Title: Misconceptions
Author: Dreams2Paper11
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Angst
DLP Category: Alternate
Pairing: N/A yet
Status: WIP
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 41,192
Summary: “AU. You always get the Twin-Who-Lived stories where Voldemort enters the story almost immediately and sweeps Harry away, and Harry subsequently becomes the feared dark heir of Voldemort. This one's a little different.”
Link: FF.net

I’ve been watching this story since it began back in January. At first glance it’s a "slow to start" story. In fact it isn’t until recently that she has actually moved forward with the major changes to her Alternate Reality. Even so, her writing is smooth. While not artistic, per se, she has flow and purpose behind each sentence. Some extra detail, but not overdone. Ironically, while she mentions avoiding worn concepts she still ends up using some. But they don’t feel the same as in other stories which have a tendency to be pejorative. Indeed, it is a fresher more realistic view on some of the older themes while still keeping with the popular hype of the mentor Voldemort motif. I rather like how she has portrayed her character thus far. Harry isn’t bookish or too smart, though at one point she directly mentions this, which was an eye-rolling moment if I ever saw one. Though, it is not like such things can’t be brushed out later on. The only part I did find some disappointment in is the extreme lack of awareness from Dumbledore or Harry’s parents when he disappears for hours at a time. Whether this could be explained away by neglect or disinterest or any number of other things, it's not my place to say. However, I would have liked to see one individual notice even if it was in passing.


Beyond this, I think this is a good story for review. Thus far I am willing to follow it and am finding some enjoyment in the journey. I’m not certain on how it will turn out since it is still early. Even so, it is far enough in that I thought it deserved some recognition. In my opinion, it's a tentative 4/5 with a potential for more.

 

Could you write more on the topic of what this story is about, except the short mention of Voldemort-mentors-Harry? And why should we read it? Your description just paints it as uninteresting, boring and bland story about old motif that - by some miracle - was done in a more refreshing way. Maybe I'm wrong, and this story is truly great, but right now I don't see why I should waste time to read it? Does it have great characters or interesting plot, beyond already mentioned Voldemort mentoring Harry and Harry not being bookish or too smart?

 

The thing is, the story has the same plot as most others. The difference is the authors wit. She has taken the old concept and tried to make it her own. This might not interest some, but I found it to be refreshing.

Harry is normal, but in the face of adversity even normal persons can become great. She really takes this idea and incorporates it into her story, using some old themes to draw interest yet giving some life to it. She plays with a child's mentality and really sticks to the fact that Harry is still a boy, not an adult in a boys body. He's young, he's impressionable, malleable, and easily manipulated. Voldemort takes advantage of this fact.

The nice thing about this fic, is Voldemort. He isn't the rash monster that some stories portray. In this one, he is composed and careful. He thinks things through, uses his advantages, and moves his pawns with precision. In my opinion, its a good start.

Unfortunately, I can't say where she will take this story. But I found it to be unique, a sort of refurbished antique.

 

This story isn't looking good, I read the first chapter it was a lot of tell not show. Also, neglectful parents bread scraps, and magical cores :facepalm I haven't read enough to rate it but so far Nope/5

 

Eh.

At the fifth chapter so far, and while technically the writing is, good, there are definitely things that are annoying about the story. Magical cores, magical signatures, and magical blocks are incorporated -- in addition to the light-gray-dark foolishness which seems to go hand-in-hand with those.

I'd say the characterizations are good -- and for the most part, they are -- but a key part of the story is that James and Lily are very neglectful of Harry in favor of his twin, the Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived, and I don't consider that good characterization.

On the upside of the characterization bit, Dumbledore and Voldemort are done well. Voldemort's sections were actually some of my favorite to read. I suppose Harry is too, for a child, but he swings rapidly from being extremely intelligent and composed(more so than a typical child would be) to being very fragile and emotional.

It also just kind of hit me that, really, it's silly to think that a decade after Voldemort was vanquished people are still going to be going crazy every time the Boy-Who-Lived shows up somewhere. In canon, it's justified because Harry just disappeared for ten years, but in these stories, the BWL is always so much more public. I can't help but think that the newness would wear off in a few years. Could be that I'm wrong about that, though...

In chapter six. I'm vaguely interested by how Lucius Malfoy was handled. Fairly decent characterization there, I suppose.

It's still really jarring how adult Harry's thoughts seem most of the time, except occasionally when the author attributes childish emotions to him or has him remind himself that he's only eight or nine or whatever.

A second wand. I'm... really not sure how to feel about that. On the upside, it was handled passably well. The wand wasn't made out of ridiculous materials, or anything.

Just finished the last chapter. I'm not crazy on the begging and submission and whatnot from Harry; it always turns me off in a main character. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker (blank101 had it in his excellent SW fics and handled it well enough, I suppose) but combined with everything else, I doubt I'll be waiting breathlessly for updates.

The story is definitely readable, and relatively enjoyable, but personally I don't think it's Library-worthy. It has a decent bit of potential, even with the problems outlined above, and I probably will pay attention to it, but in its current form I don't think it's quite there. Personally, I think that as Harry ages it will probably improve a great deal; a lot of what doesn't work for me relates to Harry's rather jarring adult-like thought processes.

So, in summary, I suppose I'd give this story a 3/5. Not great, not horrible, with the potential to become better depending on where the author goes.

 

The prose is very flowery.

I know there are a lot of unfinished stories in the library (something I generally disagree with, but that's another topic), but it still feels like it's still too early to ask if this belongs there, despite having 41k words. That number includes a pretty solid chunk of author's notes where she responds to reviews and such, so it's inflated a bit, but right now all that's here is the setup. The average update rate is two chapters a week, maybe in another month we'll be able to see where it's going.

