During the first task of the TriWizard Tournament, accio's his broom, looks away at the wrong moment and it rams into his throat at high speed, cracking his windpipe. He dies slowly and painfully in front of a giant crowd.

 

GoF: figures out the egg mystery before the second task and surfaces from the water too quickly, bashing in his skull on a water faucet.

 

Third year. When Aunt Marge pisses him off, Harry blows up himself.

Fifth year. Dumbledore is forced to go into hiding when an inappropriate relationship between him and Harry ends in Harry's violent death...let's just say he's the master of another Death stick.

Fifth year. During detention, the Blood Quill cuts lines across his wrist while defiantly writing "I'm a hero, not a liar."

Fourth year. Dobby didn't give him gillyweed - it was seaweed. What the crowd thought was gillyweed taking effect and him diving to breath was actually Harry suffocating.

Second year. Harry breaks his arm after the quidditch match, Lockhart offers his assistance. He vanishes his tracchea.

7th year, when Snape's about to die:
Snape: Potter...look...at me...
Potter: Yes, professor?
Snape: Avada Kedavra!

 

Fails to evade Dobby's bludgers and gets bludgered to death.

Miscalculates the drop into the COS and goes splat.

 

In Fifth year is flattened to death by Garp wanting to play smashy-smashy

 

2nd year: The snake eats him in the cos when the hat didnt give Harry the sword.

3rd year: With Lupin still asleep the dementer gives Harry a kiss.

 

All seven books, Kenny style:

1st year: Ron really isn't that good at chess.

2nd year: Harry drinks the punch at Nick's Death Day celebration.

3rd year: Crossover with A Clockwork Orange. After fleeing his Aunt's and Uncle's house, but before meeting up with Sirius in dog form, Harry runs into Alex and his gang, who curbstomp him to oblivion. (Hey, it beats being crushed by a giant phallus!)

4th year: Falls out of the box at the World Cup when the Bulgarian Veela do their thing.

5th year: Did you know Harry had hemophilia? Neither did he until that detention with Umbridge.

6th year: Romalda Vane made a tiny error in her love potion and instead of amorous, Ron turns homicidal.

7th year: Ron doesn't arrive in time and Harry is strangled to death by the locket. His last conscious thought is, "I guess it was pretty stupid to wear this thing, wasn't it."

 

A one shot of the first one would be lulzy. The others are funny in their own way, but I can picture the lulzchess so perfectly.

 

Harry chops off his own leg when he swipes with Gryffindor's sword at the Basilisk and misses horribly. Bleeds out as he listens to the taunts of Tom Riddle.

 

Heh. I could probably do a credible chess fic. (I used to play competitively).

In Philosopher's Stone, JKR wrote Ron's play as being pretty crappy. From her description, he went on a "knight's tour" early in the match, sacrificing gobs of tempo for material, and he found himself on his heels for much of the match. This matches Ron's personality to a tee.

 

- 2nd year: Hermione can't brew polyjuice for shit. they all die to poison.

- Everybody thinks Harry's twin is the BWL and Harry gets fed up. He secretly infiltrates Voldemort's base using his secretly trained stealth and assassin skillz. Gets lost and dies.

- Harry discovers the ancient art of internal alchemy, Daoist style! Ingests mercury and dies.

- After getting our from under Dubledore's thumb, independent!Harry goes on a trip through Knockturn Alley to find the darkest of the dark arts. Gets a wand "crafter" to make an uber!wand with 1 billion ultra rare ingredients. Blows up in his face, killing him.

 

1st year - Snape's potion logic trick was a trap. Dumbledore knew ahead of time which was the real potion, and the one that Hermione deduced went forward did just that - on to the next great adventure.

3rd year - Harry's patronus reaches himself just seconds after he's kissed. Perpetual cycle of Harry trapped in inevitable soul-suck.

4th year - Just as if one who puts their name into the goblet and does not compete loses their magic/dies, so to does one who did not enter and attempts to compete anyway.

6th year - Felix Potion decides for Harry he's better offing himself than risking the next year.

7th year - Dies of natural causes/old age in the Forest of Dean. I certainly almost did.

 

Pick a summer - Dursleys lock him in his bedroom and leave for vacation. Dies from dehydrataion

 

Voldemort's AK doesn't rebound off Harry has a baby and kills him.

 

Harry and Draco are expecting a child (Harry took the male pregnancy potion). Later, Harry dies from a postpartum hemorrhage.

(Not Indy!Harry, granted).

 

SS/PS: Harry falls off the cart on his first trip to his vault in Gringotts.

SS/PS: During his first year when first learning to ride a broom, he crashes into the walls of Hogwarts reaching for the remembrall.

HBP: When Harry is petrified on the roof of Hogwarts, he is noticed/discovered by one of the death eaters who then proceeds to push him over the edge of the wall.

 

Killed by a man with two dildos [the only way to protect yourself is to have a really big black guy around.]

 

3rd year: gets eaten by werewolf lupin

1st year: Gets killed by Quirell/Voldemort in the forbidden forrest

1st year: He gets eaten trying to sneak past Fluffy
2nd year: He makes the mistake to look the basilisk in the eyes
2nd year: He gets eaten by Aragog
Anytime: Vernon gets tired of him during the summer holidays and shoots him

He gets raped to death by a rabid Gorilla

He dies from a heart attack when he sees Dumbledore running naked through the halls of Hogwarts

He spontaneously combusts

He gets butchered by Mundugus Fletcher who sells his body parts on the blackmarket

He gets run over by a buffalo

Snape puts him in a jar and that causes him to slowly die from lack of air

He falls into an active volcano

He gets run over by the Hogwarts express

The dursleys eat him

 

Voldemort doesn't miss his Avada Kedavra in GOF,,and nobody figures out what happened.

 

The statue that protects Harry at the Ministry in fifth year is a little too protective and it suffocates him.