I happened to see the Street Fighter movie earlier tonight. I first saw it when I was around nine or ten I think and I remember how awesome I thought it was. (This was before I even knew what Street Fighter was)

Now? I weep for all the brain cells that must of died in order for this movie to be made. Would it really have been so hard for them to make the movie better? I mean they had so much to work with and they BLEW IT!

Anyway what about you? What movies have you seen that made you die a little inside?

 

Street Fighter the Movie isn't just terrible. It's HILARIOUSLY terrible. However, it does have a very good quote:

Chun Li: My father saved his village at the cost of his own life. You had him shot as you ran away. A hero at a thousand paces!
Bison: I'm sorry... I don't remember any of it.
Chun Li: You don't remember?
Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday.

But that's not all...

I recall this simply MARVELOUSly terribly written and acted speech by "Guile", played with Panache by the non-American soldier archetype Jean Claude Van-Damme (imagine spoken in the very worse accent possible):

Guile: Well, I'm not going home. I'm gonna get on my boat, and I'm going up river, and I'm going to kick that son of a bitch Bison's ass so hard that the next Bison wannabe is gonna feel it! Now, who wants to go home... and who wants to go with me?

And Street Fighter The Movie the Game was ALMOST as bad! Yeah, good times. Memories, sweet memories.

But personally, I've always found "Batman & Robin" to have such a high pun-to-line of dialogue ratio that it's just a bit painful.

-J

 

Aww come on Batman and Robin is amazing just for all the ice puns.
"Chill Out"
"Get ready Gotham a freeze is coming"
"It going to be a cold night"
"That's what I told lady Freeze when I pulled her plug, this is a one woman show"
"NOOOO"

All those lines are amazing when said by Arnold Swarzenneger.

Top bad movies I would have to say are
Jack Frost with Michael Keaton
Followed by Spanglish. Had the sad displeasure of seeing that and I fairly positive my eyes bled.

I personal favorite of mine though it is a crappy movie is
The Monster Squad, but its not a very well known movie.

 

I remember when I was 15 and I thought that Dude, Where's My Car? was pure greatness.. I just saw it again 7 years later and it was terrible. I cannot believe that I used to think that that movie was funny.

 

Spider-Man 3 was awful, an emo Peter Parker is something that I never want to see again.

Oh and watching DOA Dead or Alive the movie was god awful as well.

 

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter", "Troll 2", "Dark Future", "Mutant Man", "Shark Attack 3", "Mortal Kombat Annihilation", "Mac and Me", "Plan 9 from Outer Space", "Superman 4", "The House of the Dead", "Star Wars Holiday Special", "Ninja Kill", "Spawn", "Mighty Morphing Power Rangers: The Movie", "Alone in the Dark", "The Scorpion King", "The Shadow"...

Now that's awful and it's just a tiny bit of the worst that I've seen.

 

Hey, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was a fucking epic movie. Yes it was horrible, but it was horribly awesome. There were a lot of good quotes in that movie.

 

Just saw Enchanted, and that movie was shit on a stick. It was almost as difficult to site through as Peter Jackson's King Kong.

 

Just this Friday I went and saw the Golden Compass. I got to say, that was probably the shittiest movie I have watched this entire year. The only redeeming part in my mind was the Iorek vs. Iofur fight. And even that was so out of place that it almost sucked (Only redeeming thing was Iorek's badassness, and all the little kiddies with their parents gasping in shock and surprise when he tore Iofur's jaw off and broke his neck).

 

No wai! >_> Street Fighter was an awesome movie. It even had random triple back flip kicks which somehow knock someone into a massive screen. Genetic mutation. Blanka was awesome, bitch owned everyone. Plus, hot Asian chick in skimpy red leather-ish outfit, what more could you ask for?

 

Dragon-wars. The story line and plot is fine and all but some things i just don't get. It's such a terrible movie that they didn't even play it on the theaters. Hell, a friend of mine works in theaters and never heard of it.

It was terrible beyond belief.

 

Anything by Uwe Boll.

 

That Robin Williams movie where he's a comedian who runs for president, 'Man of the Year'. Insanely boring drivel that was obviously trying to make a political statement, but failed. Massively.

 

Snakes on a Train, and no im not confusing it with Snakes on a Plane. It's a complete budget movie that is so bad its absolutely hilarious. At the end they ran out of a budget and were getting kicked out of where they were shooting so they made the ending something that had absoultely nothing to do with the rest of the movie.

 

Please, you just don't like 300 because it wasn't historically accurate enough to have the Spartans butt loving each other.

As to my least liked movie: it's either the Bourne series (which I know a lot of people like, but I just thought made an utter travesty of at least decent books) or the HP movies. The latter is probably for the same reason as former.

EDIT: Oh, and Jaws. I'll murder anyone who even vaguely suggests I should watch it.

 

Off the top of my head, here are a few high-budged movies that actually pissed me off by how much they sucked.

Constantine - a stinking piece of Catholic propaganda, although I guess the comic book source material is to partially blame for that as well.

Matrix 2 and 3 - almost ruined any chance for Matrix to fully become a part of film history (without "except its sequels" tag).

Star Wars Episode 1 - completely screws up conceptually, catastrophic script and let's not forget Jar-Jar.

Lost in Translation - what do people see in this crap? I find it simply boring and pointless.

Alexandar - I like Oliver Stone and historic epics, but this one simply didn't work. At all.

Kingdom Of Heaven - Same as Alexandar, just replace Stone with Ridley Scott.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - I liked the books well enough, effects were OK, actors too, but the movie still managed to piss me off enough that I shut it off half an hour in. Annoying =/= funny.

Hmm, I figure that's enough...

 

Lets see.... well there a lot of movies that come to mind really.

Knocked Up - I shut this piece of shit off in about 30 mins. Really... where was the funny?

Any movie with Will Ferrell - Stupid humor fails. 100% of the time.

Pathfinder - Historic Inaccuracies out the ass.

Austin Powers series - I was seriously surprised that a script like this got turned into a movie... let alone a series.

The New World - It dragged... and dragged and kept on dragging.

Grandmas Boy - Again, another stupid humor movie that failed.

HP Movies 1 and 2 - Do I really need to explain here?

Napoleon Dynamite - Good god, this movie was a pile of shit. Everyone I know seems to find this funny... yet it was god awful.

Scary Movie Series and Epic Movie - Again, why should I even explain why these sucked?

Lady in the Water - Twist after twist after twist. M. Night really needs to stop playing Twister.

Blade Runner - For such a great movie with a nice plot, dialog etc.... they really failed in casting.

That seems like enough...