first few paragraphs, Ruskbyte has now replaced Kinsfire as the most pedophile pervert in popular fandom.

 

I don't think that's possible

 

Considering that it has in fact happened, it might just be.

 

I don't think so. I'm convinced Ruskbyte thought he was doing something artistic and edge rather than a real lust for children apparent in Kinsfire's works.

 

I... couldn't get through it. Which is sad because I normally enjoy his writing.

Too much, too young, too weird. I'm going to pretend that Ruskbyte was having an off day and give this a 2/5.

 

Seriously. I've liked to loved all of his works, but this just seemed...useless.

 

Decidedly Gruesome in that 'watching a car crash 'cause you just can't look away' manner. Intriguing yes, very much so, but I'm glad it's a one-shot. It's WAY to addictively morbid.

4.5/5

 

Very additively morbid. 4.5/5

I just couldn't look away and found myself hoping for more even though I knew better.