 

Honestly, I've got no problems with 'magical cores'. It is the authors decision to ultimately to take up a magical system and build his/her story over it and since it's fanfiction, that is allowed.

Coming to the story, there isn't much happening. It still is in the beginning stages. Despite having 8 chapters, nothing much happened except Voldemort manipulating a child and Harry falling prey.

There is no character bashing, so that itself is a plus point. And the author is leaning towards a Daphne Greengrass pairing, with which, while I have no problem, I hate it when she is the darling daughter of rich parents who live in a castle bigger than Hogwarts.

I'll see where this goes, but it's too early to put up for review since NOTHING actually happened.

 

Eh, I read this yesterday and it held my attention. Unfortunately it's cliché-heavy and the prose is over the top. Characterisation is really hit and miss here. While Dumbledore, Voldemort, and Lucius Malfoy were all done well, James and Lily are terrible. Harry's brother Michael is a fairly standard Wrong Boy Who Lived (arrogant, selfish, etc.) but with a few redeeming qualities. Harry himself has some decent moments where I think he could be an interesting protagonist, but others where I just cringe.

Harry's submission to Voldemort irks me a little, but as another reviewer already said, the whole situation is vaguely reminiscent of blank101's Star Wars fics, so I'm willing to go along with it and see how it turns out.

Events are going along at a snail's pace in the larger scope of time, unfortunately. I hope it all picks up soon so I don't have to read another 40,000 words just to get up to the first year of Hogwarts.

The writing is of decent quality, but too wordy and elaborate.

Altogether, because the pace of this story is so slow, I really feel it's too early to give a rating. What I can say is that, if you can stomach some clichés, it's mildly entertaining.

 

Read the first chapter, wtf ensues.

Read author note and is completely convinced author is an insane idiot or an idiotic madman.

James and Lily are neglectful to the point where I sometimer wonder if they have alzheimers, seeing as they sometimes forget another baby popped out of Lily. But atleast they don't give Harry beatings for shits and giggles, because the author doesn't think that'd be realistic.

Then there's that little gem "reviews=updates" at the end of the AN.

:facepalm

 

What's odd is that the first chapter has little continuity with the rest of them. I think the author must have changed her mind about a bunch of the stuff in there, because James and Lily actually sit down to a meal with both of them in a later chapter.

 

Yeah, I had actually forgotten about the food bit in the first chapter as the later chapters ignore it entirely. After the first chapter, the neglect is a bit more realistic -- for example, when the Potters go to Diagon Alley to get Michael his wand, they give Harry some gold to buy books with instead when he asks for it. Harry's not being treated equally, but it's definitely not on the level of wtf as the first chapter.

 

The entire premise of the wrong-boy-who-lived trope in its current incarnation is so fundamentally flawed that it will eventually make the story unreadable, no matter what the author does about it. It relies entirely on James and Lily (and usually everyone else) suddenly becoming massive cocks for no reason, which is bad enough on its own, and then mysteriously un-cocking themselves down the line when Harry becomes awesome and the plot demands some emotional resolution or other such bullshit. No matter how hard the author tries, you can't fix something this broken.

I say "in its current incarnation" because it should be entirely possible to write a WBWL story, it's just that nobody ever seems to take it a step beyond "Harry's parents suck at parenting". What if, after Voldemort attacks the Potters, Dumbledore/Voldemort/Gandalf/James Bond preform some nastily complex spell to erase the memory of the real Boy-Who-Lived from everyone and then whisk him away for protection/training/nefarious purposes? Or just curse Harry so that he's ignored by everyone for an actual reason, and the story is his quest to break the curse on himself? It would probably still suck a fat one, but at least it's not 100 percent retarded.

This story gets a 2.5/5 from me, rounded down because I thought it sucked. The purple prose is technically correct, but a bit much in most places, and I've already expressed my opinion on the plot. This is probably a better fit in the Almost Recommendable thread, though on the "barely readable" end of the spectrum.

 

While I like Dumbledore's characterization, the rest of the characters are so cliche ridden its hard to read. I see no reason for James and Lily to ignore Harry to the level that they have. Even if they did, others would have noticed and tried to do something. Not at all looking forward to reading more.

 

Sorry. Was just too boring.
I really tried to push my belief to the limit so I could accept the fic, but it was just a piece of crap.

I could probably quote a bunch of stuff, but the fic is just too bad. I wouldn't even know what parts to quote. It took me 5 sittings to read those 8 chapters. It was seriously a lot of effort finishing it, and I can honestly say, it does not get better.

Though gotta say, the fact that the author doesn't know what a Het pairing means, was kinda funny.

1/5.

 

It angers me that I would probably enjoy this fic, in a guilty pleasure sort of way, if there was more written, or if the plot actually went anywhere in the 41 thousand some words already written. but, as others commented, nothing really happens, and the prose seems excessive and dry in contrast to the lack of content; the two factors seem to combine to make a thoroughly boring read...

All this story does is highlight the fact that Santi's Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived, arguably the only twin!Harry fic of quality (that I've read), hasn't been updated in over a year.

2/5 for decent grammar, and for some decent workings. 3/5 if Voldemort didn't come off as some pedo wanting 9-year-old Harry's D.

 

I have just finished reading this story (or the first eight chapters of it), and have decided that I probably wouldn't read anymore. I should preface my review by stating the twin boy who lived cliche doesn't bother me as long as the story is decent. This story isn't decent. Harry has a block on his magic which bothers me. The author's notes are way too long and annoying. Although The grammar and spelling haven't bothered me (which isn't saying much) the plot is dull. To top it all off the story moves very slowly. I do like Voldemort's characterization. For that alone this story is a 2.5/5. Although I'm going to round down because this story just isn't DLP worthy.