Huh... That's uncanny. I don't even visit that site. It was on my list of things to make fun of if I ever got around to it.

 

Horace Slughorn wasn't known to be a crack-shot potion maker. Unfortunately for Harry, the Felix Felicis he won in potions ended up giving him severe constipation.

Two weeks later, Harry's disfigured body is found on top of the biggest piece of shit ever recorded.

And thus, Bono was born.

 

There's an author on FFA.net with a continuous story called "1,001 Deaths of Voldemort"

...I think we have a proper rebuttal here.

 

Alright let's see here... Ignoble deaths.

1st year: Opening feast, first time he's ever gotten a meal that big. Stomach ruptures (not really possible) or good old fashioned choking on vomit in his sleep.

2nd year: Extreme allergy to phoenix tears. Fawkes had no idea.

3rd year: Goes back in time with Hermione, waits for the other him to leave, and then forgets to bow before approaching Buckbeak.

4th year: Dobby gives him gillyweed for the second task. Harry chews it before the task starts and doesn't make it to water in time.

5th year: Demonstrates to the DA how a shield can block the power of a muggle hand grenade. Turns out it can't.

6th year: Romilda Vane stuns him and then tries to give him mouth-to-mouth. She accidentally cracks three ribs and punctures his heart. She never notices while she's making out with unconscious and dying Harry.

7th year: JKR's was more ignoble than anything I could come up with. Though there's something to be said for wand in his back pocket blowing a buttock off and him bleeding out. That'd be pretty ignoble.

 

HBP: Draco Curbstomps him on the train station.

OotP: The centaurs kill Hermione and Him, being on Umbridges side.

GoF: Fleur seduces him, it is revealed she is a succubus and ends up eating him.

OotP: Neville trips, stuns Lupin, Harry breaks free of Lupin and runs into the veil.

PoA: Knot trick doesn't work, large branch rips Harry in half.

GoF: At the Quidditch World Cup, their tent gets torched by the DE's, everyone burns to death.

Pre-HP: Voldemort steals soem rocks and throws a rock a baby!Harry instead of AK'ing him.

 

Abused and neglected Harry runs away from home, only to starve to death on the streets.

A mysterios relative rescues Harry from Private Drive only to sell his organs on the black market.

Harry shakes Draco`s hand that day on the train, and dies at Christmas at the Malfoy house.

Realizing he is a methamorphogus he transforms into a older version to impress Tonks, his heart explodes.

Harry went back to the time of Founders, and dies from the plague.

 

Murton's suggestions are full of win :awesome

Hagrid leaves Harry alone on at the train station, Harry gets stabbed and mugged by a local bum.

 

Harry tought the DA the reductor curse. Neville's aim could use some work.

 

Voldemort decides to just get Harry killed ASAP....and damn the prophecy.

Moody: "The most powerful piece of dark magic is the killing curse...and only one person has ever survived it is sitting in front of me...and now let's see whether he can do it again! AVADA KEDAVRA"

Harry: *dies*

 

After hours of research, Harry decides he's ready to try to make his very own Gryffindor-like sword. He conjured the anvil on his head.

 

IndyHarry?

Harry's new occlumency shields stood firm against Snape's Legilimantic onslaught. Within the fortress of his mind Harry scorned the feeble attempts of his aggressor. Unfortunately in constructing the massive mental defenses to keep everything out they also had the unintended consequence of keeping everything in. It took three days for his body to give out.

 

CoS: Dobby misses with the pudding, instead knocking scrawny Harry down with the heavy container, pudding side down. Unconsious Harry suffocates as his relatives figure that Harry would be fine as they tended to Marge's fright and the incoming owl.

 

HBP - When trying to get to the Slug Club meeting on the Express, Harry misses a step when travelling through the train carts. Gets mangled by the second half of the train.

 

When Harry goes to the Will reading of one Sirius Black, the goblins inform him that he is the heir of Merlin. Due to Merlins unpaid debt to Gringotts, Harry has to pay with his life.

After Hedwig turns into a phoenix, she has a burning day, and burns down the house while Harry is sleeping.

Lily Potter reads the Harry Potter books and kills herself, because her son is a pussy.

 

When Harry performs his first famous catch of the snitch catching it in his mouth, he chokes and dies. At least Gryffindor won.

 

Harry gets word that Voldemort is going to attack Diagon Alley. Harry goes there to help after throwing a tantrum at Dumbledore that he isn't to young to help in the war.. As soon as he enters the Alley, a stray Avada Kedavra hits him in the forehead.

It happens to be one from Voldemort: Prophecy fufilled, Harry dies.

 

Post Ootp: He tells Griphook the goblin he remember his name, Griphook does not want to be rememberd and kills him.

Any year: He slips on a banana peel and breaks his neck

2nd year: The cornish pixies throws out through the window during the Defence against the dark arts lesson. He dies from a cracked skull

 

He eats a rabid werewolf's placenta flavoured Bertie Bott bean and gags to death. Yea some of those flavours can get pretty specific.