*snorts* Don't you dare make a wurst flavoured Bertie Bott Bean thread...
(Say it aloud 10 times realy fast, it's hillarious... or is it? *significant look*)

 

HBP = After Tonks finds him, Harry jumps off the train too late...ouch.

 

Murdered by Colin Creevy

He should have just let him take the picture, never underestimate fanboy rage.

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Harry isn't about to wear pink fuzzy ear muffs when working with mandrakes. Death by root. He should have known, real men wear pink.

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This is oddly cathartic, I spend so much time trying to find ways of keeping the bugger alive.

 

After having an orgy in the female dormitories, Harry leaves the room to go and resume training in his magical time turning trunk. Unfortunately in his sated state, he forgot to commune with the spirit of Hogwarts, which therefore unfortunately only recognized him as a boy on the staircase with to the female dormitories. Harry's bare feet slipped on the smooth slide and he fell over backwards cracking open his skull on the hard stone.

 

HBP - Falsely confident after the 2nd task in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Harry dives right into the water with Dumbledore thinking he can swim to the cave. Turns out its the gillyweed that let him swim.

 

Harry thinks he can gain an advantage over Voldemort by enchanting muggle weapons, only to discover that the only thing you get when using magic on gunpowder is a really big explosion.

 

After going through some changes in the summer before 6th year, Dumbledore finds that Harry is actualy the son of Snape, not James. Harry dies of a genetical disease.

 

PS/SS - Hagrid can't ride one handed. Drops Harry from 500ft on his way to #4 Privet Dr.

- It turns out a baby can't survive a November night in England. One day after Voldemort's first fall, Harry dies from hypothermia.

Post-Hogwarts - Harry is finally given access to his fan mail that's been building up since Hallowe'en, 1981. He bleeds out from paper cuts caused by a metric ton of mail.

 

He gets an STD from his gay sex with Ron, and dies.

 

A Harry Potter with the memories of his father James is entered in the Triwizard Tournament, he is killed by Neville who has the memories of his father Frank, and remembers the time James and Alice did it.

Fearfull for his life, Harry pics up a cursed coin with a Fallen Angel inside, after defeating all his enemies in epic battles, he dies from a simultaneous heart and brain atack. God smiles.

 

Omake that bitch. Now.

 

Harry goes to a bar, with all five of his Aeropostale collars popped, gelled up hair, fake and bake tan, cubic zirconium earrings, gets wasted and goes home with some random chick. The next morning he wakes up in a tub filled with ice and both of his kidneys gone. He soon dies of renal failure.

Forgets to get a safety buddy and dies in his closet after an intense round of autoerotic asphyxiation.

 

Wtf is Marge doing on the 2nd book? She shows up at the third one.

At the fourth animagi section with his friends, he turns into a rabbit and gets eaten by Hermione's crazy lioness.

Gets hit by 13 AKs after he picks up the prophecy. One deatheater summons it before falling and takes it to Voldemort.

After his Golden Patronus destroyed all the dementors in Azkaban, it turns on the caster in a atempt to destroy the horcrux 'evilness'.

slips on the vanishing step on the moving stairway and snaps his neck somewhere on the way down.

 

He joins DLP and kills himself after reading Oedipus Flower.

 

Rocks fall, everybody dies.

 

After getting caught in Aragog's webbing he casts Incendio to burn the webs and catches on fire.

 

Trying to get out of class, he takes several puking pastilles to speed up the process. Later, mistakes nosebleed nougats as the antidote. Dies from a lungful of blood and vomit.

GoF - In the maze, Harry tries to blast through the maze but gets stuck when the vines grow back to quickly. He gets his organs turned to mush from an acromantula while getting anal raped by the sphinx with a strap-on.

 

DarkAizen is absolutely my new favorite DLPer. Good form, old chap!

 

While under Romilda Vane's love potion, Ron sees her flirting at Harry and in a fit of potion induced jealousy and rage, kills Harry.

 

Defeats the dragon in the First Task only to catch Dragon Pox from it.

Naively thinking that the Half Blood Prince is a friendly wizard, Harry decides to get Ron to try out the mysterious Sectumsempra spell on him.