I hated the ending. It wrapped up everything, but that wasn't the point. This kind of story doesn't NEED a happy ending. What if Harry had just gone on living in Bizarro world? Often, the human imagination can come up with scenarios and daydreams far better than any author could write. 1/5

 

I actually enjoyed this quite a bit, despite bits that needed to be skimmed or slogged through.

The HGW parts are surprisingly bareable, largely because

Spoiler

she manages to off herself in an entertaining fashion rather early on.

Spoiler

The ending did irritate, because everyone is cheering for the opposite to happen and you bloody well know it.

I will note that its not getting a 4 largely because so much of the plot felt forced, like things that mattered could have just as easily not.

Especially the part involving whatever the fuck potion was involved.

3/5

 

For me, grammar and style is a big issue. I know some people will forgive horrible writing if the story is interesting and original and the characters are brilliant, but I'm almost the opposite -- if I keep getting thrown out of the story by awkwardly constructed sentences, typos, punctuation errors, repetitious phrases, etc., it is very difficult for me to enjoy the story. Whereas I'll sometimes keep reading a rather boring story if it's written well, hoping to find some gems of really exceptional writing to make it all worthwhile.

I thought the start of the story was very interesting -- as someone else mentioned, it reminded me of I Am Legend. It was creepy and made me really want to know what was going on, so I slogged onward, despite the tedious and clumsy prose.

I ended up skipping forward a lot, because it just started to grate too much. The ending... meh.

Aside from the poor writing, which could have been dramatically improved with a beta (I get the impression this author is young, and possibly not a native English speaker; I could be wrong), there were just too many things that didn't make sense, and others that were resolved in a deux ex machina fashion. I found a lot of the characterization inconsistent, and the dialog read like the author really wanted it to be wittier and snappier than it was.

I guess I will give it a 3/5, since it struck me as "average" for fan fics. Not eye-bleedingly bad, but not really very good.

 

well written, no doubt about that, but it left me feeling slightly depressed and more than a little annoyed. 4.5 for the writing, 2.5 for the plot.

3.5 average

 

Hi there, author here.

I got linked to this site by someone and found the reviews to be on par with the other sites I've posted the story on. Interesting beginning, tedious middle, shite ending.

It actually took me two years to finish this story because, shocker, I got bored during the middle of it. I suppose that explains the rather uneven writing throughout the story but I felt obliged to finish it.

Thanks for the criticisms and the write up though! They're much appreciated.

Cheers

 

Chapter 5 was actually pretty good. it delved into the realm of insanity and in many ways leads us to question our own sanity. I did however skip 2-4 after reading the reviews so that may largly contribute to my interest in chapter 5 (since the start of chapter 1 was nearly photocopied from I am Legend).